March 29, 2012

It's about her. But mostly it's about me.

Kids these  fancy; grandiose.
Dress pants, shoes and a tie....donning red roses no less. 

I was opposed to her to attending prom in the 10th grade, and she knew this.
Do you think this sign was really aimed at the Mama???
Of course it is....those boys are always after me under the guise that they love my daughters.

Lo went to two proms and every homecoming during her four years. Linds has been to two homecoming dances and now a prom in her future.

Enough about her.

Did I ever mention that I never attended one dance in high school? Not even a football game. I know you are so shocked, because it seems that I am a social butterfly!

I ALMOST made it to my senior prom, but the boy I was dating turned into a big jerk minutes after I ordered my prom dress out of the Sear's catalog. {Thank you Grandma!}
I ended up returning the dress and getting 2 bikinis and some cash.

Obviously, I spent all my cash on eyeshadow. Luckily, my vision wasn't impaired by the weight of the powder. yet. 

Enough about me.

Since the invention of the Disney channel tween shows, it is not enough to just 'ask' someone to prom. You have to make a big statement. OR you are lame. {Why can't she date a lame guy who I could tell no to?}

Back to me.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here before, but The Coach never actually asked me to marry him.
I know what you are thinking.... yes, we are really married. You see, we dated 6 years and talked about getting married, we KNEW we would get married...and the day {Christmas Eve} he was trying to hide my ring from me, I saw it and called him out.
{Ok, I snatched the box from his hand, I used to be grabby}

There was never an actual proposal.

The first and last time I ever fed him. He's a grown man...he can feed himself.

I mentioned this non-proposal out loud to the kids one day, and he quickly denied it. But, really, wouldn't I remember that? I still remember what he was wearing on our first date {blind}, along with other important things like how he forgot to put the toilet seat down on March 14th, 1992 @ 8:58pm.

Since we are about to celebrate 21 years of legally annoying each other, it's obvious that the non-proposal thing didn't really mean a thing.

Back to her.

How can she go to prom? It was just 2 weeks ago that she was sleeping in a laundry basket. 

So, did you have a big proposal for prom or any other slightly significant event in your life? Please share.
I hope you have something soooo wonderful and over the top to share, that I'll want to hunt you down and shank you.

Have a beautiful weekend!!

March 26, 2012

Can a cat swallow a canary?

If you ever get the chance, you should be me.
At least you should be me this past was all good in the hood. I didn't even have to leave my house after Friday afternoon!

Thankfully, I was able to get the correct orange cat into the carrier and to the vet on Friday. This Harley is a crazy *ss cat. Well, they are all crazy, but he is on the weird side of crazy.

First of all, if you have a cat, you know the worst part of taking the cat to the vet is the traveling part.  ...THE CRYING in the car is loud and endless...wahhh wahhh wahhh....mroow mroow mrooooow.... so annoying.
Finally, I stopped crying and I tried to act like a grown up.
Hard. very very hard.

I warned them at the reception desk:  "I'm not gonna lie, he looks cute and sweet, but he DOES bite."

They all looked scared, but they deal with crazy pets all the time.

And when we got into the exam room...they let him out of his cage, myself and the two vet techs stepped back,  prepared for a rustle,  a tussle, a crazy cat tango resulting in a few bloody nubs.

And what did my crazy *ss cat do?

He posed on the countertop for 40 minutes.  40 freakin' minutes!!!!
10 minutes of prep with the tech's, followed by quiet time waiting for the Dr. and time while the Dr. was there.


Bastid. Made me look like an overreactive drama queen.

When the Dr. looked at his boo boo paw, she said: "Weird"

Um, really, did you learn that term at veterinarian school? Was it during your first year, or your 6th?

{Who knew? I could be a VET TOO!!}

We determined that he most likely stepped in pool chemicals.....a burn of sorts.

She asked if I would like to give him an antibiotic pill daily for 14 days {when she was saying this, I was dying inside picturing me trying to get him to swallow a pill without murdering me} OR she could give him an injection.

Guess what he got?
I ain't no dummy.

I am also putting a bit of hydrogen peroxide on it a few times daily too.

The Dr. said taking a relaxant prior to the hydrogen peroxide swab would help.
And BOY does it.
Of course, I've been taking numerous naps because of that relaxant.

I've got more to share...but I've errands to run.
And by errands, I mean napping.

Happy monday!!!

Ok, I'm really not going to nap. I DO have errands to run. Hopefully I will get some blog reading in later today too...I am SO behind.


March 23, 2012

This and That.

Is it just me, or is everyone getting on my nerves?

I've not met a geranium that I didn't like. 

I think they like me as well....they have really good taste!


A funny status update I read on Facebook recently:

I sware I hate stupid people!

Yes, it was a teenager...of course, NOT one of my teenagers!

I read that and I said out loud: Oh, you poor deer. 

I mean you poor dear!


I have to take an orange cat to the vet today. {Boo boo paw}
I brought out the carrier yesterday to prepare for the vet event. Every visit to the vet is an event.

 This is NOT the orange cat that is going to the vet today.
 This is also NOT the cat going to the vet today.

What do you think the chances of me getting the ACTUAL orange cat who needs to visit the vet into the carrier today?

Are you staring at my tomatoes?

Wishing you all a fun and relaxing weekend....hopefully with no visits to the vet or interactions with stoopid people.  Tomatoes for everyone!!!!!


March 19, 2012

H*ll on wheels.

I am positive that this has crossed your mind at least 46 times since Wednesday: "I wonder what that sweet little Suzanne is up to?"
And I really appreciate that you refer to me as sweet. And little. Cause I don't feel little...although I am as sweet as a king sized Reese's cup!
Really though, you guys should start paying attention to those who are residing with you instead of me. But then again, I am in dire need of attention and your people are fine.
Did I ever tell you that as a child I never got any attention? Ok, I got attention ONE time...climbing up on the roof top will do that. Of course, my Brother got in trouble for it...that's how it goes.

Why did I title this H*ll on Wheels?

I am writing this post as the Coach is driving us home from a weekend away. IF you've ever been in a car while he was driving you would understand. I pretty much just close my eyes and pray. I am praying that everyone gets out of our way. :) Of course, the Coach will tell you he has not had an accident in 25 years...and that is true. My theory is this: ALL the accidents happen behind know after we have passed you and you and you and you and you.

We traveled over this bridge 3 times this weekend.
It is way taller than it looks in this photo. I don't like tall. I don't like doing TALL and fast at the same time!
I imagined we were flying off here....just like in a Mission Impossible scene. And I don't even like Mission Impossible.  {My mac is not waterproof}

While Lindsay was away for her band trip, {She had a great time in Nawlins!} We were empty nesters. So, what did we do with our empty nest time?

We loaded up the car and headed to watch Lo's softball team play! I know, so romantic!

Run Lolo Run.

For so many years, I watched Lo play well as watched Coach 'coach' from behind the fence. We are not separated by the fence any longer..the Coach is right beside me. And I like it.  Don't fence me in. Or out. 

Oversized Osprey lodge. The osprey was out getting some dinner. 

Of course, Lo, being the low man on the totem poll, she does not get much play time. She knew that coming in. In theory it sounds ok, but in reality, she has moments of total boredom. Life is a learning experience.

I love green parks!!!
 Recycling makes me giddy.

In High school she was the BIG fish in a little pond and now, she is the little minnow in a sea of big athletes. You've heard that comparison right?

Not my softball girl...but a cute softball girl just the same.

Well, she is hanging in there. Doing what she needs to do and trying to enjoy herself.
She makes me so proud...she really is a great young lady. And I use the term lady loosely...only because she IS my child! Of course, I could not be happier spending my time with her or her sister. I tend to enjoy the people that I make.
I do wish I had made more people, cause they are my favorites.
You can quote me on that one.

Don't let the sun go down on this game. Oh, actually, DO let the sun go down, it's melting my retinas!

I'm still getting used to my new 55mm lens....sometimes I love it, and sometimes I wonder what I was thinking.  {Thanks for making me wonder Mark!} I dropped it on Friday night... It bounced 2 times and I held my breath for 2 minutes. It survived. And then I wondered where the heck I left my brain.

DaNaNaNaNa......Bat girl. 

All in was a great weekend for us all. Ok, perhaps Lo didn't have the best weekend...but she did get to spend some time with her life givers.
The Coach and I had fun....I enjoyed my time away from the house. (the washing machine did miss me!)

I slept in a bed that I did not make. I showered in a tub that I did not wash. I ate food that I did not cook.
Life is good.  Go me!

How was your weekend? Did you really think about me as much as I hoped you did?

C'mon. Sharing is caring!

March 14, 2012

I need to take it down a notch. Or twenty seven.

Place a big star on the calendar, because a momentous occasion has happened.
I've had nothing to blog about for at least 6 days. Of course, I could have made up some stuff like the weather is blah blah blah. But I won't. And I didn't.
Blah blah blah.

This has not happened in like forever.
Don't you dislike it when people say 'like' all the time? I do.
And now, I've like totally written it.
Bad. Bad I tell you.

I can tell you this too.
My job is going great.
I am useful. I am needed.
Of course, you knew the useful and needed part, but I kinda forgot it myself.
Tis' nice to hear it from someone other than those who share my genes. and my bed.
Gosh,  I wish I could share Jeans with Lo and Linds. NOT with the coach though, he can have his own.

You know what cracks me up?
Mom jeans.
Especially Mom jeans on a man.
Or mom shorts on a man. Dad shorts?
Oh lord. That is enough to make someone pee their jeans. {their Mom jeans of course}

BTW: When I googled 'Dad jeans" I found mostly photos of this kinda famous guy:
 Now, I'll never look at the Prez without thinking: Mom Jeans!

Have I told you lately that I have the bestest garden on the planet?
Well, that would be a big fat lie.
I detest liars.
BUT I Do like people who exaggerate. They inspire me.
My garden is so lovely! IT is the best garden. {that I've got}

Do you know that I usually only have ONE cup of coffee in the morning?
Guess how many I've had today?
Two and a half.

Watch out.

Someone is going on a band trip to Nawlins. I prefer to call it 'Old Orleans'.

 She's with the band.
Her instrument? her legs. 

Bourbon street? ....geeze, if that kid comes home with gobs of beads, she is OUT of the BAND!
They are marching in the St. Patty's day parade. I hope she does not come across too many drunk people....but then again, we did take her to Vegas this summer. She's seen it all. almost.

They are traveling by bus. *sigh*
Have I ever told you that I have an unnatural fear of riding in a bus? It might be from all the trips on the greyhound as a child, or perhaps the years of being bussed to school.
I loathe buses. {No offense Rosa Parks.} I have dreams of them flipping over while I'm traveling.
I can't travel with the band.
I'd make everyone miserable.
Plus, I'd get more beads than the freshmen and that's not really fair.

And if I want to visit Nawlins and get all those beads, I'd have to fly. I'd rather not fly if I can avoid it. So, I'm staying home and avoiding a lot of things right now.

I don't think I've ever ingested bourbon. It really sounds gross. NOT like wine. Wine sounds good.
Is it too early for wine?

I'm thinking that I should not take so many blog breaks, it just makes me ramble like a crazy person.
Or maybe that's the coffee talking.

March 09, 2012

Girls + Boys + Family = artillery?

Lately, I'm finding it a challenge to come up with stuff to write that will give me less and less commenters.
This should do it.

This morning, while driving to school someone {who shall remain nameless} was digging in her purse for chapstick and pulled out something totally out of the ordinary. Not to mention, unsanitary as heck.

She said: the heck did this get in here?
It was discarded out the window, and then we both busted out laughing.
Can you guess what it was?
I'll not keep you in suspense for too long.


My FIL and his wife had a big party this past weekend. Ya'll should have been music, seafood cooked  every which way, fun people like me....just fabulous.
{home-made hush puppies!}

Linds and Cousin Bryan. {Puddin'}
Anyhoo....Lindsay brought her newest beau to the party. As soon as we got out of the car, my FIL walked to the new beau, stuck out his hand to greet him and said: 
You've got a beard, you are too old for my Grandaughter"

I didn't even have to look at Lindsay...I could hear her eyes rolling already.  Just 40 minutes prior, I was explaining to the new Beau that I know how to shoot a gun. Yeah, we are like that; threatening.
{I refrained form showing him my shank collection. Are you proud of me?}

So later on in the party, my FIL comes out wearing this shirt for all to see:
"Guns don't kill people, Grandpas with pretty Grandaughter's DO"

That is a true story.

Speaking of Beau's, Lolo's B-friend is home again for 2 weeks, we have all missed him. 

  Linds and her 'big Brother'
After this visit he is being shipped off to Jolly old England for two years. He will be home every six months for a visit though.....and we are thankful that he is going to England and NOT the desert! I just hope he likes his tea with crumpets.

Ok, did you almost forget about the disgusting item found in someones purse? {NOT MINE!!!}
It starts with TOE and ends with NAIL.

Gag me. Gag you. Gag everyone!

Have a great weekend doing whatever it is you do when I'm not around. Oh, and give yourself a pedicure...those toes are looking a bit ragged. :)

I'm off to clean out my car and my purse....someone has made me paranoid about what I might find!


March 07, 2012

And it only took me 24 days~

Can you stand anymore gardening photos/posts?
Well, then move on...scatter!

Oh, I see some of you do love me and my garden.
I feel the same way.
about me. and my garden. 

Just kidding.

February 11, 2012 {such an immature garden!}

a few days ago! {A semi-mature garden. ON the brink of giving birth!}

"I've asked you to lettuce alone"

Baby tomatoes coming out the ying yang. Yes, that is MIGHTY uncomfortable. 
But just as in worth it. 
Of course, with childbirth, you don't realize how worth it is until the drugs wear off..... 
in 9 years.  

Isn't fresh grown food romain-tic?

 If I find out she likes salad fixings....she will have a large boot print on her derriere. 

I'm off to find some large boots.

Seriously, what can YOU do in 24 days? 

Typically, in 24 days I can grow out of 2 pairs of pants, lose 4 socks in the laundry, fill the change jar with 47 cents and clean the lower half of the glass doors 6 times!

My life is to be admired.
Go ahead, admire on.


March 05, 2012

If there was a calling for a professional rambler, I'd have my application turned in first.

I've been really busy lately. Did I tell you I won the lottery? Well, I did, and I am busy as heck spending money so I've not been blogging so much. Plus, I am recovering from the face lift, liposuction and the lip implants. What else would I DO with all my winnings?

Yeah, right.

I'd never get lip implants.

And I hardly ever purchase lottery tickets, but a girl can dream.

Recently,  I took a sunset portrait class, and it included a real live model shoot at sunset. 
Go figure.
These photos are for her {THE MODEL} to use...but I get to share them as well on my 'website'
Is a blog a website? I'll have to check into that one.

Our sunset on this particular day was not great. Which is really sad, because we generally have fantastic sunsets. The sunsets are our paybacks for having to run our a/c for 360 days a year.
Anyhoo...the model was fantastic. And I know modeling. I didn't suffer through hours and hours of America's next top model while the girls were enthralled with the glamorous life of modeling.
{Gag me with a vial of coke and a cigarette.}

Can you believe she is 40? I want to be from Romania in my next life....apparently life is so good there, you don't seem to age.

We are almost done with the renovation of the playroom. We've eliminated two desks, and many I am again moving things around. I realized I was collecting TOO much crapola in the craft room cabinets. So I've been making room to move stuff from the playroom to the craft/laundry room.

You  might think this is the before photo. But you'd be wrong.
 This is the before:
Have you ever heard the phrase: "The more space you have, the more junk you keep?"

This is true for me and our house.
Of course, my junk is very special and it is hard to part with.

I sound really pompous throwing around words like playroom and craft room. I'll never discuss here my gift wrapping room(s).

Today, we are starting on phase II of this newest reno.

I remember my Grandma coming over to our house one day and she stated:
"It is much easier to keep a large house than a small one."

My mom and I looked at each other quizzically...because my Grandma always had a very small house.
I suppose she learned this housekeeping stuff from watching Dynasty and Dallas.

{I miss my G'ma and her funny lines!}

Softball season is upon us!
Sadly, Lolo is not playing....she is dealing with a hip injury. Yet, she is still smiling.
She is like Shakira, her hips don't lie either.

They've been traveling the last few weekends....Friday-Sunday. Between classes/softball and re-hab (for her hip, not the other re-hab) she won't ever get to a keg party.

College isn't like it was when I wasn't there.

But I did learn a good amount of life skills at Beauty College. Such as, don't trust people with pink/spikey hair to give you a normal haircut.

And no, I never had pink hair.

We had a great weekend hanging out and attending a great party too!
How about you? Anything to ramble on about today?