Is it getting old in here?

Most days I am so tired at night…{ok, evening}

So tired thinking about what I have to do to get ready for bed.

It can be exhausting. Or maybe I am exhausting?

prepare the morning coffee.

make sure sink is cleared; load dishwasher

turn off TV and lights.

wash my face.

remove my contacts.

send the dogs out for ‘one more’ peeing.

put on PJ’s

apply eye cream, moisturizer, hand lotion.

try to moisturize overly dry tootsies.

wonder how my face is ‘falling’ at the speed of light

brush teeth

harass children

pee

set out lunch $$

call dogs back in

set alarm

shout “NO” when dogs try to get on our bed

pee

tell Lo to get off the phone. again.

take remote from Coach, who is sawing logs

lay down; let out large exhale

wonder if I forgot something

start my long list of prayers, including thanking GOD for one.more.day.

Yep, getting’ old. 

Welcome to Old Ville.

Choose your rocker.

And hurry damnit.  I ain’t got all darn day.

Is it wrong that I want to start my nighttime routine at 6pm?

Am I alone here?

Bangs, Prison names and Saving Rosie!

 

I always feel a pang of sympathy when I see someone wilth really bad bangs. It is a travesty to mankind.

And we’ve all been there. Right?

Yes. That is me. Yes, I cut my own bangs.

No, I was not a homeless child. This was taken inside my Dad’s trailer. 

Yes, that certainly is a bottle of Jack on the counter. And a shank steak knife.

I may have used that knife to do the deed.  What can you expect when I had  cocoa puffs drenched in Jack for breakfast. 

It was a trailer park, I had bad hair, and appear to be wearing boys underwear.

Are you as surprised as I am that I an not incarcerated today?

***

IF I were to be locked up, my prison name would be: Suz Da’ Laundress.

Not to be confused with Suzy  Da’ Arsonist.  She is over in cell block C and can’t fold a fitted sheet to save her own life. {I pity the fool}

***

I was kidding about having that for breakfast. My Dad never gave me cocoa puffs.

***

Speaking of me being all things domestic and scary…

I have an unnatural affection for all my appliances, especially Rosie. {aka: The Dyson}

Sadly, Rosie has been ill. Her suction has suffered. I had her sitting out, ready to visit a repair man, but was I so concerned about leaving her with strangers.

So, I took matters into my own hands. {love the dyson website!}  After much disassembling, I found the offending clog and I also almost broke Rosie with my brutal {yet delicate} strength.

Luckily, the Coach has a degree in fixing stuff that I break. He received that degree via a correspondence course just after our nuptials

***

 

Have a beautiful weekend.

Bee good or Bee bad.

Me?

I prefer to bee good at NOT being bad, thus avoiding any REAL prison nicknames.

What will your prison name be?

I hope you ARE aware that stealing grapes in the produce stand is illegal! 

{I am embarrassed FOR you}

xoxoxoxo

On being a cultist.

 

On a whim yesterday I signed myself up for twitter. Or I should say, I now have a twitter account. I have not a clue as to what I will do with it, if anything. Really, I am ‘out there’ more than I should be as it is.

I thought it would be fun to be on the ‘reading end.’

Steve Martin made me laugh out loud. I mean, he made me LOL.

Damn, I am getting good at this already.

One thought that hit me though, I am now one step closer to being the *twit* that my Dad often accused me of being.

Heck, that right there could have been my very first tweet!

I also signed myself up for Groupon.  {Thank you Dawn!} and with that I was able to sign myself up for a photography class at a very reduced price upcoming in a few weeks.  

I joined two things in one day.

Watch out, soon I will be in a real cult.

Yes, I’m talking about AVON.

Kidding.

Not really.

Ok, for you brilliant people and my non commenters too:

Dave Matthews or David Cassidy?

Barry White or Barry Manilow?

You do realize it is very easy to leave a comment don’t you?

Even a boxer can do it.

I double dog dare you.

Don’t you hate it when someone refers to you as a *Sissy*?

Sissy.

XOXOXOX

Old stuff never {really} gets old.

 

My Grandma gave me these gorgeous wine glasses at my bridal shower in 1891.

Or maybe it was 1991. Who can remember anymore.

I opened them and thought: wow these are awfully fancy for my $4.00 bottle of white zinfandel.

They are delicate and  beautifully etched, with real gold on the *lipper* area.

They have survived all of our moves. {5} I have never used them, but they have a prominent spot in our china cabinet.

{sure wish I had cleaned the mirror prior to the photo}

The best part about these babies? My Grandma got them as a wedding gift from a family member…and they had already been in the family at THAT time.

Not sure exactly how old they are, but my G’ma already had them 50 years when she handed them down to me.

Someone actually captured a bit of this gift giving moment on video. I wish I could edit it somehow to share.

I love watching parts of that video ‘cause I can SEE and HEAR my grandma talking again. I miss hearing her voice so much.

And that is all I know.

Grandma always ended our phone conversations this way.  Cause, at the moment, that is all she knew.  Or possibly, she was tired of talking at this point.

*I made up the lipper area term, but it makes sense. Right?

Have a beautiful day, knowing whatever it is you know.

P.S. Something else I know:  the thought of white zinfandel gags me now. 

Nekkid Birds Driving on TV.

 

 

A miracle happened on Monday January 18th 2011 at 1:45pm.

All the laundry in this house was clean.

For 46 minutes.

I see the benefit of being a nudist. 

***

I have been playing the game ANGRY BIRDS on my new droid. Is anyone as frustrated as I am with throwing birds?

***

Lindsay has had about 8 minutes total behind the wheel since she got her learner’s permit.

7.5 minutes of that she was laughing hysterically. I wasn’t.

She asked me yesterday {as I was driving} “Would you get arrested if you drove backwards down the road?”

I said ‘yes’, but then wondered… is it illegal?

***

I have a very good visual memory; it haunts me. When certain TV shows are on, I have to vacate the room because I can’t forget horrifying scenes.

On my avoid list: CSI, Law & Order SVU, My Secret Addiction, 1,000 ways to die and the pièce de résistance: The Jersey Shore.

Anything to add to any of this nonsense?

Have a great weekend doing this and that. And if you are lucky, some of the other thing too.

Collecting Frogs and Birthdays

 

The reason for our little jaunt to Orlando last weekend was twofold. Or threefold? I am terrible with numbers.

My FIL Bill is celebrating his 60th birthday today. {Happy b-day Bill!}

I hope I look this good at 60.

I also hope I don’t have a beard at 60. **fingers crossed*

This past weekend Bill and Coach’s Mom had a trip planned to to collect some frogs.

So we {and Coach’s Bro/family} surprised him as well.

The Frog Artist, Lo & my Niece Kristy…holding frogs. 

Not REAL frogs…pretty & collectible frogs.

A big birthday is a great reason to make it a weekend. Bill is a great person to be celebrated. He and Sue have been married for 37 years.  I know. Crazy good stuff right there.

{I swear, he is not holding her against her will…it just appears that way}

We stayed at the Boardwalk Inn at Disney. Pretty cool place.

Lindsay was having a Goldilocks' moment with the seating though…

“Too Little? Too big? Where oh where is my Just right??”

I really want a couch like that one. Doesn’t it look cozy??? Of course, you won’t catch me curling up on a lobby couch….yikes, germs from all over the world living on that piece of upholstery. *going to burn Lindsay’s jeans now*

Aren’t you glad I invited *ALL of YOU* for our weekend getaway? Too bad you were quiet and shy…especially when the bill arrived. Cheapskates.

Happy birthday Bill!  Thanks for teaching me how to cook and lots of other stuff too!  

Of Mice and hearts.

“To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.”
Margaret Thatcher

I certainly wish I did not wear MY heart on my sleeve. I should keep it in the closet, way back there in the corner with my size 4 jeans and my hello Kitty stationary.  That way it won’t get hurt. Ever.

But I don’t. Damn it.

Non Heart Hurters:

~Linds ~Lo ~My Niece Kristy~

I know what you are thinking. yes, those eyes. amazing.

My eyes? Burning. Itching. Red. Hiding.

Guess where we were this weekend. ..

Palm trees, bright lights, big crowds, lots of foreigner's.

Late night ice creams and coffee, everything overpriced.

Elaborate chandeliers in lobbies.

And mice ears just about everyfrickinwhere I looked.

Back to reality.

How was your weekend?

I hope it was high on the fun part and low on the low part.

Stuff you didn’t need to know

But I am going to tell you anyway.

Happy Friday ya’ll.

I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday. My sweet girl “Holly” accidentally dropped the popsicle stick full of wax IN MY HAIR. I hope I am not giving myself a haircut today.

It has been cold here the last couple of days. {we are wearing pants} But unlike everyone else on the planet, I DON’T have snow photos to share.

I have been walking 2+ miles 4-5 days a week since Christmas. Surprisingly, I am still IN my house. What the hey?

Our friends who visited last weekend, {Heather, PJ & Super Boy} gave us this gift: A box of table topics. 

{{Ironically, I keep them on the table with the salt/pepper and napkins. I know, I am so clever.}}

WAY more fun than I imagined. Each night, we are pulling out topics and letting our minds  mouths wander. One of MY favorite questions was this one:

Which would you choose to be : Funnier, Smarter or more athletic.

The answers surprised me all around. And….I thought I knew these people.

So, what would you choose?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Me?

I chose to be smarter….’cause taller was not a choice.

That line up there made me laugh. {out loud!!!}

We have a little sumpin’ sumpin’ planned for the weekend…but it is secret squirrel stuff. I can’t tell you cause then it won’t come true. Like birthday wishes.

What is on your agenda this weekend?

And really...You? Funnier, smarter or more athletic?  Do tell.

Balancing the Pickle budget

I’ve written before about Lindsay and her pickle obsession.

She will deny it is an obsession, but see the photo below.

Members of the Jury, I present to you: Exhibit P.

She has to make sure each burger or sandwich as at least ONE pickle per bite.

{Proof of pickle obsession}

And of course, she won’t use any generic cheapo pickle. Nosireebobcattail.

She has a particular pickle palate, only expensive Wickles Pickles will do.

She goes through 2 jars a week…and that is after I put her on pickle probation.

I did the math…$405.60 per year. for pickles.

On the upside they are cheaper than street drugs, although perhaps more addictive…they should come with a warning label!

Anyone in your house addicted to something INSIDE of your fridge?

This and That

 

I wish there was a 24 hour live feed for me to view all of the Real Housewives'. They entertain so much, it might be unhealthy. 

I had a very violent dream this weekend. I was angry, both physically and mentally. My heart was beating so fast, it scared me. I could not go back to sleep for a long time.

The next night, I had a hilarious dream. It literally made me laugh. I woke up, and I was chuckling. I kept thinking about the dream, and was trying to NOT laugh out loud, as to not wake the coach. IT was so strange; this fit of laughter I was holding back. When I woke in the morning, I forgot the dream completely. Such is my life.

I watched City Of Angels the other day. {Meg Ryan & Nicolas Cage} It is a pretty good movie, but I was concerned that none of my angels would ever be as charismatic as Nicolas Cage.  Ok, maybe he is more odd than charismatic.

This past weekend I was forced into a store I dislike. Ok, maybe not forced. You might have been to this store before. It is huge, two stories,  full of camouflage, dead animals, guns, ammo, salt licks, lures and mullets… As per my friend Heather:  “This place is all about killing stuff” 

Yep, I could not wait to make my exit, thinking I might be next.  {For the being killed part or the mullet} Have you been there?

Lil’ Boys aren't like they used to be.

At least not as I remember them to be.

We had a fun filled weekend with a super boy.

Well, actually his full name is Super{duper} Boy.  He has superhuman powers….he can make you say: ahhhhh…oooohhhhh…wooowwwwww. He can lure anyone to get on the ground and play at his level. He even convinced me to sing silly songs with the blink of his eye. He’s cool like that.

He also brought his parents;  it’s in their contract to tag a long for the next 18 years. {Fun sponges} 

{The Coach and SB bonding over an episode of the Wiggles}

We have not seen him since his First Birthday Gala…way back in September. Can’t believe how much we have missed him. So darn sweet. I could never ever shank him; I swear.

{This is what David Beckham looked like 32 years ago}

 

Can you imagine this boy had a tantrum going INTO Target?

I only have them coming out of Target.

His mom will kill me for sharing THAT photo…but it was kinda funny. He wanted to play with the giant RED balls propped out in front of the store…but Aunt Suz did not realize that until the drama ensued.  I am soooo out of practice.

A moment captured of the big kids…almost taking down their dad. {NOT at Target}

That’s why we have health {and life} insurance.

We did a lot of eating, laughing, playing, eating and planned a new kitchen this weekend. {For super boy and his parental unit}

What did you do?

 

Sharpies, Green stuff and world travel.

Did I ever tell you that LoLo has a sharpie obsession?

She is dedicated daily to doodling.

This is what she does all day long at school….toting her bag of sharpies from {AP & Honors} class to class.

Lucky for her she is maintaining straight A’s B’s. Also lucky for her, there is no sharpie brain damage happening. yet.

***

I made broccoli soup last night. {and sloppy joes!} I used broccoli that I grew in my very own garden.

Ok, that broccoli is not from my garden. I know, Liar Liar pants of fire….whatever…

But I do have several heads of the green stuff growing. They are so cute and green!

***

I have a very important question for all of you:

What is the most memorable vacation you’ve ever had?

Where did you go?

Oh, wait, you say you’ve not had a memorable vacation yet?

Well, where would YOU go if you could?

Please share, we are looking for inspiration.

Have a great weekend doing whatever you do when you are not with me. 

ps. Your Mom called and she said: eat your veggies!

A lot of *YOU* were tag-a-longs.

 

I was in need of a new calendar. I don’t know about you, but I always purchase mine after January 1st…50% off screams my name!

~The lines between blogging and real life are starting to become blurred~

While perusing a calendar for me, I saw several for YOU.

(cell phone photos)

Beagles; right off the bat I thought about Gary and Jenn.

And my niece just added one of these to her family.

And of course, there was a calendar for Scout and Shelley. Do you know that Scout sends snail mail to Cocoa and Ozzie? They get so darn excited they nearly pee all over the place now when they see the mailman.  {perhaps Scout should mail paper towels?}

The calendar people know we love our dogs…our regular and our specialized pups like Harriet. Harriet loves to be photographed, not sure if she really loves that gigantic pinecone though.  They even had regular doxies for Jo and Jenny.

I almost shat myself when I saw this one:

I should have got one of these for Betsy and Jen, but I like them too much. Can you believe there is an entire calendar dedicated to your nemesis?

When I saw this one, I felt the urge to visit a plastic surgeon.

Can you believe this is the Coach’s dream dog? Forizzle. Ain’t nothing but a hound dog…..

I’m tired just looking at the cover, can’t imagine 12 months of that.

Of course, you knew I would end up with this one…I bet "C" and Woody would arm wrestle me for it…surely I would not win!

And looky here, Cocoa is gracing the month of January.

Where that brazen hussy finds the time to moonlight as a model, I will never know.

I’ll never have to worry about Ozzie being a cover model, bless his cartoonish ears and wharf breath~self.

He is a boy that only a mother could love….and I do.

What's on your calendar this year???