Junk in the trunk and Rolling along.

Happy Friday!

Sent to me via email: “I am comfortable, thanks for asking”

~~~~

I was dumbstruck yesterday when I saw the storm damage in Alabama and surrounding states. I just want to help all the victims there!!!!  So heartbreaking. Prayers for all those in need.

~~~

*Someone* went to the Dr. this week for a mysterious skin growth.

*Someone* left the Dr. knowing that she had gained too much weight and needs to get some junk out of her trunk.

Now that’s embarrassing.

If you can’t get your tights up over your hips…you need to skip the morning cookies.

‘nuff said.

~~~

Well, I must go easy on Cocoa now…because I had ONE OF THOSE DAYS yesterday. I worked in the yard in the morning and the rest of the day I spent going from the fridge to the pantry. And then the pantry to the fridge. and so on…and so on…I could not find anything that tasted good…so I kept on trying. ALL.DAY.LONG.

By 7pm, I felt like this:

And today, I am full AND I want a French bulldog. Even if the Coach says they look like pigs who mated with aliens. That would be a palien. Or an aliepig. Oink.

 

Have a beautiful weekend doing something fun, unless it involves cookies. I’m just sayin’…..

XOXOXOX

Suz

Mary J*ne who?

Mary J*ne you.

I think I have posted this Easter photo before; it brings me such delight.

My brother Mark, poised, polished, alert.

Me: Stoned. 

(we won’t mention the shortness of this dress!)

I recall hearing my Mom tell stories of the Dr.’s giving pregnant women some sort of ‘speed’ drug while they were preggers back in the day. I don’t know why…perhaps to keep them thin?

I swear though…each time I see this photo, My MOM must have ingested a humongous amount of Mary J*ne brownies instead of the speed stuff. Maybe she had one of those free loving hippie Dr.’s.

The residual lasted for years. I may have been ok most of the year, but come Easter Sunday…when I caught sight of my Easter basket with all that grass in it….I was toast.

~~~~

Thank you all for your encouraging words on my last ‘stressed’ post about my kids. I have taken matters into my own hands and we won’t be having anymore boy issues.

If you would like to contact my children, send me a note. I will slip it under the closet door for them. They will be out in about 12 years.

“Yes, I know it is dark in there…get USED to IT!”

~~~

Peace out ya’ll!   

XOXO, SUZ

(I wonder if that lady is still smokin’?)

Tueeeesday.

I thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes for my Mama yesterday. I guarantee you, she read each and everyone of them. AND loved each and everyone of them. She is awesome like that.

I bet she was up late last night baking you each individual cakes filled with some sort of amoretto and dusted with crushed almonds.

It was funny that most people assumed we lived close together….we have not lived in the same state since I was 15. And we won’t go on about how long THAT has been.

DEEP breath…

Yesterday was a trying day for me/us. Being the Mom of teenage girls keeps me on my toes. My toes hurt.
I swear even Jesus himself would find these days challenging. A TEST.
And I know we have GOOD girls….but still….it is trying.

The only good/lucky part is they usually take turns being a challenge.

If I had more than two we would be in deep doodoo.

Do you know of a good convent?

Even a mediocre convent???

A Swiss boarding school?

I am game. I can purchase flights to Switzerland. The visas? NO problem.

And I thought these days were tiring? Heck, back then I could just sit them in a box.

And really, I should not complain about my girls. Cause it’s BOYS that seem to be the problem!

My motto for today: Raising children is not for sissies!

Happy Tuesday Ya’ll!!!

XO

Celebration~

 

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

~Lucille Ball

 

It’s my Mama’s Bday!

She is fabulous. Amazing. Funny. Sweet. Silly. Strong. Loving. Funny. Silly. Cute. Sweet. Funny.

Did I tell you she was funny? And cute? And amazing?

Well, now you know where I get it from. Snicker. snicker.

My Mom speaks with a beautiful Georgia twang…so everyone collectively please say:

Heeeyyyyy Bev…Happpy birthdaay!!!!

*edited* My Mom and I live in two different states. We won’t see each other until LoLo’s graduation.

Don’t bee a lazy jerk!

 

 

 

There are SOOOOO many things we can/should do to help preserve this lovely place of ours…

This little nugget of information is the easiest …seriously, very little effort.

 

If you are not using LESS (and recycling) of this

and this

And this (Styrofoam NEVER decomposes. NEVER)

Then you are part of the problem and not part of the solution.

And I don’t hang out with problem people.

This is where your plastic (and electronic) garbage can end up.

And these critters did not ask for this.

So many people are in denial that recycling helps.

Ignorance must be bliss.

I hope the ignorant choke on a piece of plastic blissfully.

Was that mean of me?

Nah….

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

~Anne Frank

Will you do something good for OUR home today?

You know I will.

{All photos borrowed from the ‘net…it’s the green way to travel}

The end.

 

Last night Lolo had her final high school softball game. Ever.

She had a nice triple and played well, but the game ended and reality set in. No more.

There were lots of tears. Girls are such sissies and I love those sissies.  I also love that my lil’ player wouldn’t be seen on the field without ribbons in her hair. Ever.

It did not dawn on me until this morning that her Daddy won’t be her Coach anymore. 12 years just flew by…

We are swiftly making it through this senior year…I am trying to grasp each and every moment for her, with her…but it is hard when I can’t keep from blinking!!

Next up: Prom.

Oh, I mean PROMS.

Lo is going to her prom with all her friends and she is going to a prom as a guest at another school.

Yeah, two proms in two weekends.

I hope she remembers all the highlights of this year forever.

Today is senior skip day; and I obliged. Grasping it minute by minute.

Misplaced green growth

 

If a tree can grow in Brooklyn….then why can’t a tomato plant grow next to my compost?

I stopped using this compost bin a while ago because the door flew off during a tropical storm. I rigged up a door-like contraption, but it did not work for long, the critters (dogs, raccoons, bunnies, squirrels, sasquatch) used it as a buffet and made a mess.  Ok, it was mostly the dogs.

I need a new compost because I really do miss using it.  Do you compost?   It’s really easy and it lightens up your garbage pail.

I told Linds yesterday…”I gotta go take a picture of that random tomato plant out there by the compost.”

She said: “It just wants to be different, and NOT be in the garden like all the other plants.”

It takes a rebel to know a rebel.

Happy Humpday!

In your face entertainment and light!

We have been a flurry of busyness…and I have some evidence!

The before and after of our entertainment center/TV area was a big undertaking that required hours of discussion, thoughts, phone calls, emails, texts, a global summit and more discussion.

I was only part of a few discussions and I was doing laundry during the summit.

The OLD: This was nice…it was great for the last 14 3/4 years.

But the Coach wanted to update our TV…and that required change.

It looked like this for a few days….

Voilà; change!

We actually (I was reluctant!) added a drywall splay…it was a corner before and now it is a 45 degree something or other yada yada….

The TV is outrageous. If our roof flew off the TV could be visible from Mars…for the little green guys viewing pleasure of course.

Notice my stalker dog?

~~~

During our floor renovation the light fixture over the kitchen table took a piece of travertine to the face. The worker bees actually did me a favor…since I never really liked this fixture anyway.

THIS is what I really wanted.

I love it. I don’t think the Coach was thrilled with it, but like the wonderful husband he is, he said nothing and installed it yesterday.

We finished putting our dining room back together yesterday too…the glass tabletop has been outside for 4 weeks!

The new flooring actually makes EVERYTHING in our house look better…all our furniture and kitchen cabinets look new and prettyfull!

I don’t want to boast too much…but I actually look better too!

Our house is complete. Well, I still have some trim painting to do…and some lil’ tid-bits inside…and the landscaping has gone to poop….Are we ever done? Nahhhhh

How full was your weekend?

Inside out, crazy and colorful.

Have you ever gone all day…perhaps 15 hours before you realized your underwear are on inside out?

No? Me neither.  But wouldn’t it be funny if someone was stupid enough to do that?? snort. snort. 

Peeps who go commando have no idea the silliness they are missing.

~~~~

So glad we are all in agreement about the push present yesterday. I feel better now. Rebeckah pointed out (cause I forgot) that this very same lady also got Diamond earrings (the size of Gibraltar) after she had her boob job. He husband is the best…I am sure they have a very deep and meaningful relationship.

So….would the earrings be considered a PUMP present???

Snort.snort.

I crack myself UP.

~~~~

Our weekend: 

softball.

a charity walk.

softball.

a party.

home improvements.

In the middle there we will feed our faces and perhaps catch some shut-eye.

Maybe a movie on the new TV??? I am still trying to avoid watching Avatar. This weekend might be my demise.

Some photos for your viewing pleasure…yes, we are all visual people.

I wrote before how LoLo loves her sharpies…and she makes some amazing artwork. Well, this year, that artwork went to her tootsies….

She was commissioned to do artwork for most of the team this year. They all look SO cool!  (pre-game attire)

We should have bought stock in sharpies!!!!

She is now playing with an injured knee in addition to her boo-boo’ed shoulder. Oy.  It is hard to be an athlete. But, I’ll never know.

Have a beautiful weekend…doing whatever you do…

hey, go crazy and make It colorful!!!

xo

Suz

Push Present

The things I learn from watching reality TV….

I was innocently watching the Real Housewives of Orange county the other day (btw: none of them are real housewives…they all have housekeepers. LIARS.)

One woman, who shall remain nameless and expressionless forever said:

When I had my first baby I told my husband “For my PUSH present I want a Bentley.”

And she got a flippin’ Bentley. 

I watched this…my mouth agape….

and then I thought: Wow, when I gave birth I DID get a present too.

It was AN ACTUAL human BABY.

BOO Yah.  Top that Mrs. Botulism.

Has anyone else heard of this??

Call me crazy…I thought that was gift enough.

Am I low maintenance…or am I human?

I’ll go with human on this one.

XO

Suz

Nekkidness is next to….

Happiness?

 

Yesterday was the first day in three weeks that I did not have any men working in the house. I contemplated declaring it Nekkid Monday…then I remembered I had to paint some more trim….and getting oil based paint on my parts would not be enjoyable.

The laundry room (craft room) is done. Doing the tile in this room was an afterthought…I am SO glad we thought of it. 

I swear to Buda, I can’t go anywhere without Ozzie following me.

I know…the craft room is HUGE. In my defense it is also the office/laundry/storage room.  Does that make you feel better?

Yes, I am lucky.

Did I tell you that the washer/dryer was unhooked for THREE days. In ‘Suz years’ that equates to three weeks. I tried to convince the girls to go commando…they would not hear of it.

Our family/friends will be so pleased to see this hallway that leads to the craft room Now.

This is how it looked for several years…thank you hurricane Wilma!

Tis all purty now. See that stalker dog…I swear….

Wow. So much naked talk today; must be the heat.  I am already yearning for FALL!!!!

XO

Spaghetti in my hair.

We had a busy whirlwind weekend. Full of laughter, sleepiness, dancing, birthdays, organization, laundry, cleaning, electronic craziness….no, I did not have tickets to Charlie Sheen’s Torpedo of Truth show. 

Just so you don’t think I have been imprisoned; a mini update.

Our flooring was complete on Friday. Yippie. I LOVE the floors so much that I want to marry them…but I am totally against bigamy.  Unless it gets me a sister wife, then I am all for it.

Photos soon.

Linds had her final dance show for dance line on Friday night.

We had a group of East Coasters at our house before we even made it home from the show…there were there to set up our new TV system for the family room. (and to visit)

Oy, complicated much?

The back of the cabinet. Spaghetti junction.

I was thrilled I could even turn it on this morning. The coach got the TV of his dreams…my neighbors might be able to see it from their house. 

I converted our guest room (and Lindsay’s room) BACK from a junk pile (storage area) to actual rooms. It took a large part of the day.

I was whooped.

Saturday was filled with busyness from the early a.m to the early a.m. on Sunday.  Forizzle. Our peeps were not able to leave until the ‘job’ was done. It was done at 2am on Sunday.  Suz checked out at 12:30. Hostess who?

Enough of my weekend.

This photo of cocoa and Ozzie pretty much sums of their relationship. Cocoa wears the pants and walks all over him. He likes it. 

I should be more like Ozzie…nothing phases him, even a butt in the face.

I hope you are well…rested…happy…healthy.

XO

Suz

Hair-raising

 

Ever feel like this?

Me three.

 

{Carrot grown by my gardening mentor. Expression by LoLo}

That’s not my name.

Hello, my name is Suzanne.

Not Susan.

Not Sue.

If you ask me my name, and I say “Suzanne”….please don’t write or say “Susan” three seconds later.

That is not even close.

This happens with hostesses at restaurants,  Dr.’s offices, the drycleaner, my chauffeur mechanic; almost everywhere.

Is Suzanne that hard to say? That hard to spell?

For now on, I am going with my alter ego.

Just call me Suz Madonna.

 

Oh, and I love this song so much it makes my toes wiggle and my butt jiggle.

Thats NOT MY name.

XO

Suz Madonna

Home deprovments and other nonsense.

We are nothing if not busy peeps lately at our house.

The Coach and I had a beautiful dinner with some wonderful friends on Friday night….we were all of 20 feet from the rolling waves of the gulf of Mexico. I had sand in my toes…and a fabulous dinner in my belly. And better than that? LAUGHTER. So much laughter, I might have burnt more calories than I ingested.  It was all fun and games until we were rudely interrupted by the valet giving us our keys. We turned around and realized that EVERY SINGLE person had left the restaurant…including all the help. Oops.

Back to reality….

Saturday was filled with cleaning the lbs of dust off the windows and moving some furniture back inside the house….and removing the lbs of dust off again.

When all this home improvement stuff is over, I wonder what we will do then? Sit? Relax? Think of more stuff to do?

Yesterday the Coach and the girls ripped out the flooring in my laundry/craft/office. You notice, I called it MY room... Cause It is.  I reign over my laundry area.

It is also a mess right now. A hawt mess.

While they did that I ate some bon bons painted the inside of two closets that we destroyed took apart during the floor demolition.

You notice I painted the inside of the closet the same as the wall color?? I know…genius. I fight the white!

The coach is making new closet systems for both….and of course my Rosie (The Dyson queen) Is happy with the new color too.

I also painted new baseboards and door moldings. I loathe using that oil based paint though….dang, I am trying hard to hang on to these last four brain cells.

I then took the smelly brain cell reducing paint inside and cleaned up some door ways and baseboard.

I was so busy yesterday, that I didn’t even check to see how much I was losing at Words With Friends until after 6pm. Now that is serious…And I wasn’t even losing that badly. Apparently other peeps are huffing using that paint too.

I also have been working on Lo’s graduation announcements and party invitations. I feel so happy to (almost) be ahead of the ‘game’ for once!

How was your weekend??

Did you manage to hang onto YOUR brain cells?

xo

Suz

Thank Gosh its…..

A Day.

Really, what difference does it make to me what day of the week it is???

I do the same thing MOST days….and it all revolves around this  humble abode of mine and it’s inhabitants.

We are getting there with the new flooring. The front part of the house is almost squared away…tiled, grouted and today the guys who ‘seal’ the stone will be here doing their thing. Still, we have some caulking and baseboard work to do….and then we will continue with the back of the house.

Perhaps we can bring in some furniture tomorrow?

Cocoa gives the new floor four paws UP.

Swear to my motha’ in my next life, I will start and finish my journey in a house that is less than 1200 square feet.

A simple life must be a good life too.

Of course, in my next life when I end up in a mud hut somewhere in the desert, I will be cursing myself in my last life…dang it, I can’t win.   *fists in the air*

Here is a photo of the MACHINE that came through like a jackhammer on wheels and tore UP our old ceramic tile. (The noise. THE dust!)

A guy actually RODE on this through our house…like a Zamboni.

The most inconvenient part of this all?

Could you guess?

Would you guess?

It is the one thing that I did not even think about….

my dishwasher.

It has been unhooked for TWO weeks.

As well as my garbage disposal.

I don’t really HATE washing the dishes. I just don’t like it. And I SNEER at each person in my house who uses a cup or dish.

Yeah, they get the evil freakin’ eye.

{Hey, I drank out of the hose as a kid, and YOU can too!}

I have compiled a list of habitual users. You KNOW who YOU are.

*snicker snicker*

Have a beautiful dust free and dish cleaning free weekend. If you have a dishwasher, give it a good hug for me.

xoxo

Suz