April 30, 2014

So, how do they get the milk out of it?

After a full day of busyness at home, {cleaning, exercising, gardening, laundry, organizing, bill paying, future planning} Lolo and I settled in to watch the most recent episode of Game Of Thrones.
{You know my day isn't complete without beheadings, pillaging or a massacre or two}

Around 10:15 we were both heading to bed when I noticed the three cats finally playing together on the lanai….then I remembered: our cats DON'T PLAY TOGETHER because they are CAT HATERS.
Which is ironic.
Upon closer inspection, they were torturing a poor {juvenile sized}innocent snake; similar to the Game Of Thrones episode I've just watched.

Lolo and I  spent a good 10 minutes saving this poor snake from the felines.
All the while saying: Is it a corn snake? Is it a coral snake? 

Then we were going over that silly saying: black touches yellow, kill a fellow, red touches yellow kill a fellow….black touches yellow and then I was thinking of that crazy rap song black and yellow-black and yellow…when a better old rap song intruded….I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie. The hip, hop a hop, and you don't stop, a rock to the bang bang boogie, say up jump the boogie….to the rhythm of the boogie…the beat. 

See, I'm easily distracted. And I love the classic music.
Most moments usually end up with me singing an old song and looking like an a-hole.
An a-hole with rhythm.
Picture borrowed from the internet-our snake was much smaller, but just as colorful. 

Finally Lolo determined it was a milk snake.
So, THIS is there where milk comes from?
Well, someone has some 'splainin to do. I couldn't even see any udders!
Anyhoo. We saved a snake. Again.
But if you ask the snake, he probably would have rather endured 'death by cats' than to hear me rapping.

April 29, 2014

Pooh here and pooh there.

Our Saturday morning started with the pooh being scared out of me.
And no, not the Winnie The Pooh kind of pooh.

My sweet as heck nephew Bryan was involved in a head-on collision early that morning, and for an hour or so, I wasn't sure what his condition was.
I was getting bits and pieces from the news and you know who reliable they are. Not so much.
Thank the good lord he survived…physically he will heal, emotionally, it will take time. He was/is so very lucky.
I just could not imagine our life without him.
Life is fleeting.
Life is so very precious.
I'm so thankful he is still here that I might not threaten to shank him for at least a year.
Or six months. Whichever comes first.
Bryan is just a little guy….with a big personality. 

Our calendars are already filled up with grad parties here and there, squeezing in necessary volunteer hours, final exams, work and a doctors visit or two. I have lists scattered here and there regarding guests, announcements, shopping, to-do and to- don't. 
Ok, I don't actually write a to-don't list….that would be weird.

Any non-drama happening in your neck of the woods?

April 24, 2014

My Sanity is a terrible thing to waste; plus I look terrible in orange.

Does anyone else get so frustrated with peeling an onion that they contemplate throwing the thing out the window without opening the window first?

What about dogs that want to be under your feet?
And cats that want to eat daily?
And phones that like to ring and ping and ping and ring?

And what about slow internet speed? I thought I was going to lose my mind while trying to put together Lindsay's graduation announcements….the laptop was THIS close to going into the pool for a swim.

Perhaps it's just my PMS symptoms flaring up. And when I say flaring up, I'm referring to the FLAMES that were shooting out of my ears. 

Death was close for anyone in my vicinity a couple of days ago.

I'm thinking I need to seek medical attention for this OR put a good lawyer on retainer for when I lose it completely. 

Judge Judy, I plead insanity because I felt insane. 


{deep breath}

On the upside have you ever seen a more beautiful flower??
The beginning of Oprah okra! 

Who knew okra started out so pretty?

Thankfully my insanity lasted just over one day.
Really though, it took a lot out of me….resisting violence is exhausting. 

Have you felt the desire to commit bodily harm on innocent people or things this week?

April 22, 2014

So let's dance the last dance

Linds had her final dance last week.
 She's been dancing since I forced her into trying it 10 years ago. Perhaps 'forced' is a strong word….but there were tears upon entering the dance studio, but she promised me she would TRY it.
She danced at a studio for many years and when high school rolled around she was part of the marching band….on the field during football season making halftime fun for all. 
Daily practices and late Friday nights were the norm. Not to mention all the astro turf I found in the bathroom when she took off her dance shoes and tights. 
I will forever feel guilty from her part in killing the ozone layer with those cans of aqua net to keep the hairs in place. I'm sorry earth. 

When football season was over, the dancers would move into "indoor season"; competitions, pep rallies, recitals. 
 High school dance activities kept her focused on something positive so she didn't get pulled into the crapola some teens sample during these years. I'm thankful for that. 
 I thought I would cry after her last performance, but I didn't. 
I'm thinking those two hours sitting on the hardest bleachers on the planet distracted my pain from my heart to my butt and back. 
 So proud of my little dancer.

Up next; graduation party planning, announcement making and dorm supply shopping. 

I'm thinking a few boxes of Puffs Plus will be in order. 

April 16, 2014

And that's kinda how I felt

Our family timeline:

Coach got sick
Suz got sick
Coach got better
Suz still sick
Coach got sick again
Linds got sick
Suz still sick
Coach got sicker
Lo got sick
Lo got better
Linds is on the upswing

Suz and Coach are still coughing like maniacs.
Linds is getting better
No, Ozzie isn't 'crossing over', he's just disgusted with all of our coughing. 

Lolo thinks we're all sissies because her sickness lasted approx 12 hours. 
Apparently she's a 'speed reader healer'. 

{The Coach & I have upper respiratory infections, Linds was diagnosed with the flu and Lolo perhaps had a bad enchilada?}

Hows your health?

April 11, 2014

Party time and Sick time

I was able to make it to my FIL's 70th birthday last Saturday.
{I feel bad if I infected anyone with my funky germs!}
It was a great party and a bit of a family reunion too. 
We saw family members that we've not visited with in years, so I was so glad I went….but again, so sorry if I gave anyone else the funk.
The birthday boy and his boys.

My FIL had a great day. Fabulous food, live music and his wife Judy even had a photo booth; good times.
Show me the money?

When the photo booth walls were taken down, they challenged us to see how many we could fit into one pic. 

In lieu of gifts Judy asked for everyone to bring items to donate to our local homeless shelter. Oh, boy, I wish I had taken a photo of the goodies that everyone brought. (food, personal items etc)
What a great idea!

I've spent the week IN house. The coach had the funky germs a month ago; he is so charismatic that those funky germs came back to visit him again! 
I've warned the girls to stay away from me, but we are magnets to each other, therefore they will be hacking up their lungs in no time. 

Take your vitamins people and it wouldn't hurt to avoid the general public for the next month. 

So, do you have any parties this weekend?

Happy weekend!

April 09, 2014

The one where I mimic The Walking Dead

Perhaps I shouldn't have binged watched three seasons in three weeks
{It's a great show, if you can look past all the decapitations}

Things I might have said this past week:

*I really think I need to drink some liquid plumber. It's as though I have a clog between my lungs and my throat; I cough it upwards, it goes back down. I cough it upwards, it goes back down. It just won't exit.  Go towards the LIGHT damnitt!

*Me: Linds, I paid some bills this morning. I had to write 3 checks and for the life of me, I could not remember if I used my 1st name MIDDLE INITIAL and last name in my signature or just my 1st and last name. 
Linds: We can't blame that on the sickness mom, you might have dementia. 

*I'm not going to the Doctor. They just throw antibiotics at you and I don't want to go down that road. Surely, I can beat this with positive thoughts, orange juice and perhaps some magic crystals. 

*How come I don't ever get that kind of sick where you don't have an appetite? I'm eating as much as usual but I haven't burnt a calorie in days. 
{I looked it up, violent coughing doesn't count as exercise.}

*I feel as though I'm turning…Lolo, please find something sharp!
 {a Walking Dead reference}

Then I threw in the towel. 
It was Tuesday at three a.m, I staggered to the back of the house (away from my sleeping people) with my 14th coughing fit for the night.. 
I stared down at the three cages of hermit crabs and wondered if they too were sick of hearing me cough all night.  

Suz, you are going to the Doctor tomorrow….even if it kills you. 

{I said that, not the hermit crabs}


So, I went to the Dr. and yes, she threw antibiotics and cough meds at me.
Like the weak human I am, I took them.

I'll be back to my old sassy self in a few days; no big pickle.
I only hope that I remember how to sign a check next week.

Don't cry for me Argentina go feeling sorry for me, but do tell me something good that's happened to you this week….
or else I'll be forced to cough in your general direction. 


April 04, 2014

I've got the funk; the creeping crud.

I'm not overly dramatic, but I've already secured the venue, caterer and bartenders for my "celebration of life" party.
Still investigating DJ's, but rest assured, you're all going to have a great time!
I'm thinking an 80's theme would be fun. Suggestions? Ideas?

Ok. It might just be a severe cold with a hideous cough. 
But you never know….
The Coach brought home some great cough medicine that seems to work….liquid plumber duramax or perhaps its mucinex? Nah….it's the first one.
Maisy-yes, that is exactly how I'm feeling.  

Who has time to be sick?
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Ozzie: Mama-why are you laying down on the grass like that?
Suz:  I was taking a look at the garden when all of a sudden, my head felt like it weighed 100lbs.
Ozzie: Oh, I feel like that sometimes too, but usually because Cocoa IS laying on my head at the time. 

Coach's dad turns 70 this week and a huge party is in order for Saturday. I've got to get my health together so I can be a helper AND enjoyer. 

Wishing you all a healthy and fun weekend!