June 26, 2015

TGIF~Like sands through the was this past week.

Time is just a slip, slip, slipping away. All week long I had thoughts to blog about, but didn't find the time to sit and write type them down.

While we were all still in GA after Mom passed we packed up *most* of her apartment. The girls boxed up things they would like to have, as did I. A lot of the furniture LoLo wanted to keep for her future place; Linds is still looking at a few years of dorm life.
This past weekend Lolo, her BF and her BF's brother drove up there in one of our work trucks and (with the help of my Aunt and Uncle) loaded it all up and drove back home.

I went up to our shop on Monday to pick up my boxes and see where they were going to 'store' my Mom's furniture until Lolo could use it.
Seeing all my Mom's beloved items there in the corner of our warehouse was almost too much.
Unpacking the boxes over the next few days proved to be too much for my fragile heart.
Seeing her stuff as well as some of my Brother's stuff....made me feel like an orphan.
So, I had myself a good old fashioned pity party.
Of course, in the midst of my pity party I found a few things to laugh about. 
(My mother and brother both had a love for QVC....I'll share that little nugget soon, because I'm unsure if we were really related.)

I'm getting through it. Gosh darn That grief.....she is an evil Mo'Fo. 

So, without making this a dull, down in the dumps post I want to share something that I did for my Mom as a birthday gift back in April. 

Mom has had this huge cabinet forever. Or at least back to around 1988. 
For the last 5 years or so, she's wanted to paint it. But that was a big undertaking.

I figured since I was there hanging out with her, I might as well take on the challenge between Dr's appointments. It took me about 4 days total. The color is not nearly as periwinkle as it shows; more of a soft blue with a black top. 
Mom loved it so much. I only wish she was able to enjoy it longer.

 Lolo wanted it something bad, and since it's really more country than our house, I thought it would be great for her next place. 
I know that my Mom would be SO pleased that the girls and I will be using her beloved items in our homes. The cabinet, tables, her beloved Johnson Bros dishes, silverware, stainless pots/pans etc.

Oh, and her milk glass collection? I practically had to shank Lolo for that!

Wishing you all a sweet weekend with your favorite people. 
Me? I'm cleaning out my garden and sorting through some of my favorite peoples stuff. 

June 19, 2015

TGIF~Laughing is way better than crying

I'm going to try and get back into my blogging routine. *TRY*
Did you know that I really blogged for my Mom? 
With her living in GA and my living in FL it was a great way to keep her updated. 
Mom making Thanksgiving gravy...geeze, now I have to figure out how to do this!
She loved reading my words and of course enjoyed all of your comments as well. Hopefully she has a good internet connection and can continue enjoying my nonsense.

Mom watching the 'after Thanksgiving football' game where someone would surely be injured.
So....being a silly person who comes from a silly family, there were a few silly moments in the last days of turmoil.

We made the decision to move my Mom to hospice on Tuesday June 9th. I thought I was going to have to shank her oncologist as he was still wanting to do more procedures to/on her; but I knew better. She was out of her mind in pain. {everyone NEEDS an advocate!}
It took a few hours, but we finally got her into a beautiful hospice facility. The head nurse on duty there told us that sometimes it helps if you 'tell' your person that it's ok to let go; to give up, to move on.

My Aunt Trisha went outside to make some phone calls and I had a few minutes with my Mom. 
I told her all the important stuff and said that it was ok if she was ready to 'leave us'. (she was heavily sedated)
Trisha came back in and I told her that I had the 'talk'.
Trisha said:  "Coach and the girls won't be here until late tonight; don't you want them to be able to see her?" 
Me: "Oh, Mom, erase, erase....I take it back, never mind!!" 

Again....she was always working to feed the rest of us!

My mom passed away very early on Thursday morning. My Aunt had spent the night with her at the hospice facility and came home later that morning. (I was with her the night before)
That afternoon, my Aunt Trisha was bent over with her head in the freezer looking for something, when she heard behind her my voice saying: "Do you know where my Mom is?"
She turned around with a shocked face, wondering if I'd lost my marbles....then realized it was Lindsay looking for me.
We had a good chuckle about that.
Suz, Aunt Trisha, Bev/mom and Linds-Thanksgiving 2013

The next evening, we went to visit my Cuz Patrick at his home and to give him the 'news'. We were having a lovely family moment on Patrick's front porch when all of a sudden SIRI (iPhone lady) spoke loudly from my Aunts Purse: "Beverly, I don't understand what you're saying."
We all broke out into laughter at the timing of this. (Aunt Trisha had my Mom's phone in her purse and apparently was inadvertently pushing SiRi's button)

Thanksgiving 2014....seriously, when she was here, she was in the kitchen!

I'm getting through this. 
Day by day. 

I really want to thank all of you for your kind words, comments, emails, text messages. I'm really feeling the love. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful group of friends (virtual and down the street) as well as my people. My people are the best people. 
I keep telling everyone that I'm doing well. And I really am. I'll miss my Mom forever and ever....but honestly we were in such a good place. I have NO regrets regarding our relationship. We loved each other (warts and all) and I know that I did everything I could possibly do to help her fight this horrid disease. My Mother was my BIGGEST cheerleader. 
Plus, I'll see her again one day. Until then, she can soak up the joy of my brother Mark.

June 15, 2015

Losing Beverly

My Mom left us the morning of Thursday June 11th.
Her last few months were a struggle, but being who she is, she still found time for laughter.
That's how she rolled.
I'm forever thankful for the time we had together.
I'm forever thankful for the team we had in place to care for her.
I'm forever thankful for the Mom that she was.
I'm forever thankful to have no regrets in regards to our relationship.
She taught me many things; how to laugh at yourself, how to giggle at others, how to be a giver, how to be a friend, how to love your people unconditionally. Seriously, that IS THE stuff that matters.
My Aunt Trisha was with her at the time she passed. When Trisha came home that morning she said something that struck me with such veracity.
"We come into this life with nothing and we leave with nothing. The only things that really matter are our relationships and our experiences with people."
She is 100% correct.

I'll post more later; this is all I can muster up today.
I'm blessed to have a lovely circle of family and friends; my people are the best.

RIP my sweet and sassy Mama
Bev and Suz, Thanksgiving 2014

 Go hug someone; it's the least you can do.