Dear Abby,

For the sake of this post, you, the reader are Abby

I have an interesting conundrum that I could use some expert advise on.

Each year for the past 8 years my husband and I have hosted a lovely cocktail party at our home around the Christmas holidays.

I look forward to this special occasion each year as I love to give parties, it is one of my favorite things to do.

I go through a lot of trouble each year starting with the invitations. I think the invitation is the precursor for the party to come, you know, it sets the tone.

I clearly state on the invitation each year that this is a cocktail party.

(I don't want anyone to be confused that if could be a pool, costume or slumber party)

I always plan the event a bit later in the evening around 7 pm.

And I always state that we will be serving heavy hors d'œuvres.

It is a great night for all to dress a bit nicer, have a festive martini and have adult conversation with the friends you only see a few times a year.

The guests are usually family members, neighbors, some key employees and a few very good friends. Usually adding up to 25-40 people.

It never fails though that each year, I am greeted by not only my invited guests, but some of their children also.

Mind you, the kids that come are not "young".

I don't have little toddlers running around, but I do have children at the dining room table picking through the lovely table of food sometimes leaving the chaffing dishes completely empty while the adults are still mingling.

My next lovely vision is of them planting themselves in front of the dessert table and dipping fingers into the beautiful chocolate fountain. I know a chocolate fountain is very tempting, even for adults. But come on!

But don't you think the parents would know better? First off know better than to bring kids to a cocktail party, then by perhaps policing their food intake if they do let them attend?

My children are always instructed to be "out of the way" for this party. They get it and they don't really care. They understand that this is an adult party.

How come some adults themselves don't get this? Should I just NOT invite the offending parties?

Or, should I suck it up and just sigh when I see them at my door on the night of the party? Concede and put out pigs n blankets to keep the kids away from the shrimp cocktail and bacon wrapped scallops.

I hate to do that, because then it is NOT really the party I had envisioned .

I don't want to sound like some mean person who does not like children. I just think there are "kid friendly parties", then there are adult parties.

You would think that parents would love to have a night out with out their kids, Lord knows I do.

Signed,

Hopeless Hostess