April 29, 2013

What happens in Vegas....goes on the blog.

My Mom and I had a great trip to Vegas for her birthday.
I'll give you the highlights. NOT the hair kind, the other kind. 
Isn't Bev the cutest?
Margarita's overlooking the Grand Canal in Venice. 
Have you witnessed one of these 'real' statues? I have issues not wiggling for one do they do it?
Mom swears this is the SAME one that she saw here several years ago. 
Me: Mom, how would you know if it is the same person?
Her: I recognize the eyes!
That woman cracks me up...I think they all wear black contacts.

We saw Jersey Boys in Paris!
I purchased the tickets on the sole recommendation from Trip Advisor. I really had no idea what the show/story was about....but I am glad that Snookie nor The Situation were involved. 
This show was so awesome I just wanted to cuss profusely and then marry it. Mom and I both recommend it to anyone who likes good stuff. Do you like good stuff?

We also saw LOVE. A Cirque Du Soleil production set to Beatles songs. 
Bloody brilliant! 
I don't know those people, but they would not get out of my way for the photo. More than likely they were drunk out of their's Vegas after all. 

We stayed at the Mirage....which was weird because when we saw it from a distance, it looked very different than up close. 
I live for cheesy jokes. 

 The birthday girl with her favorite daughter. 

My Mom will make friends with anyone. You should have seen all the characters she brought home when I was a began with my Dad.
She made friends with these crazy club kids from B.C one morning.
I think she might have been invited to a rage later in the day, so I suggested an new outfit.

Stay tuned....I have a post to share about meeting one of my favorite bloggers while in Vegas!!!
Now you are thinking:
"but I thought I was her favorite and I don't remember meeting her!"
That is because you were too drunk to remember it...geeze.


April 19, 2013

The outtakes and what really makes me laugh

So, it has been a week. A lot of sadness......always with the sadness. I wish the bad stuff would end. Actually, I wish the bad stuff had ended long before I could remember bad stuff.
Wishes won't wash dishes, or make bad stuff go away. I pray, focus on the good and love my people.

Outtakes from Prom.
Since I never went to prom....and since I can never stop talking about how I never went to prom....yeah, even I'm sick of it now. The flower thing always gets away from us. I've forgotten the boutonniere thingymagigery every year until the day of. My girls? They've forgotten them too. Last minute lucy who? We remembered about 5 hours before this year. (GO us)
 Linds: when do I know it is stuck properly? Me: When you see blood. 

You may have assumed that since I'm all 'gangsta like', that Linds would follow in my gangsta footsteps. Your assumptions would be correct. 
 That girl is hard core. Don't mess with her shank Iphone. 

Ok, lets get to the Ozzie photo bombs. This is what he is famous for. 
 Ozzie: What? What? someone is taking a photo? Where should I stand? Where? where? 
In Mama's leg area?

 Right here? Is this where you want me to stand? 

 Oh, since I have to stand here....might as well kill two birds with one stream of pee. 

If you really want to know how immature and silly I am, watch this video. (you might have seen it recently?)
I laughed all 24 times that I watched it.
I can't decide if the whale, the rhino or the groundhog are the funniest.
If you laughed, then you are part of the silly club. Welcome! Tell, me what made you laugh the hardest?
Sharing is caring....I'm hoping that all of you have something to smile about today.

April 15, 2013

The one where it's all about her. {Again} And the gang she hangs with.

Prom. Again. Every time I turn around someone needs a dress for a big event....and it ain't me.
I've written before about buying prom dresses for Lolo and Linds....and the fact that we purchase multiples, vote on a winner and return the others.
Last year for Linds, I think we purchased three before the winner made it's appearance. This year, my karma must have been looking out for me....we shopped early and were lucky to find a dress on clearance from last season. If you've ever gone to or helped someone go to prom, you know that is a bonus. The dress was drastically reduced AND NO ONE WOULD HAVE THE SAME DRESS.
Sorry to scream in your face, I get like that sometimes.

Anyhoo's....the crazy kids wanted to do a black and red theme. He is a senior, so Linds kinda let him have some input. 
She is gracious like not so much.
 I think they look awesome....classic. You know, like modern day gangsters. And by gangsters, I'm talking about kids in the band. Marching Gang band. Band Marching Gang. 
 It was not easy getting them all outside for photos....I think we hit 90*. and the humidity was at a mild 88%. I was sweating...and I wasn't wearing a tux.

Linds cleans up well....unless we are talking about her room or the inside of her car. 
 Sadly, this shot was not my idea....because it was super duper clever.
Dang band gangs and their cleverness. 
 You should NEVER EVER take photos outside without proper shading. Spotted shading is not good.  I tried to explain this to everyone around me.....people should always listen to me. Right?
 The sugar daddy Coach hooked the kids up with a limo. Who is the spoiler in this house?
 Lolo was working all day, but flew home to see them off.....
As they pulled off in the limo, Lolo said: "I feel sooooooo old." True 'dat yo. 
They were home by midnight and everyone had a blast! You can't ask for more than that.

In a few days, I'll share a few of my outtakes. 
One involves peeing in the front yard.

April 12, 2013

Friday Letters~Pot plants, fallen feet and throwing money away.

Dear front porch pots,
I've patted myself on the back several times this week since I updated you. I exclaimed to anyone that would listen: "I'm a great porch pot planter. I mean, a great porch plant potter!"
Is there a difference? Legally, yes.
Ozzie is partial to my porch pots too. And he's also a camera hog.

Dear Orhaheel,
I am finally sharing my love for you with my nearest and dearest.
Something most people don't know about me....I'm never bare-footed. Unless I'm in bed or the shower, my feet are always shoe-d. My arches fell in 1993 and they never got up. This caused years of unanswered joint pain. My ankles, knees and hips hurt constantly until a Dr. figured out my issue.
I've struggled with shoes since then. I have a pair of custom made orthotics to wear in my sneakers, but other shoes have been a nightmare. I can't wear flats or heels. I need arch support and heel cushion at the same time.
I finally found some that I can wear comfortably daily and my collection is growing.
Like most everything that works for me, they are not cheap. But they are NOT the most expensive shoes I've invested in either.  But when it comes to my comfort {lack of pain} what wouldn't I spend?

These are my newest and favorite. If it was legal and not awkward, I'd marry them.
Someone needs to touch up their polish. As soon as they get done paying the electric bill....


Dear Lindsay,
Apparently you think electricity grows on trees. When I came home from work on Thursday, just after you left for work, I counted twelve {TWELVE!!} light switches on in the house, during the day no less.
IF I were to count actual lights connected to those TWELVE light switches, well that would add up to even more lights and my head might explode.
Do you secretly own stock in Florida Power and Light?

FYI: I'd much prefer to spend money on more shoes for myself.

Happy weekend to you all.
Saturday we have prom. And by "we" I mean Lindsay. You know, the girl who likes lights. I'll be sure to take a picture or TWELVE hundred.


April 10, 2013


When life hands you lemons....
you put them in a beautiful vase, set them on the counter and say Oh, so pretty.
I slice one a day and add it to my water.


When life hands you lemons.....
you put them in a beautiful vase, set them on the counter and say a day later:
Damn, they came with &^%$#@! fruit flies!!!!!
Then you dump the beautiful vase full of lemons into your compost.

What is wrong with this picture?
Yep, NO !?$%$# fruit flies.

April 08, 2013

The Daddy-Long-Legs Saga.

A saga I live through at least once a month:
Scene: My bathroom. I'm peeing primping.
I look at the wall and see a random Daddy Long Legs wandering up the wall.

SUZ:Well. Look at him go. 
Wandering around like he has somewhere to be. 
Really. Where can he be going? 
Does he have a plan? 
Is he trying to reconnect with his family? 
Does he have a life? An agenda? 
I wonder if his name is Arthur or David. 
Or maybe his name is something crazy like Stephen. That is not Steven, it's Stephen....just so you know.

DLL:--------------no thoughts-------no thoughts--------no thoughts-------------------

SUZ: Well, if I kill him quickly, will he feel it? 
Will he worry about his family? 
Will he screech at the top of his daddy long legs lungs: "the injustice of it all!!!"?

And then the moment comes and goes.
I have to serve the injustice of it all.
I actually feel bad.
It is the longest 6 seconds of my life.

April 03, 2013

Alert the Media!

I realized today that I've turned into my pill popping Mother.
Granted, they are mostly supplements....But that is a lot to swallow, even if half of them are chewable.

I need to start saving up for one of these:
Are you a pill popper chewer too?