June 29, 2012

Never a dull moment.

I never have to go very far for something to blog about.
I had scheduled for our propane tanks to be filled this week. Nothing extraordinary about that.
Yes, my tanks are over-sized. Thanks for noticing. For inquiring minds, the gas is for our grill and hot tub.

Yesterday, the driver/truck followed me in through our electric gate when I was pulling in from work.... She backed up that beast of a truck to the middle of our long driveway and I met her at the back of her truck after I parked in the garage.
The driver was so nice. So sweet: So Kelly.
I commented to her that I was worried about her backing up through out's been hit before. {big brown truck!}
She said: Nahhhh...piece of cake. 
I told her the propane tanks were at the back of the driveway, she went to her truck to pull back further so she could do her job and I went into the house to my jobs.
A few minutes later I took a peek out the side window to see how she was doing and I noticed something unusual.
That is our gate keypad attached to the front of her bumper.
Concrete slab and all. 
And she had no idea.
I may have cussed in the privacy of my own home. A couple of times. 
I found her at the propane tanks and she was so sweet and delightful....telling me that one of our gauges needed replacing and it was no charge and blah blah blah...chatty happy lady.
I smiled and listened, cause that is what I do.
All the while I'm thinking: How am I going to tell her what she did???

Then I said: 
Um, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you took down my keypad with your front bumper.... 
Then you drug it to it's death up the entire length of our driveway. 

She was beside herself. She did not see it because her truck was so high was a pure accident. 
Her truck is that blue speck at the back of the driveway. The keypad had no luck in getting away.
She was so sorry. What could I say? I knew they were insured and things happen. I knew it would get replaced...I wasn't worried about that. I was concerned for her job. For her mindset. I hate it when I do stupid stuff. It hurts my brain.
And no, Cocoa was not choking in that photo. She was throwing up because even she knows this gate has been such a nightmare to maintain.

After a few phone calls, and us both taking photos for insurance purposes, she pulled her truck to the end of the driveway...I was down there getting the mail and wondering how much of an issue it would be to have this replaced and working again.
She got out of her truck again and looked at where the keypad used to be.
She shook her head and threw her hands up in the air and kind of chuckled.
I did the same thing and said:
What are you gonna do? 
It's toast, I laughed.
She laughed and said:
You are the most pleasant customer I have ever had....and I've wronged you the most!

You just can't get upset about stuff out of your control. But I did enjoy controlling my gate.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend without any accidental run-overs!

June 27, 2012

It IS a Pinteresting summer

Thank you NCMountainWoman for giving me the word "pinteresting"
So yes, someone has been crafting.
I'm not even surprised when I come home and find weird items all around the kitchen. Luckily, a flame torch has not been involved. yet.
But summer has just begun and she is flooding in the "creative juices" dept. Similar to the rest of Florida right now. 
Hammering and nailing the Sunshine state. Or as we call it, hurricane season.
And then you add some thread and mucho patience. 
 There is a heart shaped nail area over our county. I should work on my photography skills.

 This is what you do when you are mad at have a plethora of crayons. 
When I came home my nose said to me: It smells like kindergarten in here.
You never forget the smell of crayons.

Making PB Cup shaped crayons...
by melting other crayons.
The poor crayons didn't see it coming. 
And late at night...when a person might be craving a peanut butter cup, these could become a snack.
Ok, maybe not the gray ones. I'm not that hungry. yet.
The brown ones are pretty good though.

Well, it got painted and yarned. That'll teach it to 'go with the flow' next time.

We've also spent some time prepping for some upcoming events. One of those events is a super secret and I've turned into a professional liar. I hate lying. But lately, I've become proficient at it. It scares me...and it scares my people too.
"Mommy, you are such a good liar"
Gee, thanks Honey???

And of course, there is our upcoming vacation.
The girls are so flipping excited. 
They've never used a passport before...even after all those guilt trips I've sent them on.
The Coach told the girls they could each bring a friend.
He is so generous. 
Although, he drew the line when I wanted to also bring a friend.
I was going to bring YOU.

He is going to spend 8 days with his wife and 4 teenage girls.
Gosh.....what if we all get our periods at the same time?
*Suz throws her head back in laughter*

Ain't life grand.....and of course it's {p}interesting too.

June 25, 2012

I had a dream.

Do you remember your dreams?
Mine have always been bizarre; if you can believe that.
A few years ago {2007} I decided to start writing down my dreams in the morning before I forgot them.
I was pretty consistent on keeping this journal. Well if you call journaling them for 'several days a week for almost one entire month' consistent.
Yesterday, I pulled that baby out and added a dream from Saturday night.
Then I went back and re-read some of my old dreams. Then I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more.
I shared them with the family.
The Coach said to the girls: "When you have children one day, don't share that journal with your kids...they will think your Mother is insane."
The Coach also mentioned something about using this journal for court documentation one day....whatever.
I did find that a lot of my dreams were about messiness; people being messy and me not being able to control their messes. Or clutter. Or me misplacing items, like clothes and cars. Or me being late. And not ready. I hate to be late and not ready. And of course, the reptiles; snakes, giant lizards, dolphins who turn into sharks etc. And every few days I have the 'hairy legs' dream; where the hair on my legs is so's embarrassing.
And of course, there is the 'locker dream'.
YOU have that one too right? You are at school and you can't remember your locker combo? And then you realize you aren't wearing pants.
It's hard to be me.
Please share. Must I wallow alone here in my weird dream world?

June 21, 2012

After this, I'll take a stab at world peace.

I've not personally made any progress for this world involving race relations, sexual equality or world peace. {Unless you consider that I've raised two humans who don't see color or sexual orientation as a factor when it comes to liking a person}

And we know all about my determination to wipe out Styrofoam and to prosecute anyone for not recycling properly. *Heathens*

BUT...I have made strides in the cat and dog relations.

Ozzie and Maisy
And lets face it, there was a big need for this kind of peace.
Wasn't there?

Cocoa and Krispy
Get it? Cocoa Krispy?

Perhaps most dogs and cats can have a good friendship.
Maybe my perception of the dog/cat relationship was what I learned from 70's cartoons. 
*Damn Hanna Barbera*

I dunno...but I thought it was funny to capture all four of these incidents over a two hour time-frame.

 Ozzie, Cocoa and Harley

 Ozzie and Maisy. (Or is that Krispy?)
Did you notice that all our critters are color coordinated?
I totally didn't do that on purpose. 

And in other news: 
our snake Freddie the Freeloader has a new home.
After 7 years living here, we found a responsible human who would give him more attention than he was getting here.
I was kinda sad....especially since he matched the other pets. 
*snicker snicker*

If something living/breathing and orange shows up on the front porch...I'm moving. 

Ok, now for the rest of my "To Do" list.....I'm gonna be busy for a while.

June 19, 2012

Asking and Receiving.

If it's your day as the father, you get what you want.

You ask for a BLT? 
YOU get a BLT. Heavy on the T.
{Sandwich made by LoLo.}
And yes, she did eventually slice the T,  and add more B and L.

You ask for a 1947 kinda weird looking Ford Truck. 
And you get a 1947 kinda weird looking Ford toy truck. 

You need the bed of your pick-up truck cleaned out? 
{Softball coaches are known for toting around orange clay}
You get your pick up truck bed cleaned out by three able bodies. Well, two of the bodies are more able than the third. 
The third able body is very good at giving directions.

Hey, if you're good at something, flaunt it.
*Me, Flaunting*

There was also a flurry of garage cleaning with some throwing out of crap and organizing of other crap. 
All in all, it was a good day for the Coach.


My Dad was not big on holidays. BUT, he always had a saying:
Mother's day comes 9 months after Father's day.
Or was it
Father's day comes 9 months after Mother's day?

Ether way, it was so darn corny.
I know where I get it from. 


June 15, 2012

The internet can be a dangerous place

Everyday is a surprise in the making.

The girls are both home for the summer. While they are both kinda looking for jobs....I've set up house chores for each day.  A load off my back I tell ya!

Anyhoo...I came home from work yesterday, walked into the mud room and I said: 
What is that smell? It smells like bazooka bubble gum!

They were both in the kitchen and they started laughing....

Lo: Really? It smells like bubble gum? {giggle giggle}
Lindsay: You mean it doesn't smell like something burnt? {giggle giggle}
me: what did you guys do?

And as I made my way into the kitchen I spotted 4 empty bottles of wine, a roll of twine, nail polish remover and a lighter.

My first question: Did you pour out all that wine?

Then tried to ease my fears by telling me they drank it.

Kidding. They pulled them out of the recycle bin.
And then my confused nose smelled all the nail polish remover. Gag. 

Lo told me she was making gifts for her Dad and I...something she saw on Pinterest and Youtube.
It's actually pretty cool if it wasn't happening in my kitchen. didn't work for her, maybe because our nail polish remover is 'non acetone?"

But still. I am hiding all the lighters. And maybe ditching internet access too. 
I'll never be able to ditch her creative juices. 

They warn us about prescription drugs, alcohol, texting and driving...where is the campaign against Pinterest?

Have a great and safe weekend ya'll!
Happy Fathers day to everyone!

June 11, 2012

Do you MuuMuu?

Some news.
My youngest daughter is now a Junior. 
I must start shopping for some muumuu's and comfortable shoes.

I'm not sure where to even purchase a muumuu.

My G'ma used to wear them around the house all the time. I believe she referred to them as a"house-dress".
{G'ma's were similar to this; short sleeve with snaps down the front.}

They always had big pockets for her pack of cigarettes.
I think that was a must for housewives back in the day. Soap operas and cigarettes went hand in hand.

I'll just use the pocket for my flask smart phone. 

I was digging through photos the other day and came across this one of my G'ma.
My first thought: She would hate this photo of herself; she was eating for heavens sake!

But then I looked closely and it appeared to me that she was saying a naughty word.

You see, her constant and favorite phrase to describe a good person:

"{Fill in the blank with a name} wouldn't  say  sh*t  if  their  mouth  was  full  of  it."

Have you ever heard that one?
Well, it looked like she might be saying that in that photo above...even though it appeared that she was actually eating some sort of mayonnaise based salad.

Now, everyone close your eyes.
 My Dad's cousin and my G'ma.
Maybe they were praying?
But most likely not. Most Methodists only pray at church or before bed.

I just made that up.

And this is the look she gave you before she informed you that you've gained weight...
and her next line would include something about her wanting to fix you something to eat.

Gosh I miss that woman with the Muumuu's and mixed messages!

Our weekend was swell.
How about you?

Housedress pattern photo borrowed from here.

June 08, 2012

Learning to drive flashback.

I've been busy trying to get healthy. 
It's not as easy as it looks on TV. 
I should have been an actress. 
*shaking my fists at the hands of fate!*

*Someone* acquired a new old toy.
1971 ...and with more power than is necessary.
*Someone* is going to teach two girls how to drive a six speed. In this. 
Good luck with that.
I'll be buying helmets for all involved.

I don't think I've driven a stick shift 22 years?

I kinda remember my Dad teaching me in his mustang.
It took time and patience.
Two things my Dad was shorted at birth.

A vivid memory that I have is of my step-mother and myself {15} while we were on vacation in a rental car.
She was in the passenger seat holding an ice filled concoction, me in the drivers seat trying to figure it all out.
You can only imagine how much of that she wore.....
I can still hear the ice clinking in the glass...over and over and over. 
Stupid clutch. 

You didn't have a tipsy driving instructor?

And look at me now.

Do you know how to drive a 'stick'?

And I'm not referring to your witches' stick this time.

Have a healthy and safe weekend.
And by safe, you know what I mean.


June 06, 2012

Urban housing

To begin with...thank you all for your well wishes and prayers, Mi Madre' made it through her surgery fine...she is re-cooping at home right now.
{HI MOM!!!!}

I have a little story to share with you.

We had these three palm trees around our pool lanai.
A few years ago we had a freeze...and all three died a slow and painful death.

Photo of ONE palm used in a previous post about fog and our creepy spider webs. 
We got used to the trees.
I mean, tree stubs.

Photo of two dead palms at sunset from a previous post

People would come over and ask: Are you going to have those DEAD trees removed?
The Coach and I were kinda ok with no. 
Plus, the birds like them.

Fast forward to this last week. I was on the cell phone outside talking to my Mom. 
I heard some squawking/chirping to my left. 
I went out and noticed a little bird flitting about one of our dead trees.
I grabbed my camera and did what I do....I stalked.
{with my new camera lens...thanks Coach!}

And then I did what I hate most: math!
I counted our dead trees and only got as far as the number one.

Apparently, our lawn guy took down two of them the day before....and I just didn't notice.
Mrs Observant you ask? YES.
I mean no.

But really, how cute is this guy?

So cute..... I left a note for my lawn guy to NOT remove this is baby wood pecker haven.
My version of the green presidential pardon. 


June 04, 2012

On the upswing?

I finally went to the Dr. on Saturday. Yes, I waited 7 days...and I wished I had only waited 6 days.  Around 5:00 on day six {Friday} I realized I wasn't getting better. 
This is what I do.

 By the time I saw the Dr. I had a sinus infection and a middle ear infection. 

Or maybe he said I have an inner ear infection?
Or was it a little ear infection?

What? Did you just say something to me? I can't hear a darn thing.....

Ozzie asked why he hasn't been featured on the blog recently.
There you go Ozzie-Boy. Now, please don't slobber on my Mac any longer.

In more important news:

My Mom is having shoulder surgery today....good thoughts and healing prayers would be wonderful!

And something to chew on...if you ever fall and hurt yourself badly...try not to do it just prior to a holiday weekend...and most importantly, I pray you don't have to deal with workman's incompetent comp people.
12 days is a long time to sit around in pain {and on pain meds} waiting for a ball to get rolling. 
That has made a broken bone more painful than Mom deserves does yours.  


June 01, 2012

Tongues & Team Hatfield.

If you weren't watching the world news last night, I'll give you the 411: 
I've been sick all week.
It is just a terminal cold, so I will live. Save your sympathy for someone who really needs it.

Oh, who am I kidding? Send gifts and money a.s.a.p!!!

Zoo pics from last weekend  for your viewing pleasure.

That tongue deserves it's own blog post. 
Giraffes are the neatest things on the planet.
I want one. or seven. 
Plus, they are vegetable-tarians. Gotta love that.

 Snowy egret. How cool is he? Way cool...just ask him.

 Some peeps like to be driven. Some prefer to drive. 

This is the closest that my backside likes to be captured.. 

So, while I've been on my backside recouping this week, I watched The Hatfields & McCoys. 
Did you see it? If not, you should DVR can never have enough gun-fights in their life.

From the beginning, I was totally on Team Hatfield.

I mean, the McCoys were the ones who started it! 
IT was so freakin' The McCoy family was not as attractive. 

Wouldn't you be on his team? 
You knew I was that shallow. Didn't you?

Oh yeah.... I am.

What are you doing this weekend?
My goal is to be able to use BOTH of my nostrils for breathing.
My Mama always told me to dream big!