Dear Karma,

I have thought about you many times during the years. I have even blogged about you, remember my post about the mean bully girls in high school that now break mirrors simply by passing them? Yes, I have always believed in you Karma. And I know you can’t be everywhere, every time, for everyone. A lot of people do great things in this world and aren't able to meet you.

On Friday morning, as I was going about my business, running errands all morning hoping to get back home to meet my oven repair man, I hardly gave you a thought.

While I was in line at Publix, checking out, you were the furthest thing from my mind. I was thinking: Gosh, I should have got the special milk for Patrick and Uncle Jim..what am I going to cook for dinner on Saturday? Do I have sour cream at home for the mashed potatoes? Does Taylor Swift have to be on the cover of every magazine?

Suddenly, I snapped out of my thoughts and noticed the nice lady in front of me. She and I ran into each other twice during my shopping that morning, the first time as we walked into the store together, she gave me a nice smile. I noticed the little toddler with her, he was cute, fair haired and smiling. We had our 2nd run-in as she was trying to come out of an isle, and I was turning into this same isle, with all the displays on both sides, we had no room. I quickly retreated backwards and we both giggled…I realized this was not the isle I wanted anyway and I told her ”I really don’t know where I am going”..she smiled and laughed politely. She appeared to be Spanish, but understood my English well.

I noticed in the check out line, that while we had both been shopping the same amount of time, I clearly had a FULL cart, hers was nearly empty. She had a 12 pack of generic soda, a case of water, some rice, a few pieces of fruit and a quart of milk. I was loading up all my stuff on the conveyor belt while she was paying. I heard the cashier say in the nicest voice: “Your card is not going through. Do you have cash or a check?” I looked up just in time to see the look of horror on her face. She started digging in her purse. A moment or two passed and she started counting cash. She had very little. She had no check book. The line behind me was getting longer and my heart was getting heavier. I quickly dug into my wallet, so thankful to find a 20 dollar bill. (I never know what I may find in there) I discreetly asked the cashier if this would cover her bill and handed her my 20. The lady looked at me, and her eyes started to well up. She said: No, I will put something back..I think I have money in the car… It is ok.

I told her it was fine, I did not mind at all. She could not even talk anymore, she just came to me and gave me a big hug and a thank you…she stammered that she would go to her car and look for money, I told her NO, this is what I want to do today and that I don’t mind. She was in tears. Of course, I am the sissy girl, I cry at everything anyway and seeing her upset made me tear up too. She thanked me again and left the store. I received change from the cashier, and thought for a second that I should also give this to my friend in need…for you should never be left with NO cash. (although I am cashless some of the time)

The cashier told me how nice that was of me, as well as the very patient gentleman behind me. I did not need them to tell me, all I had to do was look into this mother’s eyes and see her thankfulness.

But Karma, my dear friend, I know you were there. I felt you when I left the store, when I loaded all my goodies in the car and when I unloaded them at home. I felt you even more when my oven repair man was actually able to repair my oven that very day. That I did not have to wait on ‘special order’ parts, or even worse, order a new oven. Thank you Karma. You are my bestie. You have made my Thanksgiving.

Who would have imagined that 9.00 could make someone’s day. I would be glad to do it again, and for now on, I will make sure I always have a little bit of cash on hand…you just never know when it can make a difference in someone's day.

Pulling the Wool over the Pickle Eater’s Eyes

Have you met my 13year old? She is a professional pickle eater. But her profession is limited to ONLY one kind of pickle. I have blogged about them before. They are precariously tangy and sweet. Just perfect.

They are Wickles.

A Wickedly delicious pickle.

 

They are da’ bomb and we go through many of jars of these babies, much thanks to the Pickle Eater. I have looked into buying them in bulk, but there is no cost savings involved. poop.

When a new grocery store opened up around the corner a few months ago, I was aghast to see they did not carry Wickles. I was now in a pickle. Someone was not happy that we did not have a stockpile of pickles in the pantry.

I tried to explain to her the predicament. I did not want to travel farther to another store just to purchase pickles. She made a pouty pucker. AND you know, I am a sucker.

On my next trip to our store, I found a comparable jar of pickles. It claimed to be spicy and sweet…ah ha, just like our Wickles. I have found a replacement and amazingly enough, they are cheaper than Wickles.

I made the purchase and brought them home with a big smile ready for her to give me a big smooch on my pucker!

“Hey Pickle Eater, look what I got for you!!!!” 

One nibble later, she declared: “These are not Wickles!” I tasted them, and I agreed. NOT even close.

Fast forward a few months later and my store finally carries Wickles. We were out of our pickle minds with glee.

But still, in the back of the fridge was the opened jar of non-Wickles pickles. The imposter pickles.

As the pickle eater was going through jar after jar of Wickles, the others just sat there in the back next to the nasty pickled okra.

Coach had a brilliant idea. He told me told me that  when she finishes a jar of Wickles, transfer the imposters over into the Wickle Juice and Wickle jar. She will never know!

So that is what I did.

Last night, she opened up the imposter jar of Wickles and immediately knew something was awry. “They have changed the pickles! Look, they have ridges in them!!”

I could barely keep a straight face, and tried to look indifferent.

She forged on and applied them to her burger.

ONE bite into the burger, the Jig was UP. She knew they were not Wickles. And she was MAD. I told her it was her Dad’s idea. She was still mad at me for going along with the plan and vowed not to speak to me the rest of the night. I was fine with my punishment, but it only lasted 13 seconds.

She loves me too much. And she loves to talk. And no one else was home to talk to at the time.

She removed the pickles from her burger, pointed her index finger at them and said: “Bad, you are not Wickles, you are not worthy of my burger!”

Yes, we even talk to our food here.

But she left a message for her Father to see when he came home:

What do you get when you mix used cards and little kids?

Good Stuff!!!

My Fellow tree hugging friend, Shelley At Building A Log Cabin wrote about this wonderful program at St. Jude’s and in turn, I will share it with you. It is the greenest & sweetest idea I have seen in a long time!

Wondering what to do with all those Christmas cards you receive this year? Don't throw them away! Instead, join me in sending the used card fronts to St. Jude's Ranch!

St. Jude’s Ranch for Children rescues abused, abandoned and neglected children of all races and faiths from the vicious cycle of child abuse. They provide healing and nurturing in a safe home-like environment where children can learn life skills to start new lives with new chances, new choices and new hope.

"The children participate in making the new cards by removing the front and attaching a new back. The result is a beautiful new card made by the children and volunteers. The benefits are two-fold: customers receive "green" holiday cards for use and the children receive payment for their work and learn the benefits and importance of "going green".

Cards may be donated by sending them to:
St. Jude's Ranch for Children
Recycled Card Program
100 St. Jude's Street
Boulder City, NV 89005

Thank you so much Shelley for bringing this to my attention. BTW: They would love any occasion cards…birthday, thank you, Easter, Valentines day, etc…

So, save up a little pile and send them soon! And please, pass the word around, this is so easy to do and makes such an impact!! And, in turn, I will be your best friend. That is priceless.

The upside of Face Book; reuniting with an old bully.

I have touched on it before; high school sucked big ol’ lemons for me.

Mid way through 10th grade I moved again. I was at my third high school.

We all know how wonderful and welcoming teenage girls are to each other, but imagine being 5 ft nothing and 80 lbs. I was quiet. I was nervous. I was terrified of being ‘jumped’ in this huge school in the middle of the ‘hood. I was approached in the hallways to buy drugs … I saw and heard things I had only seen on TV documentaries.

I was living the opposite of “green acres”….this was not the place for me.

It took some time, but I finally settled in. I had a circle of friends and I was going to survive…but there was a thorn in my side…at the end of my school days…and my thorn was the ‘bus bully.’

The bus bully was a real humdinger. She had no reason to be mean to me other than she was a mean spirited beyotch. Oh how I loathed her. Oh, how I wished a dozen curses on her.

Well, my wish has been granted. kinda. One of my Face Book friends just became ‘friends’ with the bully. (apparently she only bullied short/skinny/new chicks)

I was able to see a picture of the bully.

Oh my lucky day!!! Thank you SO much karma. BB has not only been hit with the ugly stick several hundred times, she was also run over by the ‘horrid hair of the 80’s’ bus!

Plain and simple, she looks like crap.

I know it is not nice to wish bad hair upon people…but I can only hope under that mop of hair and frumpy clothes that she is miserable and constantly battles cold sores.

I only had to do a little editing on PicNik. (I love that site) She is all ready for next Halloween. I did not edit the hair…that over-permed stringy mop is all hers!

Paybacks.

This has made my week. This brought on a spontaneous happy dance that was so much fun, I actually burnt calories without realizing it!

Wouldn’t an event like this bring everyone a little joy…Or is there something wrong with me?

Did you ever get bullied in school or in the neighborhood? Would you love to see them now…perhaps behind bars or on ‘Cops’?

H= A ‘Handfull’ of my favorite H vocabulary words.

Hogwash! I just love this word. You should all vow to use it at least ONE time daily. I say break it out at your next business meeting or PTA event. Please put an exclamation point behind it as well for more impact. 

Hoity toity: hoity-toity pompous, self important and snobbish.

That is what my Dad’s third wife (Mama Kong) referred to me as. (mind you, I was only 21)  If the shoe fits, I will wear that title. By the way, anyone who wore shoes inside the 7-11…she referred to as Hoity Toity.  Yep, she was waaay classy.   Classy=ending up on 2 daytime talk shows (one of them Maury) 2 weeks after your husband dies. I should write a book.

Hog tie: What the police have to do to some crazy folks on ‘Cops.’  Speaking of ‘Cops’, a few weeks ago Coach came out of his man cave and said the funniest line ever to me: “I have been watching cops for so many years, and today, finally today, I recognize someone I know on Cops.” Knowing the group he grew up with, it is a huge surprise this took so long. 

 

Holier than thou: What I feel at times, but really, it is just a passing phase. I promise.

Homo sapiens: Who I hope is reading this blog. Or is it WHOM? Does that make me more hoity toity that I am concerned with grammar rules?

Homo phobia: Not this girl. I embrace anyone with taste as good as or better than mine. I actually need more gay friends. If they are hoity toity, all the better.

Honey Comb: That silly cereal commercial with the song that I can still sing verbatim. “Honeycomb’s big, ya ya ya, it’s not small, no no no.”

Hook {a girl} Up: I shall use this in a sentence. Me holding a nice shoe and speaking to the shoe salesman at Macy’s: “Hi, can you hook a girl up with this in size 8?” If he knows what is good for him, he will, or else I will shout HOGWASH!! and then HOG TIE him right there in the ‘better shoes’ department!

Just kidding. I don’t use the work hook-up outside the house. I have my limits. barely.

To see how some normal folks used the letter H today, visit:  A-Z Mondays!!!   And hook a girl up for heaven's sake! 

Tagged…and I am IT.

I was tagged by the wonderful Modern Mom..

Modern Mom’s blog is How to Survive Life in the Suburbs. She should write a manual… because she has the best advice and the funniest observations ever! And it never hurts to be from Canada…love me some nice Canadians-A !!

I don’t always play along with tags, but since she chose ONLY me out of her 1200 317 followers, I thought I should abide. And she is taller than myself, surely should could put a hurtin’ on me.

The question is: What makes you a True Authentic/Modern Mom?

*I am a truthful Mom. I don’t sugar coat, too much sugar rots your teeth and we have spent a bazillion dollars on teeth around here. If my girls put on an outfit that looks weird to me, I will be the first one to tell them. I try to do this in a tactful way. And sometimes, my opinion means nothing and sometimes it means something. But, they know I am honest when they DO ask me my opinion. If I say it looks good, they know I am being honest.

*I am a fun Mom; with rules. It can be done. Just ask my girls. If you do the hard work at the beginning (house rules, manners, expectations) then they already know right from wrong and you can sit back and enjoy them with some minor tweaking here and there. We joke and laugh all the time..they are two of my favorite-est peeps to hang out with, but they know they can’t manipulate.

*I will go to the ends of the earth for them, and they know this. Lucky for me, this big step is not required on a daily basis.

*I love my husband. My kids see how much I love him. My girls know what a great Dad he is. My kids see what a healthy marriage looks like. We are not perfect, but pretty darn happy. I feel we are giving them a good example of what life can be like when you make good choices.

*I am trying to teach them to be realists in life, how to have fun (no matter your age) how to live as good a life as you can, how to do little things to help our planet…all on a daily basis. Just writing this, it sounds like I do more than I do. I find it pretty easy. Of course, having a great family makes it easy.

Modern Mom tagged only one peep…I shall tag 2. Play along if you like…or not, no biggie.

I am going to tag:

Caution at The Human Race, she has a nice brood at home and constantly finds the funny in everything! Plus, she leaves me the wittiest comments..you know I love funny!

I am going out on a limb here because he is not a Mom, but he is a Modern Dad: Jason at The Jason Show he and his man-cake husband are raising a great modern family. Mix in an ex wife, miscellaneous kids, in laws and living on Wisteria lane…he always has something going on!

Leave me a comment about what makes you a true authentic Mom (or Dad, or Uncle, or Aunt)

TGI {random} F

I have been on a purging rampage this week. Not a food purging, I bond with my groceries too easily for that.  I am de-cluttering cabinets, drawers and closets. This rampage is benefiting a local charity.  I not only have issues with clutter I can see…I have issues with clutter behind closed doors. If only I could get rid of my X-ray eyesight!

***

We are having glorious weather here. Thank goodness Mother Nature finally turned her calendar page from August to November. A minute later, and I would have packed my bags and moved north. Of course, North for me would be N. Florida. Lets NOT get crazy.

Brrrr…it is 74 degrees!! 

***

Lo got hit in the face by a softball on Tuesday night. I don’t remember her ever getting hit in the face before (in 11 years!!) But her sweet perfect lips have gone through some transformations this week. On Tuesday night, she looked a little bit like Angelina Jolie. By Thursday night, she looked a bit more like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. (at the end, when she was beat up) Bless her heart…she kept on keeping on.

***

Linds is still rising above the mean girls. I now refer to the mean girls as: The Raccoons, for all the black eyeliner/eye shadow they wear…plus they have the nerve to dye their hair black too. Ugghh.  I told her last night how proud I was of her for not cowering down. She already knows that if idiots call you names, it means nothing. We have had the conversation about: If someone you actually cared about was mean to you, well then that would mean something. She is a better person for it.

***

Heading to Costco today, for I am out of gum. Doesn’t everyone buy their gum by the case(s)? I am always end up annoyed because of the ‘sample vultures.’ You know those people, they hover around the sample tables and clog up ALL mobility in the store. HELLO People, they are giving away a piece of ham the size of your thumbnail, NOT gold bars!!! Makes me almost want to put off purchasing my 12 year supply of dental floss. Almost. But we all know how important flossing is!!!

Do you ever shop at those warehouse stores? What do you buy?

Happy weekend everyone. I hope you have glorious weather, fun family moments and stress free shopping!!!

Those {Crazy} Starbuck’s Moms.

The Scene: Lindsay’s orthodontist waiting room.

The Perpetrator: Very loud, cell phone talking, coffee drinking Mom.

The victims: everyone within shouting distance.

The perpetrator Mom forgot she was in public and had the loudest discussion on her cell phone regarding a lamp she was ordering for her PIANO!!  SO, yes ,the was an important conversation that could not wait, or even possibly have been taken outside.

I was so annoyed, could not even read ONE page of my book.

When we finally left the office and I could almost hear myself think, Linds said to me “She seems like one of those crazy starbuck’s moms”

This made me laugh so hard. I don’t know where she got this phrase from.

I don’t do Starbucks. But I am a little crazy.

I find it funny that even my 13 year old knows bad cell phone etiquette when she sees it…so how come this 40 something woman did not know better? 

I would love to call HER mom and tell her she received an F in teaching manners.

Of course, I would phone her in the proper setting. Like a normal person.

If only I had her Mom’s number….

16 years, 3 months, 27 days.

That is how long I have feared this:

 

 

We had an eventful day off from school.

There were many hoops to jump through:

*getting important documents out of safe deposit box

*driving to next county to borrow a small truck from the business, so Lo did not have to drive my ‘bus’ for the test. (although she drives the bus wonderfully, parking can be a challenge)

*finding out that borrowed truck has been used by someone who smoked a bajillion cigarettes.

*taking smelly truck to car wash and buying enough air freshener to kill the ozone. (sorry earth)

And a few ah-ha moments:

*having my girls finally see ‘crank’ windows..for the first time.

*having my girls realize how spoiled they are with our nice vehicles that have space for more than 2.5 people.  The 3 of us were a little too close in this mini small cab truck.

Lo passing her test on the first try: Priceless!

Now if she could keep her grades up, there may be a vehicle in her future. (maybe with crank windows!!) Then I will have to figure out how to keep her home!!!

I=Interesting

I could not think of a great I word today. But I do have some interesting tidbits from Sunday.

The girls and I were driving out to Lo’s school for scrimmage softball games. A few miles from our house we see this flashing sign on the side of the road:

Caution Caution Caution

Watch for Loose Cattle.

The girls and laughed it up. Of course, you know with my wacky brain…I was picturing LOOSE cattle; Cows with push-up bras, high heels and deep red lipstick. .

And I totally thought of YOU (Caution) as well. 

 

 

Then, midway through the third game of the day, Coach casually shouts in the direction of the spectators:

“Is there a Dad here brave enough to go catch that baby alligator in right field?” 

A moment passed amid gasps and still no one volunteered. Coach ran out there and shooed the ‘baby’ alligator out of the fence line.

I would not classify him as a ‘baby’…more like a teenager. He was about 3-4 feet long.

Needless to say, the rest of the game the outfielders were more concerned about what might be behind them than the balls coming at them.

Hopefully, the lil’ guy went back to the lake and told the tale of his day!

Coach told us later on regarding the lil’ gator: I think he was scared! How does one know if a gator is scared??

 

I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Minus reptiles and running  bovine!!! 

 

 

Happy Monday to everyone.

A-Z Mondays brought to you in part by Jen at Unglazed!