September 28, 2012

Transvestites and strippers; we are family.

There has been a lot of himming and hawing, moaning, groaning and general grumbling around this house.
And that was just me getting my pants on.

Anyhoo, The Homecoming dance is this weekend. THIS dress made me giddy.
If I had my way, Lindsay would be wearing it to the dance. {Doing her best 'Toddlers in Tiara's" pose}
BUT, do I get my way? 
Well, I did once. Or thrice.

 Sadly, the dresses that SHE desires to wear make her appear as though she is 25. 
We compromised with purchasing a dress that makes her look like she is 18. 
Which is ok, since she is almost 17. 
You do the math, 'cause I'm exhausted.

Now that I think about it....I don't really have any issues with her dress choices, it's the SHOES! 
She covets shoes that transvestites also covet. And strippers. 
Lest we forget the strippers.  

Have a great weekend!
And if you dance this weekend, dance like nobody's  watching...because more than likely, nobody's watching.
Unless you have a creepy neighbor. Or you're a stripper.


September 26, 2012

Zebra IS the new black

A few weeks ago Linds and I did an impromptu bathroom makeover, which started because we were near the bathroom section at Target. 
Sometimes that is all it takes; being in the vicinity of a department. 

ME: Linds do you want a new shower curtain? 
Linds: Yes! Can we have a Zebra print?

How about zebra artwork?
 And a zebra rug? Can't have a zebra shower curtain and zebra artwork without a zebra rug.
 And seriously, who would dream of having a zebra shower curtain, zebra artwork and a zebra rug without having a black lava lamp. I mean Seriously? 
Yeah, that didn't make sense to me either, but I was apparently wore down by this time. 
Of course, all this zebra-ness would make me happier if it stayed cleaner. This is about the cleanest that countertop ever gets...which is way below my standards. 
*breath Suz, breath*
{And yes that is a red bandana, Lindsay is part of the bloods, see why she gets away with so much?}

We re-did the girls' bathroom several weeks ago and yet this morning, I realized I was the actual trend setter here. I've had this rug in front of my tub for a few years.
Copy Cat kids.

Happy zebra Wednesday!

September 21, 2012

Saving some land space and helping those who deserve it most.

I know for sure this will be helpful for at least 4 of you.
Do you have old VHS video tapes laying around your home? Cluttering up your life? I did too!
If you just asked what a VHS tape is...go and play with your iPhone 5. 

A few years ago I declared that I was going to convert them all to DVD's and recycle them!
I did part of that.
That box of VHS tapes up above became this collection of DVD's. 
Did you know that VHS tapes will eventually fade away? 
Much like my energy and youthful appearance. 

For me this seemed to be one of those 'daunting, put off for as long as I can' tasks.
And really, it was painless.  

Costco offers this service, as well as a bunch of other places. But I used Costco since I go there weekly on occasion. 

 You fill out a form and enter some information AT the store about the tape you want to convert. It takes about 3 weeks and you have the DVD's back safely in your hands. Costco actually gives you TWO copies of each DVD. I keep a copy in our safe deposit box...right next to my hope diamond  passport.

They also send back your original VHS tapes too. Those puppies have been sitting in a box waiting for me to figure out how to dispose of them. You know that stuff is NOT going in the landfill. NoSireeBobCatTail!
So, I found two great ways to dispose of your old VHS tapes. (and other items as well)

{My brother's 50th anniversary edition of this will stay with me till the end}
 GreenDisk is a site that kept popping up while I was searching my query. They will dispose of your VHS tapes {as well as many other things} For a nominal fee.   (I fit a lot of VHS in a priority box. It if fits, it ships. Kinda cheap)
You also pay a fee for anything up to 30 lbs ($9.95) and then .35 cents for each additional pound. Seriously, you could dispose of a smallish body with them for a good price.

I mean, if I wanted to do such a thing. 

{Did you know this is one of my all time favorites?}
 Another wonderful service {and the one that I went with} is ACT
I can't stress enough how much I loved this group when I found it.
ACT is a non-profit private agency providing services to disabled individuals.

What they do in a nutshell: They help disabled peeps find employment.
And provide jobs for those who need it....and sometimes a job is not just a job, but making life more fulfilled. 
And this service is FREE!

{We had our Country phase, we lived in TX for heavens sakes}

About ACT:
Their Missouri headquarters and production floor employ over 50 people in erasing and repackaging donated video cassettes and floppy disks. By donating your old VHS tapes to ACT, you are not only saving money but you are also providing disabled individuals with career opportunities and helping them make their own money.

Does it get any better than that? NO...I don't think so.

{I really thought I would watch these one day with my Grandkids. 
Grandma? What is a videeeooo tape?}
Small steps can lighten the load on our landfills. 
Hopefully my Grandkids will thank least via text message.  
Or retina message. 
That is if my retina's have not been replaced by an Apple product. yet. 

Today, my conscience is clean. I mean it is green. 
So, are you feeling green just reading this?

Wishing you all a beautiful green and non-cluttered weekend!

September 17, 2012

Growing and Growling

I've been meaning to throw a little bit in here about my ever-growing Crape Myrtles.
I'm sure you all remember when I planted them back in May of 2009 in an effort to conceal our neighbors collection of crapola.

You did remember? You are cool like that!

May 2009; just little twigs!

I have good news! Our trees have been growing and so has my neighbors collection of crapola!
I'm kidding about the crapola. It may have actually diminished some. Or maybe that is my eyesight that has diminished. 

June 2010

All 20 of them are alive and well!

 July 2012
They don't look that huge in the photo...but a few of them are over 8 feet tall. That means they are 6 feet taller than me!  And they bloom beautifully...I hope I bloom one day as well. 
When does puberty start? I must have missed it because I think mental-pause is creeping in. 

And by mental-pause, I mean I want to strangle most everyone I encounter.
So, do you want to come over and see my trees? Or are the photos good enough for you?

I'm just kidding about the strangling part.
No really. I only felt the urge to strangle anyone/anything last week twice....and that was when I saw Christmas decorations/displays being set up.
I can feel the Christmas anxiety creeping in.

If you need me, I'll be out with my growing green-ness, sweating profusely and avoiding red mixed with green, silver and gold!

September 14, 2012

My Little Birdies work in the Helpful Department

This weekend while our friends were here the girls {Kelly & Heather} and I did what we do best. Criticise.
No, not that.
We shopped.
I'm not sure how the convo got started, but Kelly said she had never been to World Market before.
Heather and I gasped! 
I mean, that is pretty much a sin in my book. Have you been to World Market?

Are you a sinner?

I know you are even if you've shopped at World Market....or else you wouldn't get my humor. 
I am full of sinners' humor.
Anyhoo....we spent a good amount of time in the store and I think we each {in our imagination} redecorated 3 rooms in each of our homes.
Me? I saw the banquette/settee's right off the bat and 
 I sighed *I always wanted one of those at my kitchen table* And I sighed again.
I have to let you in on a little convo the Coach and I had last week that has nothing to do with my kitchen table. 

Me: I'm thinking about getting a bigger couch in the living room. The one we have is too small.
Coach: Who uses it? Hardly anyone, right?
Me: I sit in there all the time so I don't see the mess my people leave all over the family room. {The living room is always clean} Plus, we use it during Christmas and parties.
Coach: Well, I'm certainly not in charge of the "Furniture Department" here, so you do whatever you want, it won't bother me. 

Then I thought: What department is he in charge of? Automotive. Shipping/receiving. Softball. Direct paycheck deposit. Killing bugs.

Yeah, we all have our departments at home. Just like at work.

So anyhoo...The girls and I piddled around World Market for a while and sat on/touched just about everything.

Cut to my actual birthday; Monday.
The Coach comes home from work before we go out to dinner and drags in a huge box.
Guess what he got me.

 If you guessed a banquette/settee, you would be an A+ guesser. 
FYI, We like calling it a "settee" while  saying "settee" with a very snobbish French accent. 
Talking snobbish while in the comfort of your own home is simply delightful. 
{In my mind, I just said that above sentence in my French-Snobbish accent} 

Ozzie approves even though he is not allowed to join us on it.
I am the queen of the furniture department! I just crowned myself.

Do you sometimes feel like laying down after a good meal?

Well, this certainly cuts out the need to exert yourself by waddling all.the.way.over to the couch.
{Guess what show I am watching on Netflix}
Please pay no attention to the nekkid media cabinet...the top is being repaired. 

 I love it so much I can hardly stand it.
And after all this, can you stand me?
Well, my little birdies never tire of me....and they are so good at helping the Coach shop!
Here is a blog post a few years ago that shows this same area with our regular chairs, older light fixture, no window treatments and our out-of-date wall unit.
We've come a long way baby....and we don't even smoke those lady cigarettes!

Have a lovely weekend ya'll! If you need me, I'll be on my settee...

September 12, 2012

Getting my party on

I am such a lucky girl. I take that back, I am such a lucky OLD girl!
Some of my oldest (well, they are older than me) and dearest friends drove over from the East coast for my birthday weekend.

Dinner out on Saturday night. 
I was not feeling great...and it shows on my face. I'm fighting some sort of head cold virus.
Most likely it is the bubonic plague.
 I don't want to be dramatic and worry everyone, so I'm going to search my symptoms on the internet.

Guess what?
Our friends Kelly and Don got me a boxer puppy!!
 Cocoa was IN love with him instantly!

 This baby has a foot fettish. If you stop moving, he sit's on your feet. Ozzie didn't know what to think. Then again, thinking is not a favorite sport of Ozzie's. 
 What do you think we should name him?
Oh never mind....they took him home with them on Sunday. 
That's it, I'm shopping for new friends!!!
Just kidding. It has taken me 25 years to get these two trained...why start over?

PJ and Heather brought their puppy son Super Boy with them. He is turning 3 this weekend!
It was just yesterday that Heather shocked us all by becoming impregnated. Surprised much? YES!

He is living up to his nickname. {super boy} He can fly!!

 And his smile melts Aunt Suz's heart!
All in all it was a lovely birthday weekend for me. Next year, when I turn 45 again, I hope it is just as good. I have wonderful friends, a wonderful family and even wonderful dogs!!!

Of course, I could not leave out what fabulous blog friends I have. Thank you all for your sweet notes .....I feel special. And not in that weird/creepy kind of way either. 

 I can't wait to share with you my gift from the Coach....his sweetness never ceases to amaze me. I'm a lucky old girl!

September 06, 2012

Goings on: I am *someone*

*Someone* got to kayak for the first time ever last Friday. Leave it to my funny friend to de-virginize me; it was painless. The common theme for us: Laughter. Luckily no one could 'kick' us out of this place for laughing loudly or too much. 

"And if we were in the Olympics, I would be winning right now."
I Only said *that* when I was ahead of her. If she was ahead of me, there was not a "pretend" olympics going on.
My imagination. My rules.

Some{dog}one turned 7 this week.

No party, no cake...but lots of love, belly rubs, kisses and a tiara.
The lifespan of a tiara in our house is 13 seconds.

*Someone* turns 45 next week. She expects love, kisses, back rubs and a cake.
I don't even like cake, but I require one each time my digits get bigger.
Um, I do believe that puts me in a different demographic. Well, at least it does if I'm taking a survey.
Check your age box:
45-The end.
Survey says: Start over!

I used to think 45 was "old."
Now I think it is "really really old".

Well, unless you are older than me, then it is perfectly acceptable.
And by acceptable, I mean it beats the alternative!

Have a great weekend everyone. Have a glass of wine and a piece of cake in my honor.
Oh,  in Cocoa's honor, lick your butt,  chase a squirrel up a tree, then sit there for hours thinking you are smarter than a squirrel.

Well, maybe just do my honors this weekend.

September 03, 2012

Feeding the blog

Last week while driving in the car, Lindsay says to me: 
Did you know Neil Armstrong died?
Me: yes.
her: That is so sad.

Me: Yes, but honey, he was 82 years old...he lived a long and full life.
Her {with a confused face} He was THAT old? I had no idea....

Me: {Lightbulb over my head} Um, you might be thinking of Lance Armstrong; the bicyclist.
Her: Oh.....ummmmm.....yeah.

Me:  You just love to give me good blog fodder don't you?
Her: Yep, I am food for your blog with my stupidity.

Of course, this is not stupidity...this is blond-itity...there is a difference.