March 31, 2011

I lost my tears, then we were reunited.

Last night was ‘senior night’ for LoLo and 2 of her teammates. IT was the last home game of the season….the last for their high school career. I’ll miss seeing HER on that field. Next year…her field will be much bigger and further away.

Time flies when you are living. Next thing I know, she’ll be graduating and then we’ll  have to start her campaign for posing presidency.


These two have played together since they were 9…and will continue together at college in the fall. 

Anyhoo…the beginning of the game contained a little dedication to the seniors. The announcer read what the girls were going to do after graduation and WHO they thanked…there were tears…many many tears…. and you will all be shocked that NONE of them were from me. Seriously…what happened to me? I cry ALL the TIME.

My tear well must have dried up; like the skin on my feet. 


I can’t tell you how much my heart fills up when I see this….and to know HOW much he ADORES his girls. That is NOT always a given with parents/dads….my girls are so lucky. 

Ok, now I am crying.


Did anyone notice that the Coach has lost weight? Apparently I was the recipient of all his weight loss.  Um…lets limit our sharing to the bank account, house chores, offspring and fun stuff….Thank you sweet husband.

There I go, throwing out my gang signs again. This is my sign for: Nachos please…Extra cheese!


And if I want to get all bragidocious…and I do. Lolo had an amazing night.  NOT a ball got past her…the girl was on fire. Yes, I almost called the men on the red truck with the big hose.


We have a few more district games and then she will be hanging up her #99 jersey. She has been #99 since she was 9 years old and she’ll be 18 soon…. 


Well, on that note…I am going to find a nice corner, grab my box of puffs plus with lotion and cry my lil’ eyes out. 

Who moved my box of wine??

Boo freekin’ hoo. 



March 29, 2011

Struggling with sanity while being snarky


Recently, the whole famdamily was running errands together. This always makes for some quality and silly conversations in the car. We had to stop by a place of business and pick up some stuff from a friend of ours. This friend is an odd bird.

After we got back into the car, I said: gosh, so and so is just sooooo strange.

Coach’s reply: Yep, so and so certainly does struggle with sanity.

We all busted out laughing because of the ‘matter of fact’ way he said it…and he wasn't trying to be funny.

For the rest of the day “struggling with sanity” was the phrase that pays.

For sure every 28 days or so, I will declare to the whole family: Stay away…I am struggling with sanity and I have a shank! Then I’ll give them that evil laugh of mine….mwwwaaahhhhhhaaaa.

If I warn them, then my conscience is clean as a whistle. (According to my attorney.)


A few days later, Lo had a wacky face book message from a person who ‘struggles with sanity.’ (not a friend…but a parent of a friend)

She read it to me, and I said: wow, that was quite snarky.

Lo laughed at me: Snarky? Whaaaat?

I said: snarky….you know, sassy…catty….not nice.

She shook her head, like I made this word up myself.

{bananahammock who?}

A day later she was watching an episode of House…and they used the word Snarky.

I have been vindicated.

Now, it is a fact…you know since it was on fictional TV and all!

Don’t you ever get the urge to shank some snarky person who is clearly struggling with sanity?

I can’t be the only one.



March 28, 2011

Remember the *Easter* Lilies; OR not.

Does any flower scream Easter like the Lily?
Well, for me, there is none other.
As a child, going to church with Grandma I vividly remember the Easter lilies all lined up near the pulpit.
I remember reading through the church bulletin during the Easter service about WHO the lilies were for. They were all purchased in memoriam for someone.
I remember seeing that Grandma purchased one for my Grandpa after he died.
I would look towards the pulpit…wondering which one was ‘his’.
Years later, I would read that there was a lily placed in my Brother’s name.
And two Easters later, my Dad was added to the Easter Lilly collection.
Sadly, our family was filling up the lily section.
Cut to a few years ago when Grandma was still alive.
She could no longer get to church during the year, much less on Easter.
Easter morning, the coach and I with the girls loaded up our car and made the hour and forty minute trek to Grandma’s house to celebrate Easter.
I had the biggest whitest lily in the back of the car for Grandma.
When we arrived, she was happy to see us all. She was always happy to see us.
When I handed her the big ol’ white lily…she looked at it, she then looked at me.
I said: Isn’t it beautiful?
She said: Lilies' always remind me of funerals. And they stink. I don’t care for them.
I should have known.
 great grandma[5]
That woman could not filter her thoughts whatsoever.
So now, whenever I see a lily…I remember HER.
And then my thoughts roam to stinky funerals; then back to her and her unfiltered funny as heck self.
Do you remember when she called me a PERVERT?  Gosh…what are the chances of anyone ever calling me that again?

March 25, 2011

Beach ball and a new distraction


For the beginning of our spring break we headed to the East coast; Cape Canaveral/Cocoa/Titusville. This was a two fold trip….softball games and breaking for spring.IMG_7633

The Coach booked rooms for the team (and chaperones) at condo units ON.THE.BEACH. Yep, he rolls like that. And the girls fundraised enough to warrant this.

It was a great time for all; a light schedule & good camaraderie. The Coach cooked omelets each morning with all the fixins and then the girls had two games per day, (only 1 game on the last day) and headed to the beach each afternoon. Then the pool. Then the hot tub. Then the shower.

They won 4 out of 5 games.


I could not convince that cruise ship to slow down and pick me up!

We enjoyed ourselves. I got my shins and my forehead sunburned (I am not the one to ask for sunscreen application.  OK?)


Lindsay is still working on this whole flying thing…

Hey, that sand there is so hard, I could have broke a hip if I fell….not.even.kidding.

And……I am wondering WHY if we live 7 miles from the beach…that it took me 4 and a half hours to drive and get excited about being at.the.beach? Weirdo.


On to my new obsession. Words With Friends. I blame this solely on my blog friend Juggling Jenn…she innocently asked me if I wanted to play. (It is scrabble between two folks, played on your ‘Droid or Iphone or Itouch.) 

I explained to Jenn that I am really only good with THREE letter words….even though you would think FOUR letter words would be my specialty.

Really, I stink at it. BUT I love it and I am trying to expand my vocabulary. And In the process I am making up words left and right. Qi, shad, boor, heft, hent, huns, jib….yep those are all words. I don’t know what they mean….but they get me points dangit.  

So far, out of a dozen or so games, I have only won ONE game. (I am currently winning against my ex step-sister though…yes, we both went to the same public school and I pity the fool!)

The one person I did beat was a ‘random’ player… meaning, I don’t know WHO that person is. I told the Coach:  “Must be a FOUR year old….cause that might be the only way I could win!”

But I’ll continue to play and lose. And make up new words in the process. One day, I might get out the dictionary to help me along….but then again, making up words and then finding out IT IS A REAL word is kinda fun and rewarding.


Yeah, that’s how I roll.

You download the app off your ‘marketplace’…’tis a free game peeps. If you want to play with me, shoot me an email with your user name.  That way, I can share my three letter words with you too.

Have a beautiful weekend doing something uncomplicated and easy.

You are uncomplicated and easy, aren’t you? 

We still have our flooring guys here….we will add in a drywall guy, and my plumber guy too. Looks like a ‘guys’ weekend with ME!!!

I’d better let them know I am not FUN or EASY. Ok, I might be fun.

But never.ever.easy.



March 24, 2011

Sunrise Owl


For the first time in a bajillion years:

I was ON the East coast~

AT the beach~

AND awake at sunrise. IMG_7687

{I am more of a ‘sunset’ type of girl…you know, a sunset night  owl}

And wouldn’t you know, there were clouds covering THE sunrise.


Oh, snap.

It was still moving & beautiful. Magical.

And it was all mine. 

(well, it was ALL mine, and those random beach walkers and those crazy peeps swimming in the cold water and that bird that kept coming near me thinking I might have some Cheetos….which I did not)

March 21, 2011

Sunshine and growing green goodness.

The girls have spring break vacation from school this week!

::insert::  a yoo, a hoo, and a yee and a haw  ::here::

We are going to tilt our heads up ever so slightly…that way we will see the beautiful blue skies of Florida and we won’t see the mess of a house we are inhabiting right now.

My posting/commenting will be sporadic or nil.  Don’t fret, call the po’po’, put my face on a milk carton or hold a fundraiser for me…I am having fun in the sun with my favorite peeps.

Speaking of blue skies and green stuff…(well I was THINKING about green stuff) I harvested my very first zucchini yesterday. I was giddy. Ecstatic. Joyful. I wasn't even miffed when the biggest black racer crossed my path in the garden. I assume he was just giddy at the sight of that green beauty! (Best keep your slithery self from my goodies snakie!)

au’ natural.


I may be the only person who gets excited when I see stuff like this! (I grew it from a seed dangit!)

Probably not enough to make a loaf of zucchini bread….yet. Soon though. There are many little siblings clamoring to burst into the world (and my kitchen) as well.IMG_7614

Have a fabulous day.

And as my friend Tigger would say: TTFN (ta ta for now)



March 17, 2011

Good news; a happy HAPPY ending

I was going to post a photo and some words today about how we have our good furniture outside….and ironically we have some lawn/pool stuff inside. But, you get the gist.  Tis a mess…


I told you guys last week that I lucked into a happy home for the white dog via my vet. Well, the new baby daddy and I just clicked. He was so sweet….he instantly LOVED the white dog.

He’d just had to put down his female boxer a few weeks prior; cancer. He was devastated. His partner was devastated. His male boxer was MORE devastated. His boxer boy was home alone all day…and lonely. Sad. Mopey. Heartbroken. 

He could not wait to get her home.

He sent me an email the next day stating that the dogs were getting along just fine, white dog was a great girl…even if she snores like a mac truck.

Here is a photo of white dog and her new brother.

Jaz and clyde2

I know…her new brother looks just like Cocoa, but with an extra long tongue. All the better for kissing I am sure.

Anyhoo…Ozzie and I went back to the vet yesterday to have his staples removed.

The vet was SO happy to see me. She was just gushing about how the “new family” loved the white dog. (they are naming her Jasmine. ‘Jazz’)

She said they made a trip in to say hi to her and were just beaming…Jazz is the new ‘princess’ of the house. They are all in love.

Jaz and Clyde

This all made me so darn happy…I knew I did the right thing…and this just compounded my thoughts before, that this dog was meant to come to us, but not to BE ours.

Doing another happy doggie dance.

As I was leaving the office, they stopped me again and said that the ‘new family’ wanted to ‘credit’ me back for all the shots and meds that I already purchased for the White dog.


I explained to them, that I was glad to do it….that I was so appreciative of them TAKING her, and giving her a good and safe home…I would never want any re-payment for that.

But it was insisted upon.

White dog has hit the family lottery. thrice. And this one will be forever.

Surely that does not make up for her being abandoned; discarded.

We’ll be passing on that credit {karma} to the rescue group in honor of her and her new family. What choice do I have?

IF this made you happy…go hug your pup. or your cat. or your hamster. or snake. or heck, to make it easier, hug whatever living/breathing creature you happen upon next.

They can thank me later.

{I sure hope you are not walking the alley ways of NYC right now!}



March 16, 2011

*Slow* Children Playing

Every time I see one of those signs I always think: Gosh, that is not nice. We are all slow at times.

AND….I laugh when I find out I am slower than I SHOULD be. 

{Don’t you think it is a gift to laugh at ones self? if you answered yes, then I’m GIFTED!!!!} 

I have blogged about my issues with smells. Especially food smells in the house. As soon as a meal is done, I am ready for the smell to VACATE.

{Bacon is my nemesis and sadly it’s the Coach’s bestie}

Since I have been using the slowcooker more often, it has gotten even worse. You know…it is sitting there cooking ALL day long, making smelly smells

And it takes almost another whole day to rid the smell..and by then I am working on my next smelly meal. Oy, I can’t win.

Finally this week I took my slowness to a new level at this revelation. With the kitchen incapacitated, I turned our laundry room into a lil’ kitchen.


{It’s quite convenient to fold your delicates and inch away from toasting a bagel!}

I had the crackpot  slow cooker going all day way back there…..but I could still smell the food all through the house.

Then it hit me like a shank to the groin: if I am using the crock pot…and it is on ALL day, then why the heck don’t I just put it outside ALL DAY???

Duh. PROBLEM SOLVED.  Had someone helped a sister out, I could have avoided the shank to the groin….

Now if I could just figure out world peace, global warming and how to program our VCR.

What? you don’t own a VCR?

Boy, you are even slower than me….

March 15, 2011

Safe S*x Kitchen.

On Monday the ‘prep’ guys ripped out the laminate flooring in the back of the house and continued to move the few things that we did not.

The ceramic tile at the front of the house will take some heavy duty machinery….


The most terrifying  moment? They wanted my fridge OUT.  Oh my lordy….how I love my fridge. I was quickly trying to figure our how to say: BUBBLE WRAP. VERY CAREFUL. PRICELESS. MY BABY all in spanish…but I could not. Darn high school Spanish teachers. I was having a bit of an ‘inside my head’ panic attack…they had no idea I was busy making ulcers

I held my breath.

It makes me sad seeing it out there all alone. Oh, not alone…it is with all our other stuff. Do you see it…peeking over the plastic protectors?  Soon, you will be back home with us sweet shiny baby.IMG_7584

Nope…no cooking going on in here today. (I had a plan though~crock pot!)


My first thought seeing this: Our kitchen is a safe sex kitchen.

love glove.

If you don’t get this….well, we have nothing in common.

All my hanging lights are also safe. I kept awaking last night worried that someone would turn them on and melt all the plastic!

From my crazy tore up happy house to yours…. Happy Tuesday ya’ll!!!!

March 14, 2011

Playroom art and making a mess of our house.

So many of you sweet peeps noticed the girls artwork in the playroom during my 10 on 10.

These were all done in art class at various stages of elementary school. I have many more stashed in a closet…I do love them.

Hanging above Lindsay’s desk:


MEOW…I love this face!


Over LoLo’s desk. I am completely annoyed that ONE of those is crooked in the frame.


I love this Starry Night…crooked. MustFIXSOON. Anal who???


Anyhoo…guess who uses the playroom most now? Mama. Way back in the day, Coach designed this room for the girls. They each had a desk with a PC and a tv cabinet and book/game shelves.  This room witnessed MANY sleepovers, twister tourneys and craft projects.

Since they now have laptops (and a car!)…they are so mobile in the house. Usually they gravitate towards the kitchen… you know, where the FOOD is located?

{Damn wifi will be the death of all of us!}

I moved my treadmill in here a few months ago….I use the TIVO to record MY shows for my workout…I even use the Wii dance for cardio.  

I will soon rename it Mama’s Playroom. Or Suz’s sanctuary. Or The Bee Inn. Or 


I’ll be spending some good quality time in here over the next few weeks…


As I type this post, I am sitting at my kitchen table. Which is not unusual…except for the fact that our kitchen table is now located outside near the pool. Convenient huh?

We are tearing up most of our house this week. New floors.

A note to any future guests, you’ll have to curl up into a very small ball to sleep in our guest room. It is now a holding room for stuff. IMG_7568

You can only walk into the room about 6 steps and then there is a wall of stuff. Reminds me of my room as a teen.

Here is a big change in the family room from yesterday. Before:




HAHA. Most people upgrade…not us. Well, not yet anyway! The Coach designed a new tv area…the old stuff went to one of his good employees’ home.

We’ll just call this look minimalistic chic.

I’ll try to post photos of the destruction…geeze Jackhammers in my house! I am askeered!!! I also have to share a photo of the White dog with her new bestie!! Don’t you love a happy ending?? Me too.

Have a great day!!!


March 10, 2011

Ten on Ten

ten on ten :: Take a photo every hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month. Document a day of your life and find beauty among the ordinary moments.  Or something like that.

{Hosted By Rebeka!}



Perhaps the most mundane day of my week…with one HIGH point. 





Ice maker




White dog


The high point was finding a wonderful home for The White dog. I had a feeling this pup came to us for a reason…and not to be our dog. Not only was she wanted…she was practically NEEDED for companionship. I am so happy for her and her new family!!!

* doing my happy doggie dance*

Did you have a high point on this rainy lovely Thursday?


March 08, 2011

This, That and The Other Thing

This: The cats are feeling like hostages in our bedroom because of The White dog.
Harley whispered a little story to me the other day; It began with “I hate that flippin’ dog” and ended with “I wish I had the claws to take her eyes out.”

Krispy and Maisy were in agreement with this little ditty.

That: It takes a very special individual who can hang out all day at a street corner, holding an advertising sign all WHILE DANCING. 
I always wave and smile; they deserve my respect and If I could safely slow down, I would put a dollar bill in their costume/belt/sombrero.

The other thing: Speaking of dollar bills. Every couple of months or so I go to the bank and withdraw cash for the girls’ lunch money. 

I say to the teller:  I need to withdraw TWO hundred dollars and I would like it all in ONES please.
The teller eyes me strangely and asks: Two hundred dollars in ONES?
I dryly respond that I need a little ‘me’ time; I’m heading to a strip club.
I need to make up a new story for next time. Any ideas?

March 07, 2011

Say What?


There is a strong chance that siblings who turn out well were hassled by the same parents.  ~Robert Brault

While pulling up to the pharmacy drive thru, Linds says to me:

“Oh, please ask them if I can have a lollypop!”

I laughed and then looked at her strangely:

“This is not a bank…you don’t get a lollypop at every drive thru!”

As I was trying to speak with the pharmacist, all I could hear next to me was the whispering of: lollypoplollypoplollypop.

I couldn't stop laughing….and I just wanted to POP her in the lolly pop pie hole.  I resisted.


Lo asked me out of the blue:

Mama, do you you remember when Tupac died?

Me: I think he died in the 90’s.

Lo: Did you cry?

Me: No, I don’t remember crying.

{What ‘hood does she think she grew up in?}



Normal would never be a good description of anyone I am related to.


March 04, 2011

Thankful, happy and snake wrangling.


I was going to write about some good news..some happy stuff in the works…but then I thought about the old adage about speaking too soon and ruining everything. Or don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Or keeping my ducks in a row. Or throwing the baby out with the bathwater…or something like that. Ok maybe none of those pertain to me…but anyhoo…

My husband rocks. SO there.

**this is me doing the happy dance**

Stop laughing….most people jiggle when they dance!

Remember we went to an Oscar party on Sunday? I’m sure you have thought about nothing else this week.

It was tres’ fun.


*Bad cell phone photos alert*

1298844911277The hosts have two of these Oscars at the entrance to their home. They called for a theme this year: Parrot head. {Jimmy Buffet} The food and entertainment was all about being tropical this year. We both got laid lei’d on the red carpet. Forizzle.

1298847987686The table centerpieces. Not the red wine, but behind the red wine. I swear that glass of wine is not THAT big. No the parrot is not in that lady’s hair…but sitting upon a huge margarita glass.  It was a great party…the Coach and I actually stayed until the very end this year. We usually leave earlier, which is crazy since we are the youngest peeps there!!!

The party is held outside on the pool lanai. They hang a huge movie screen on the back of the pool screen…sit down/served dinner. Full bar. Full fun.


{Floating light/arrangement in the pool}


The coach got lucky. Did I say lucky? He is also a lucky genius with choosing his winners.

He won “Best Supporting Guesser” and his other unnamed Oscar?

Well that came as a surprise…to everyone. Midway through the party we hear a ruckus behind us towards the doors of the house. {all the doors were wide open} and we see people jumping up and gasping. The Coach slowly walked over towards it all and next thing I see is him leaning down and picking  up a big ol’ snake. He casually carries it outside to the grass area and comes back in. {meanwhile ladies and some gentlemen are passing out! LOL} You have never seen so many happy people. They were terrified of the snake. It was a corn snake people…just like our pet Freddie. Sissies. Luckily though…if that snake had entered the house, it might not have been found for days.

So, his other Oscar was for his “Snake wrangling” capabilities. Crazy funny.

It has been and UP and down week. A few dramatic moments with one of my children. {In my next life, my kids will attend an all girls boarding school in Switzerland} And of course the dog situation.  And then the good news. Oh…I never was a fan of rollercoasters! But at least I am wearing my helmet.

We are getting through it all….you know what they say: All you need is LOVE. And food. And water. And some other stuff too. Like a ….

XOXOXO Have a beeutiful weekend. I hope it is drama free and fun filled. 

March 03, 2011

Nurse Nightingale is pooped.

So bleddy tired.

I’ve had little sleep. I am not the type of girl who can go without…I get bloody cranky. Speaking of blood….

The “new dog” has slowed down on her bleeding. She has not slowed down on chasing the cats though….anyhoo. I think we might have a good result in our dilemma with her too. Fingers crossed. Her vet visit yesterday went pretty well.

Other bloody news…our sweet Ozzie had his bladder surgery yesterday. The good news: He is fine. Groggy…peeing blood, but fine. (he left me seven puddles of bloody pee throughout the house so far…Pain meds + booboo pen*s= accidents. thank you for tile floors!) Bless his little boxer head, he can’t help it.

The bad news: when the Dr. got into his bladder…his stones WERE GONE. He passed them over the weekend.

The surgery was wasted time, money and pain/suffering. What’cha  gonna do? Nothing. Whine. Wine. Cry. Wine. And pee blood.

The vet wanted to keep him overnight…I just could not leave him there ALL ALONE all night. I preferred to clean up his puddles through the night instead.  That is what any insane woman would choose.

Back to the vet this morning to take out his IV thingy and for a check…all is well. He will have staples for two more weeks.

I’ve had to wash three dog beds, cause he does not know when his lil’ thing is leaking…But he is still smiling with his silly sweet face.


Lucky for him, he does not mind me kissing him 100 times a day. Today, he’ll get 101. 

He’ll get those 101 in between my washing/drying and steam mopping the house.

My thought for today: It never ends. Smile

Tomorrow, I promise no whining from me.


March 02, 2011

In the Garden *of life*

I often stumble on weeds. Gobs of weeds.

And miscellaneous tomato plants… IMG_7368

and misguided/mysterious lettuce heads…


You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt.  ~Author Unknown


Many times lately, I’ve wanted to bury my head myself in here…but I only got wrist deep. Apparently I’m not that great at digging.



The random baby tomato plant popped up IN THE MIDDLE OF MY GARDEN path. I think I am going to leave it there…it must have good intentions.

The red lettuce head must be a remnant from last spring…a late bloomer.


I am so looking forward to the zucchini and ‘maters and cauliflower and cucumbers and eggplant and peppers and lettuce and and….Ok, I am looking forward to it all.


Except the weeds.…unless they turn out to be a good surprise.

Have a beautiful hump day.