This, That and The Other Thing

This:

About 2 years ago I found the most perfect fitting underwear and bras. I go every 6 months or so and restock, update my undie drawer. Good things don’t last forever. I was there last week armed with a great coupon. In this store, you don’t get to start digging for your size…the sales ladies take care of it for you.

I told my helper what style undie I needed and which colors.

She asked: “small?”

I said “no”…she then said: “ok, medium.”

I said, “actually, I wear a large in these.”

She laughed and said: “I don’t even wear a large!”

I thought: wow. She IS larger than me…I guess I am wearing big girl pants now?

Then I wondered, If I am a size 6…then who is wearing the small size?

Tinker bell?

That:

There should be a law that the song Manic Monday (The Bangles) can ONLY be played/heard on Monday’s.

Will you sign the petition?

The Other Thing:

I make up songs all the time. I start with an original song and then change the words to suit me, ‘cause I am crafty like that.

Lately the song I sing while cleaning out the cat box area is: Rock the CATBOX!!

If The Clash only knew what I did to their song…

Walking Down *Raggedy Ann* Memory Lane.

 

I have been doing a lot of this and that this week.

Mostly THAT, you know how it goes.

I cleaned out a closet and came across this little flash from the past:

My Raggedy Ann and Andy pillow cases!!!

Raise  your hand if you had a Raggedy Ann or Andy Doll. 

Shout YIPPEE if you had the sheet set!!!

I loved me some Raggedy Ann.  Thank you Mom for saving this for me.

I remember having the doll and putting my own ‘stamp’ on her.

Do you remember she had a red heart on her chest…off to one side. Like, um, like a heart? 

Well, I thought it was only fitting for her to have a matching set.

Yes, I gave her matching heart shaped ‘lady lumps.’

I seem to recall cutting all my dolls hair and applying lipstick to them as well. (and by lipstick, I mean nail polish to the lips!)

See, my future in cosmetology was in the cards from day one.

I was also her for Halloween one year when I was about 5 or so.

I am pretty sure I resembled nothing like this Raggedy HARLOT Ann.

Who would do that to her? The nerve.

We are planning on working on our farm(ville) this weekend. Putting up the fence to keep the critters out. Coach is making me a fab lattice for the tomato plants too. Of course you will see photos when we get that far.

Did you deface any of your prized toys as a kid?

Are you going to do that this weekend?

I don’t do that stuff anymore…now we just dress up the dogs!!!!

They love it. I swear.

Bee sweet. Bee Fun. Bee a DOLL!

Winning is Delicious!

“Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat.”

                                                       Malcolm S. Forbes

Have you ever tasted such wonderful victory that you gained 5 lbs and came away with a cavity?

Well Lo, Coach and the entire softball team did last night.

They beat the team that can’t be beat.

They beat the team that everyone fears.

They beat the team that never loses.

They taught them humility.

Their first loss in our county in 7 years.

Our fist victory against them in our school’s history.

I said SEVEN YEARS PEOPLE!

Oh, nothing tastes as good as seeing your people happy.

ecstatic. energized. enthused.

There were big smiles. There were happy tears. There was joy.

Seriously, they were both so happy when we got back home, they could not even eat the nice dinner I had prepared.

They were already full of joy!

2 to1 Da’ Bears!!! Sweet victory.

I Am A Complex Creature

***

Dayquil sends me right to sleep.

Nyquil wires me wide awake.

Too much caffeine makes me loco.

Pain medication makes me jittery and cranky.

Tea makes me pee.

Uncooked spinach gives me intestinal bubbles.

Too many raw nuts binds up my insides.

Being around someone with a cold makes my sinuses hurt. Immediately.

Being near someone with the stench of cigarettes on their clothes makes me want to gag.

Watching discovery health channel brings on many, many body pains.

The smell of fried food gives me a headache.

***

Well now that I read all of that, perhaps I am not that complex at all.

I am a party. I swear!

Drink MY Kool Aid!!

I have an unhealthy fascination with cults.

Please, don’t hold this against me.

I read about them. I watch documentaries on them.

It is weird, I know.

You see…I was never a part of any group.

NEVER.

So, for me, a cult would have been perfect. Or a death sentence. The outcome would have been a toss-up.

I would have been the perfect person to have been picked up at the airport by the hari krishnas.

Seriously.

But luckily my Mom was not late that day at the airport.

I am pretty sure I was the type of person they prayed on. Someone eager to belong.

I am so happy I avoided that catastrophe. I am for certain that I have an oddly shaped head and would not look attractive bald. Not even a little bit.

There is still that Avon cult trying to get me to join.

And the Mon* a*Vie people. whew. Don't even get me started...

They are ruthless. Beware.

I am going to come up with my own Cult.

Feel free to join, but I have rules…some mandates for you.

Prepare yourself.

Take pride. Clean up your yard. It does not have to be pristine. BUT a lingering old tire will result in banishment.

Be responsible. Keep your pets safe and fed. Above all, get them neutered. Litters of puppies and kittens will get you locked up in the big house for life. And by big house, I mean the POUND.

Teach manners. Teach your children to not laugh at the expense of others …and to speak up for the underdog. They can however laugh at their Mom when she dances in the kitchen. Moms expect that.

Live within your means. Anyone buying a home or car they can’t afford will have to clean my house for eternity. You don’t want that.

Recycle. Anyone caught throwing away recyclables will be banned to swim in the great swirl of garbage in the ocean. With no floaties, not even a hot pink noodle.

Be appropriate. PJs are ok for a drive thru, but not inside an actual store/restaurant. Remember though…cars run out of gas and tires do flatten.

Be courteous…to everyone, especially your elders.

Did I miss anything???

Are you signing up?

A free Busy Bee cult t-shirt to the first 20 members.

TGIF; News on ‘Susan’ and my Farm.

 

You’re about as funny as a monkey of barrels!!!

That is what Linds told me last night.

I believe her.

 

I really, REALLY did not mean to write so much about my ‘spiritual’ experience last week. It was not my intention at all. But I opened a can of beer worms. I am however DONE with it.

A few people asked if I was writing a book about this…

ya’ll are some FUNNY people. I could write it all out. It would however NOT be a book. More like a pamphlet.

Scratch that. It would be a leaflet. 

Last I heard, there is not a big calling for life stories in leaflets.

If that changes, let me know.

I did LOVE reading about YOUR ghostly experiences. Really…that was fun for me. I felt almost normal about this experience.  I got a few detailed emails with other stories and I love when you share with me.

It’s just like girl scout camp circle time with your peeps.

I will give you each an honorary ‘sharing of scary stuff’ badge.

Wear it in good health. And proudly.

Ok, so my wonderful Mom sent me an email the other night stating what I thought was true:

Hey Honey,
I just read today's blog, and yes Susan and her mother were killed in a plane crash.  It was a small plane, I think it happened in NC.  That may have been where they were from. 

Don’t be jealous that my Mom calls me honey.

Well, I googled all the information that I had…and guess what I got?

NOTHING.

The Atlanta Journal archives for obituaries and news stories only goes back so far. I hit a dead end.

**a moment of silence for Susan and her Mom**

Ok, onward and upward.

I am officially starting my Farm(ville) this weekend. We are calling it farm(ville)…just cause the farmville people on Facebook annoy me.       No, I won’t buy you a HOe!  And I don’t want to be your neighbor!!!

I put in the edging myself this week…hoping to keep the St. Augustine grass and dollar weeds from creeping in.

And seriously…if I had a dollar for every single dollar weed in our yard, well, I would be writing this blog from my vacation home on the peninsula papagayo on Costa Rica right now.

* hold on, my coconut concoction is dripping on my laptop.  Life can be so stresssssful.*

Ok, so nothing crazy for the weekend.

Farming.

Family.

laundry

blogging.

How about you? Farming? Laundry? Blogging about YOUR ghost?

If you have had an experience and have NOT shared it with me…then why the heck not??? Post it on your blog, or send me an email….I am NOW loving this stuff since I am a grown up and all. Not so scared anymore.

Stop laughing. I AM grown up!!

Bee Fun! Bee HAPPY! Bee a sharer!!

My Visitor Theory.

To answer some questions about the Visitor incidents.

• No one in my home had any occurrences like I did. Not that I know of.  This sounds weird, but there were three of us living in this house at the time, but I mostly felt alone. My mom worked a tremendous amount of wacky hours, and my brother was battling his own demons at this time and he was disconnected from everyone. 
• When I tried to tell both my Mother and Brother about what I had been hearing, I was dismissed as me being dramatic.
• The two nights that I wrote about were the most chilling. There were other nights that I was sleeping in the bed with my Mom and could hear the walking of the halls….I just stayed tight and prayed.  I did not sleep well while we lived in this house, and my grades at school were a sure sign of this. Many nights, if my Mom was working all night, I would spend the night at my friends apt. who lived in the building behind us.
• It was not a dream. This was as real as it could be.
• This was not an animal running through our house.
• A lot of people don’t believe in ghosts, or spirits. I know they are out there.
• Sometimes I wish I had opened my eyes to see what was there in front of me, but then again, it is scary to think that that vision would still be with me today! 
• I did not know who lived there before us, or after us to confirm the haunting.

Ok, for my theory. This did not come to me until years later, and it may NOT be true, it is just a theory.

When we first moved into this townhouse (In an Atlanta suburb) I had befriended a little girl named Susan.

Susan was many years younger than I, maybe around 7 or 8. Her Mom was the leasing agent of the complex. I did not know anyone my age and Susan invited me to her house to play several times.

Susan and her Mom lived in the same exact model townhouse as we did, but theirs was decorated so nice; fancy. Up and down the stairway walls, just about every inch was covered by photographs and beautiful paintings. I had never seen so much hanging on a wall before.

I would go over frequently and play with her and all her awesome toys, she had a beautiful room full of great stuff. cabbage patch babies too!

I remember her mom would make great snacks for us as well.

I think in a way, I was almost babysitting her, keeping her out of her Mom’s hair.

After several months of living here, I finally made some friends my own age and my friendship with Susan faded. I kind of forgot about her. That is what happens to 12/13 year old brains.

***

Later,  I have a faded memory of riding my bike past Susan’s townhouse one day and seeing a group of people going into their townhouse. I remember seeing either a large white bouquet of flowers being carried, or a white wreath of flowers.

I thought nothing of this.

Then, the talk in the neighborhood by some of the kids was that Susan and her mom died in a plane crash. I honestly have no idea if this is true.

Possibly they just moved? Or possibly, they did die. I have no idea.

But the spirit who visited our home, was to me, a child.  With all the slow paced walking and eventual running around…it was a child. 

That is my theory and I am sticking to it!

Ok. With all that being said…here is a little tidbit that freaked my freak.  I KNOW this was purely coincidental…I just KNOW IT.

BUT…

about 10 years ago the girls and I were visiting my family in Atlanta. We were out running around and we were near this complex. I thought it would be cool to show the girls where I lived for 3 years of my childhood.

 

As soon as we pulled into the parking area of where our townhouse was, I looked at our front door and pointed it out to Lo and Linds…

and at that exact moment, a little girl inside pulled at the sidelight curtain and peeked out. 

I can’t make this up. I’m not Stephen King.

I do know this had to be a coincidence.

So, I pulled into the parking spot and immediately turned around.

Bah-Bye!

***

So, do you think I am a loon? Do you believe in spirits?

Truth be told, it does not matter what others think of this…I know my story.

I know.

Things that GO BUMP In My (night) Life.

This is another next installment of my encounter with the mysterious visitor.

I was going to leave it as it was…with that little glimpse last week. But a few of you asked for more. I am, after all a giver. Albeit a giver of creepiness.

We lived in this town house for about 3 years.

I wrote about my first memory of the visitor, and I don’t remember exactly, but this did not happen until we had lived here for a while, possibly within a year. I think. A lot of my memories about ‘time’ are fuzzy.

Remember I was around 13 at the time. I was really focused on boys, lip gloss and my new curling iron.

I do remember that night in those details.

And then, I remember this night in these details.

I think the time frame between that first visit and this one were only a few weeks apart, but like I said, my time frame is fuzzy.

On this next night of my memories, I was asleep on the couch. This was a 3 story townhouse. The living room, dining room and kitchen were on the second floor. Our bedrooms were on the third floor and the basement was, um, in the basement.

So I was asleep on the couch on the 2nd floor. I remember I must have fallen asleep reading or something, because I still had on my corduroy pants and a t-shirt. It was the middle of the night and dark.

Mom was now working nights.

I can’t recall if my brother was even home or if he was upstairs in his room with his headphones on sleeping to some funky music. (he loved techno before it was cool)

I remember waking up hearing the footsteps upstairs again.

Just like the previous visit, I could hear them start by my bedroom, go past my brothers room and head to my Mom’s room.

Then they went back in the same direction.

I did not know what to do. I had no bed to dive into this night.

I was on my own.

I reached down by my feet and pulled up my yellow fuzzy blanket. I was thinking…thinking about what I could do. Run out the front door? I could probably make it out there, but then what? Scream? Scream what? Murder?

I did nothing.

I froze.

I froze, hoping this would just stop.

Just go away.

I could hear the steps upstairs…going up and down the hall, the speed picking up just like that first night.

Back and forth.

Then, my worst fears were about to come to fruition.

The footsteps were now coming down the stairs.

Slowly.

My heart was in my throat.

I pulled the blanket up over my face.

I remember thinking: oh my gosh, I am going to be face to face with this, this thing. I was imagining it was a green alien creature. (Ever since I had seen Close Encounters of the Third kind I was terrified of aliens.)

The footsteps came down the stairs slowly, then stopped.

When I say you can hear every move in this wood framed town house, I am not exaggerating. You can hear every move.

The steps then slowly went back up the stairs.

ahhhh…maybe I would live after all.

I could hear the footsteps upstairs making the same back and forth track in front of our bedrooms…at a quicker pace again.

And then…

back down the stairs IT came.

Right towards me.

I don’t think I was breathing.

I had the blanket tight over my face. NOT moving. NOT breathing. My eyes shut tight.

My brain was screaming: GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!

But my mouth said nothing. Not a word.

I heard the steps come across the outside of the coffee table…then around the coffee table between the couch and the table.

I just knew if I opened my eyes I would see something through the fibers of my old blanket. I just knew it was standing RIGHT there in front of me!

But I could NOT open my eyes.

I wanted it to go away.

Leave me alone!!!!!

It moved past me.

It went back up the stairs…speedier.

Across the bedroom hall. Speedier.

Down the stairs. faster still. Around the coffee table..next to the couch and back up the stairs.

It was running through our house at a frantic pace.

It was not a pounding on the floor, it was just a constant creaking of steps. Light and steady steps.

I was terrified, I don’t remember how long this lasted…maybe 10 minutes or it could have been an hour.

But the visitor made the same pattern this whole time.

Up and down the stairs. Across the bedroom hallway.

Around the coffee table, next to the couch.

Then in an instant, it just stopped.

It just went back up the stairs and did not come back down.

I still could not move. I waited for it to start again.

It did not come back this night.

I could not get up from my safety spot.

I laid there with the blanket over my head until I could see the sun peeking through the window through my blanket.

My body was so stiff and sore because I had literally froze myself in fear. But, I survived.

What a sweet day!

I was totally throwing out some sarcasm with my title here.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day in bed. And it was not for the fun stuff.

I came down with some sort of crud. Sore throat. Sinus headache. weak, lethargic, sleepy.

I did get up and join the fam for a little bit and saw what little surprises the Coach had for me.

I adore Tulips.

Tulips kick the butts of roses.

I also love sweets.

I was a little surprised after I ‘unwrapped’ the box of truffles and one was already missing!!! It was funny actually…I suppose the factory was in a hurry the day my chocolates were made!!!

Coach always picks out a nice card…and he usually adds his own poem for me as well.

I won’t share that part, because I can’t be responsible for you kicking your husbands butt for NOT writing you a poem as well.

Forizzle, what is his problem? :0

We did have a very romantic dinner on Saturday night. It was just us in this quaint little restaurant, music playing, candlelit tables. So sweet.

Kidding. We ate at a wing joint with 4 teenagers. And it was perfectly enjoyable.

I just realized that this was our 24th valentines day together…where does the time go?

Feeling better today. The kids are home from school. Might possibly get something done besides cleaning out my TIVO.

Happy VD!

 

 

 

M y Dad always referred to Valentines day as VD day.

I may have ‘caught’ this trait from him.

The coach and I don’t make a big ta-do of VD.

Doesn’t that make you happy? I know it pleases the children. ewww.

I wish for everyone a day of love that you can feel all year round, from your spouse, family, kids, friends, pets and random strangers. 

But, please be wary of the random strangers. They may really have VD.

TGIF; Dancing and Dirt Diving

 

Last night the girls had 2 extra curricular events…and I was able to see both of them with my very own eyeballs.

Linds had her dance at the fair. It was a make up night from last week, when the show was rained out.

She did so great. She gets all her moves from her Mama.

She was in 3 dances…and I loved each of them. Two of them were lyrical; elegant, graceful and beautiful.

And one was GHETTO.

Well, I loved the first two…but come on, ghetto is more exciting, right?

Linds is on the far right, in the back wearing the tank… Then she moves up to the front, and then to the back. (Nobody puts baby in a corner!)

She was NOT supposed to be smiling, but she said she could not help it.

(if you pause for about 3 seconds, it loads better)

So? How low can YOU GO???

I don’t know who that crazy woman was cackling laughing.

LoLo and Coach had their first home game of the season. I did not think I could get there in time to see much after all the dancing, but we took a chance.

We were an hour late, but still had plenty of game to watch. LoLo had a triple and did an excellent job as 2nd basewoman..She could have a future on the DIVING team.

She gets all her mad athletic skills from me someone else.

The game ended up in a tie in the 7th inning..and the 8th inning.. and the 9th inning. Finally Da’Bears pulled it out in the 10th inning for a sweet victory!!!

The girls were really pumped up, considering they played for over 3 hours!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did I ever tell you that 99 is my favorite number???? IT IS!!!!

I don’t know what we are doing this weekend…maybe I will write some more about my “"mystery." 

How about you? Any ghetto dancing or softball playing in your weekend plans? Do you enjoy playing diving in the dirt??

Diving into anything other than a nice plate of food scares the bejeesus out of ME.

Raise your left hand if you are still snowed in.  

Raise your right hand if you were rained out this week.

Raise both hands if you are happy it is FRIDAY!!!

Ya’ll look pretty silly.

 

BEE FUN! BEE WARM! BEE SWEET!

 

Living with the (Un)living.

The first memory of my visitor was when I was around 12 or 13 years old.

It was the middle of the night and I was happily asleep…perhaps dreaming of my boyfriend Scott Baio.

I was in such a deep sleep that it was a struggle to comprehend what I was hearing…it took a few minutes or seconds, I am not for sure.

Then my brain came out of the fog long enough to figure out what I was hearing.

It sounded like someone walking in our third floor hallway, where our three bedrooms were located.

My bedroom door was wide open, it always was.

I glanced in the direction of the hall from my bed, and could see nothing. It was dark, but I would surely see if someone was standing there.

I thought that maybe it was part of a dream.

I tried to go back to sleep, in a moment, I would realize that was futile.

There it is again…that sound of someone slowly creeping by my room, past my brothers room and towards Mom’s room.

Then the steps came back in the direction of my room.

And stopped.

What?

Who is that?

What is that?

I froze.

I stared at the black ceiling over my bed.

My brain was working overtime. Trying to digest this.

I could faintly hear my brothers stereo through the paper thin walls…at 16, he lived with his headphones on connected to his stereo, drowning out the world around him.

Gosh, how I wished it was him walking around in the middle of the night.

The steps then made the same path as before…passing Marks room towards Mom’s.

and then back.

And then, the creeping went down the stairs.

In this wood framed townhouse, you could hear every little creak and crack.

It went down the stairs slowly…then came back up.

It then made the same tracks up and down the hall but quicker now. Someone was in a hurry.

After a few more minutes, it descended the stair well again, but faster than the first time.

This was my chance. My chance for escape.

I grabbed my pillow.

I put my pillow over my face and ran out of my room to my Mom’s room, lucky that I did not run into a wall.

I made a huge leap into her king sized bed and thanked the good lord she was home this night.

I snuggled in close.

Mom was dead asleep.

Dead to the world and the happenings in our house.

But she was there.

SAVERS

Life Savers

Marriage Savers

Eat * Poop * Listen.

I want to share with you some of my faves.

I am a sharer.

Whether you like it or not.

A few of my favorite things as of late:

*EAT*

Sugar snap peas.

These are the best; sweet and crunchy. Almost like potato chips or a Hershey bar. Well, almost if you have never had either of those. These little nuggets of love make a great snack. Zap them in the microwave for a few minutes and EAT. Full of vitamins and very little calories!!!

*POOP*

This new cat litter works great!!

IT is biodegradable and made with readily renewable resources!

The best part? I don’t get a hernia picking it up at the store…a little of this goes a lot further than the old clumping stuff I was using, and weighs almost NOTHING. Well, I wasn’t using it, the cats were.

You knew that, right?

*LISTEN*

The Coffee House channel on XM satellite radio. (and direct TV)

It is songwriters/singers doing acoustical pieces. I never thought I would like it, but I LOVE it. Mellow and catchy. On direct TV it is channel 848. On XM satellite radio it is channel 51.

I don’t watch TV much during the day, but I love having music on in the background., it especially makes cooking dinner more enjoyable.

Did you think this post was going to have anything to do with the book and soon to be movie Eat, Pray, Love?

Clearly, it was just like that.

Suzy Suzy Quite Controozy, how does your Garden grow?

Or something like that.

We’ve got our farm garden started!!!

my seedlings

I could take all the credit for this accomplishment, but that would not be fair.

I could take all the glory, ‘cause being a farmer is glorious, but that would not be fair.

The coach did all the work.

I only helped a little.

I did the seedlings. I cleaned up some of his work. I plugged in the IPod for him to enjoy while he worked.

I am fragile, like a butterfly. A farmer butterfly. NOT to be confused with a butterfly farmer.

I lied.

I did NOT plug in his IPod.

He did.

Before.

Looking away from the house.

And looking towards the house.

The golf cart is our tractor.

Coach dug and then tilled this out for me…

after he worked his full work week at the office.

After he worked his full work week of coaching (after his full days at the office.)

After he worked (7hrs) on Saturday getting his home-field ready for their home opener.

And before he went to enjoy the super bowl on Sunday.

What a man.

I am humbled by his selflessness.

I asked him after it was all done if he was excited about the upcoming farm garden.

He said: If it makes you excited, then I am excited for you.

I am so lucky.

I bet Brad Pitt never dug a garden for Jennifer Angelina.

For Valentines day, I will give him a bouquet of lettuce and tomatoes.

Ok, maybe it will take longer than that.

I bet he would prefer something else anyway.

"ewwwwwww"

Oh, that ewww sound you just heard? That was Lo and Linds reading this.

"ewww....My parents LOVE each other.”

So gross.

They don’t know how lucky they are.

How was your weekend?

Did you work in the yard?

Read ‘People magazine’ while sitting in the hot tub?

Wash and dry massive amounts of laundry?

Catch up on your email and bill paying?

Cook Chili on Sunday?

Did you make someone go ewwww?

me too.

TGIF; Sicko in da’ hizzle.

If you are over 40, that means:

I am under the weather inside my personal residence.

I had to look that up in my english to slang traslation book.

I have not had a cold in at least a year, so I won’t complain too much. But it does stink, if only I could smell…

**sniffle**

I am shocked I even got sick, since the girls and I have been eating our weight in these little Clementine's. They are so sweet.

But it took me until yesterday to realize that they come from SPAIN!!!! Which is crazy, since we reside in the citrus Capital of the united states!!! I should be ashamed..and I am.

**head hanging low**

Coach and Lo had their first high school softball game last night. He is working with a skeleton crew and lots of newbies...the season will be interesting.

No. They did not win.

**POUTING**

Linds has dance performance tonight. She learned a new hip hop dance a few weeks ago that they will perform. When I asked her to describe the dance, she exclaimed: “IT. is. SO. GHETTO!”

I can’t wait. I love ghetto.

**Insert hip ghetto move from me**

Owie, that hurt my actual HIP!

Guess who is going where on Sunday?!?

Not me. I have no business being there. Or desire.

I would rather have a nice salad bowl, or an ice cream bowl. Now, that would be super!

The Coach is going with his Dad. I am sure they will have a memorable day.

Nothing exciting for me this weekend. Hopefully I will be able to fully breathe out of both my nostrils soon.

Breathing is not overrated.

How about you? What are you doing that I can be envious of????

Share. Dish. Spill IT!

Bee Healthy.

Seeing like a cat; falling like a blind cat.

I have always prided myself on my great eyesight.

*LIAR*LIAR* Pants on fire!

OK, I used to pride myself on my good eyesight. It checked out of Casa De’ Suz exactly 3 weeks before my 40th birthday.

BUT, I do have great eyesight inSiDe MY house. Really.

I never put on the lights in the middle of the night when I awake for a potty trip or a drink of water.

Lights are for sissies.

I don’t need no stinkin’ lights I tell ya’.

Just like the cats, I could make my way around the house.

in.the.dark.

BUT.

While I don’t need lights to see, I do need someone to remind me when I have moved something a mere 3 hours prior to my nightly adventure.

The other night, I turned my nose upward at the bounty of light switches and blindly walked down the hallway.

But I could not ignore the rolls of fabric and miscellaneous stuff that I pulled out of the hall closet earlier.

I forgot about that part of my day until I was mid-air… falling down on my front side!

Perhaps the ugliest swan dive you have ever seen...

Did you know that you can bruise your, um, your lady lumps?

I landed flat on my lady parts, and my left hand/arm.

I don’t know where my right (and stronger) arm was. Maybe it was in shock that I/we were falling?

Ouch.

(Yes 2 days in a row now with the lady parts talk!)

I am just so happy that no one (besides the shocked cats) saw or heard this little stunt.

I started to chuckle at the sight of myself, sprawled out on the floor.

So pretty. So classy. Demure. So full of Grace.

Lesson learned: Start wasting electricity. It can save my life.

My Shadow Ozzie heard me taking pictures…

I can read his mind, he was saying:

You better move that stuff “Grace”, you will trip eventually!

If he only knew…

Cooking is Messy, but also good for your skin.

Or could have titled this: I am 9 years old.

My Afghanistan born friend KBL, wrote about an amazing dish she loves to cook for herself and her belovED.

No, not the recipe that included Testical Gyros.

That one I will skip.

for now.

ok, forever.

This Chicken dish looked really good to me…AND she invited me over for dinner.

How nice is that?

Well, it was a nice gesture, but when I got out my globe, I saw just how far San Diego is.

SNAP.

I was going to have to make this dish myself.

It is chicken based with rice and spice spice baby.

Some of the ingredients and directions were foreign to me.

But hey, if KBL can do it, so can Suz.

*fingers were crossed*

First she told me I had to marinate my breasts in BUTTERMILK, salt, pepper and garlic.

How odd is that?

Quite frankly, this became very messy and frustrating…I could not keep the buttermilk in place, it was slippery..

I had always heard that folks in CA were more adventurous…but I gave it a shot.

That is how I roll.

The buttermilk was all over, drippy, messy.

Then I just got a clean shirt and got over it. Cocoa was looking for some drippings. The pups are always looking for a snacky snack.

Meanwhile, I baked a loaf of buttermilk-wheat bread and threw a salad at the table in a bowl.

Arroz Con Pollo

It was scrumptious.

The bread helped to sop up the drenched chest moist deliciousness that this dinner held.

And a benefit of all this buttermilk?

My décolletage is clear, shiny and youthful.

To get the correct recipe and PICTURES too, go visit KBL.

Tell her Suz sent you…just so you don’t look like a stalker.

ps. You know that is not my picture. right?

My pearls are much smaller.