I'm shocked that you forgot...but a nice log cabin will make up for it all.

Ok, I'm a little shocked that I forgot.
Last week I had my 5 year blog-oversary.
Five.
I started this little baby to keep my Mom up to date.
You know, having a blog is free, but those phone calls add up!

Who knew I would meet people who I actually like?

Blogging and blogging friends have opened up my eyes to a lot of things.
Raising chickens for instance.
No, I've not raised any, but I have had dreams that I did.
I envy you chicken raisers.
The Coach and I have had many conversations about raising chickens.
Instead of doing it, we went to Costco and bought a bunch of eggs.

And don't get me started on the cooking and the home-improving.
My.eyes.have.been.opened.
Thank you for all of that.

I have made some long lasting friendships; you are some very special people.
You know who you are; your notes and comments always brighten my day.

I've met a few of you in person.
I'm sure you can attest that I'm even better in person.
Hard to imagine.
But go ahead, attest already.

You lurkers? I'm not so sure about you.
Everyday, the same ones visiting me. I know nothing about you except you are consistent.
You could be teddy bear wearing, underwater basket weaving ex-convicts living in your Mom's basement for all I know.
And that is exactly how I imagine you.

Five years is a big deal in case you didn't know.
A traditional 5 year anniversary gift would be wood.
So, I'm thinking a nice sailboat? You can choose the color of my sail.

If you prefer to go modern,  that would mean you'll get me silverware.
Hey, lets not get so modern, stick with traditional. I've got enough silverware.

Oh wait, I don't even want a sailboat.
You know what I want?
A log cabin. That is all wood.

I'll even give you a few choices.

This is pretty. 

But I might need a housekeeper. Once I retire, I'm retiring from cleaning. I might not even shower myself. I'll have a personal shower-er. (Preferably a blind shower-er)

Photo borrowed from here

This is quite sweet.

But, it might be too small for the Coach and I. I still need my space. I hope to NOT hear football games, UFC fights or prison shows blaring from his TV.

Photo borrowed from here

This might be the perfect combo said Goldilocks.  

I love the front porch. I could sit there and have some peace and quiet.....and also, I could boss someone around from there too. 

This is actually Jack Hanna's cabin....I hope he takes all his critters with him after you buy this for me. 

Photo borrowed from here

Ok, so I'll be expecting you guys to pull together your funds and kick Jack Hanna out of my cabin.

Thank you very much!

Ok, that might be asking too much.
How about you promise to recycle all plastic and Styrofoam for the duration of your life.
Then we'll be even!

***

FYI: I wrote a really cute post this week, but Blogger decided not to let it be published. 

Has anyone else had issues with the publishing portion of blogger?

I actually wanted to shank someone....not a surprise there. 

I know it is not politically correct, but I wish people came with labels.

Has anyone else watched the series Top Of The Lake? I had not heard of it until I saw Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men) on one of my favorite indulgences Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens on Bravo. 

Anyhoo's the series peaked my interest;  mostly because I could watch the entire season at once. And since I seem to ONLY watch an entire series of shows now in lieu  of one a week, I searched for it on netflix.

It is a great series, very intense with some weird characters.  I'm a fan of weird.
I watched it over the course of a few weeks.

(I do most of my tv viewing while exercising, so I can justify it completely)

{being in the vicinity of my weights & bike IS exercising right?}

The funny thing about this show was that I had a hard time understanding the characters when they spoke. I kept saying to myself and out loud. 
I don't get British-speak. Why do the English talk so darn funny?

My inner self replied: Because they are not from these parts!
My inner self is judgemental and kind of b*tchy.

I would have to rewind a few times each episode to try and figure out what the heck they were saying.

Then I noticed some of the characters kept mentioning to another:

"You should go back to Sydney."

"Things are better for you in (and?) Sydney."

Me thinking: Who the heck IS this Sydney character, I haven't seen her!!

Then one day (after episode 5) I googled the show to get some information on it and realized they were not speaking British.

Wait for it.

They were in New {freakin'}  Zealand.

If you have seen any of this show, you can tell from the gorgeous views that it is NOT England.

Me? It took some time.

Not only did I have the wrong country, I was on the wrong flippin' continent!

**

This reminded me of a little funny from a few years ago.
My friend Dawn and I were volunteering at a huge band function. We had a walkie-talkie and had to communicate with another parent that was located across the school to coordinate bands coming and going off the field.

I had a hard time understanding this man and I asked Dawn:
What country is he from?

Dawn:
RHODE ISLAND!


Nope, you can't get anything past me.


XO

Her Last First and Her First Gunfight

Can you believe that our little Lindsay started her senior year of high school? I say "our" because a lot of you have been reading my blog since she was knee-high to a grasshopper.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. They don't make grasshoppers that big.

This was her when I started blogging almost 5 years ago:

 I'm just kidding, that was her in 2002. She will hate this picture; we were at Sea World waiting for her sister to get off that water ride behind us. As she stood next to the railing one of her teeth fell out and disappeared into the mulch.  Just like freaking magic. It was so funny and bizarre!

Last first day of high school~~August 19th, 2013

She should thank me, I gave up 14 years of vitamins to pay for her braces. 

I'm sad that this is her last year of free school. But I'm happy for her....Her future is so bright, she has to hold up deuces a peace sign. 

Also this week Lolo started her third year of college. 

Didn't she just graduate last week?

She is staying at home and commuting because she doesn't want me to miss her.

 Truthfully, we've made things so nice here...she doesn't want to leave. Ever. 

Her books for her Tuesday classes:

Do you see the book on the top? 

Gunfighter nation, Myth of the Frontier in Twentieth Century America.

It is a class that studies Western Movies. 

For-serious.

And guess what else.
Guess!

Her professor is from the middle East. How cool is that?
Middle East and Western Cinema. This is why I love our country so much!

She needed an alternate class and this one fit into her time slot. 

I saw the list of movies they are going to watch and discuss; I only recognized a few of them. 

Most of them are from the 50's and we all know I was born in the 80's  70's.

Ok, the late. late. late 60's!

Time is flying and the times or a' changing!

XOXO

Reptiles, Big Birds and Dog Butts~Oh' My!

Saturday morning the Coach and I loaded up the ol' clunker with a change of clothes and a couple of mutts. 

Feel lucky that this is not a 'smellovision' blog because that breath right there would be the death of you.  

(Ozzie, not Coach!)

We drove until we reached my In-laws home at Lake Okeechobee.  My FIL Bill; you can also call him the canine magnet!

 My first bit of business was getting some exercise. I took the paddle boat out for a little spin. I must have went 40 miles yards. I was kinda tired. The parking of the paddle boat took longer than that actual 40 miles yards.  Turns out parking of a vehicle is not my only parking issue. 

The kids (ours + boyfriends) arrived later in the evening. Some people have to actually work on weekends. Sucks to be them. 

There was a lot of swinging going on....

And some reading too. 

How about a boat ride for Cocoa everyone? At this point, Ozzie opted to stay in the house with the a/c. He is as spoiled as I am. 

The crew!

We spotted an osprey. We went back and forth: Is it an eagle? Is it a hawk? An osprey? Finally Bill and I decided it was an osprey. I dare you to argue because Bill and I both watch animal planet. 

Cocoa had a moment of bravery and moved to the front of the yacht deck boat. 

Coach's awesome Mom has a manatee mailbox. And YES, she changes out the decorations. SHE is awesome like that. {No manatee's were injured in the making of this mailbox}

This is the neighborhood iguana. Do you see him on the seawall here? Bill and I got fairly close for this photo and then he jumped into the water. The iguana, not Bill. 

Before we knew it, the Coach and I had to depart. The kiddo's left a few hours later. I insisted on a family photo...because I love insisting on stuff. We insisted Lolo stop fishing for a minute for this photo. 

Another great weekend under our belts....I love my people!!!

So tell me, did your weekend include dog photo bombs, huge birds, strange reptiles, unique mailboxes or wonderful people who you adore??

Is it just me, or does it smell like worms in here?

In my effort to UP the game of my compost I ordered earth worms from a dealer. Did you know there were earth worm dealers? Not even on a street corner....they have websites!!!

I was so excited about this...and that is very weird on my part. I'm a full grown woman damnit.
But hey, worms do it for me.

On the same day a box also arrived from Soma with a new dress for me...guess which box I was MORE excited about??
Yep, worms!

And from the looks of this box...it's been to heck and back. I actually worried about the health of my wigglers. 

Then again, once I opened the box....I couldn't bring myself to open the actual bag of worms. 

{What? NO CAN?} My dealer of choice was none other than Uncle Jim's worm farm. 

 I let the box/bag sit on my countertop until the Coach came home. What? I sanitized later....Coach gently (dropped) the worms with their packaging material into my compost. 

Seriously, they are gorgeous red wigglers.

Don't tell me you've seen finer. 

***

And in the MORE IMPORTANT NEWS category, my Cuz Patrick is having a birthday tomorrow!!!

Everyone please say Happy Birthday to my Cuz Patrick.

He is going to be 31!!!!


Somehow he is catching UP to me.
Here he is with my Uncle Jim. NOT to be confused with the worm farmer Uncle Jim. 

Patrick reads my blog daily....and really...he hasn't the time. This young man holds down TWO jobs!!

And a bonus for him this year is he is achieving a major level of independence. He is moving out from the prison cushy comfort of my Aunt and Uncles house into a better pad suited to a handsome young man. 

We couldn't be happier OR prouder of him. 

Please take a moment and leave a nice note for my favorite cuz Patrick. 

{don't tell my other cousins Chris, Will, Dan, Heather, Sean or Ian}

TGIF Ya'll!!! Do something non-wormy this weekend.

XOXO

Me talk pretty

There are a few words that I continually mix up; I get tongue tied....and not in a good way. 

It reminds me of my childhood; Me talking and people laughing at me. Ok, maybe they only laughed a few times.

For the life of me, I could not say the word certificate until I was 16.

Birth certificate. Gift certificate. 

The words came out a jumbled mess.

Fer-cificate. Ter-ficatate. ?? What the hey?

And then there was the time I could not find the word PLAID in my brain...so I said to my family: 

You know, stripes going this way and stripes going that way. 

(I used my hands to help these helpless people understand me)

As I get older the challenging words have changed.   

You know that popular brand of sportswear that keeps you cool in the heat and warm in the cold?

Yeah, ArmorAll.

Not to be confused with the stuff I clean my car with.

Under Armor.

See. That makes perfect sense. TO ME.

The other day one of the kids said something about an apprentice. 

Me: You mean like the wizard ones at Warthogs? 

I was laughed at. Again. 

Just so you know, these critters are not Hogwarts....dems are warthogs. 

Several times a day I can't find the word I'm looking for...but in my head I can see a few letters of the mystery word? 

Does that make sense?

Me: {with my eyes in the directions of the heavens for guidance} Ummm....Oh, I can't think of what the word is, but I see a C and an N and a Y in there.

Yeah, I'm the Southwest Florida medium; line forms to the right people...you can pay me in nail polish and wine. 

BTW: The word was canyon.

Am I alone on this? 

If this, combined with walking into a room and completely forgetting why I'm there means I have early dementia....then I'm in deep do-doo. 

Summer Favorites

I know it's not nice to pick favorites, but who said I have to be nice all the time?

Toe polish: 
{Essie-Bottle service} 

Scorching Neon Fuchsia; that makes me happy

Wrinkled feet courtesy of my favorite pool. 

Thing to eat:
quinoa. I've been using this in variations of salads...and I love it.

{Yes, Ozzie is my favorite photo bomber}

Thank you to Claudia for bringing it to my attention.

BTW: Claudia is my fave food blogger!!

Place:
 Charleston

I'm thankful the Coach thought to go here...we enjoyed ourselves. 

My favorite youtube video.
This cracks me up....and confirms why I find instagram so annoying. 

My favorite comment from last week: 

"Cute photo booth pics! Our jello shots have Geritol in them!"

That was Mildred in regards to the Jello shot party. 

I'm only able to blog a few times a week....but I always look forward to your funny comments. Without comments, I'd throw in the jello  towel. 

Any summer favorites you'd care to share?  
Sharing is caring, so not sharing is kinda rude. 

XOXO

This one time, we were invited to a party

Last weekend the Coach and I were invited to a 50th birthday party. 

Yeah, the coach knows OLD people. ;0

I don't know why, but people don't throw as many parties as they used to. 

Could it be they are just not inviting us? nahhh.....everyone is just getting lazy, including me; I skipped our annual Christmas cocktail party this past year. 

No, I didn't skip the cocktail part, just throwing the party part. 

Anyhoo, this was a fun event. Annnnddd......they had a photo booth. 

You know that I want my own photo booth now don't you?

Coach's Dad and wife. I heart them both. 

 Would you believe this was before the jello shots?

 Did you know they put alcohol in JELLO SHOTS?

Someone is channeling his inner pimp here. 

Me? I'm Kanye; give me the stage dammit. 

Would you believe I am a jello-ist? I don't.do.jello.

Please don't call Bill Cosby on me. 

But I DO do fun. 

And fun was had. 

I even talked someone into dancing with me. 

Did you know that dancing takes a lot of energy? 

No wonder strippers are so thin.

Hey, it's Friday. Where's the party? 

Spill the jello beans.

Our Island Time

We have lived on the West coast of Florida for 16 years and for 16 years I've wanted to visit Sanibel-Captiva Island. 

But for heavens sakes....it is an 1 1/2 hours away!

Never mind the fact that I've been to Europe, Costa Rica (x2) and various places across the U.S...

I could only focus on where I haven't been. 

 {kidding}

 Sadly, Lolo had to work, but Linds was able to entice a girlfriend to join us.
She wasn't hard to entice by the way. 

We spent our first day by the pool. Mostly in the kiddie pool because it was covered with shade.

Did you know my child wears sassy pants? She also wears sassy bikini's.....and is sassy whenever possible. When I got my camera out, she grabbed the nearest beer can. 

 {empty beer can, not emptied by sassy underaged drinker}

We had a view of the bay from our room. Which was great until I realized the rooms across from us had a view of the Gulf. Now, I'm angered. {not really} 

 We joined our friends from the east coast...you know the famous ones with the awesome superboy. 

 Captiva island is gorgeous. 

But doesn't that look like a monkey in this photo? I wish I had paid more attention....maybe it was a rare captiva monkey. 

 Believe this to be true....if you aren't in the shade or in the water, your skin will go up in flames from the sun and your insides will melt from the dire humidity. 

So,  you have to sit in the pool or the gulf. 

 And then seek shade of a tree or umbrella. Take my advice...it's free and honest. 

Would you believe that I ate shrimp and grits. Again? We might need to have an intervention soon. 

Our last night....we watched the day end. 

 Day is done....

 gone the sun.

 Your favorite couple. ever. The Coach had to work both of the days we were there, so he commuted the hour back and forth to his office. He's cool like that. 

So we are DONE with traveling for the summer. Linds starts band camp {dance} next week and then school ensues for both.
I vote to make summer break about 6 months longer. Who's with me?