- When the girls were younger, they asked me one day for a brother. I told them: "you already have a brother; Bob. He does not behave, so he lives in the attic. If you don't behave, you will also live in the attic." We still discuss Bob. Some of their friends even ask about him on occasion too. Yeah, we are a little wacky. But Bob likes us that way.
- When the girls would act out physically as little ones...you know, jumping around, bouncing, like little kids do, we would tell them that they are going to hurt themselves. "We would tell them that when they hurt themselves, then they will have to go to the hospital. When they go to the hospital, they will have to get a shot. .....In the eye." Of course, they did not believe us......Still, when they have to get their shots today...they always want to know: "Just where am I getting this shot?"
There are more. I must dispense tid-bits like these in small doses.
Still patiently waiting for that Mother of the year award.
hello?
***tap***tap***tap***
anyone out there???
Oh, hang up the phone...you don't need to call child and family services...the girls are fine.
If they were disturbed, would my youngest say THIS to me?
really. they are.
What lies did your parents tell you?
any doozies? you know, I could use some more....
well they used to wrap my school lunch up in a map and when i'd got home they'd moved.
ReplyDeletebut i'm sure it was all in good fun.
:-))
LOL! I can't remember at this moment the things my parents told me...that was oh so long ago and my mind isn't functioning yet this morning. I know there are things I told my children too and when I think of them I will have to come back here and post them.
ReplyDeleteYep, I'm still waiting for my mother of the year award too!
LOL! We used to tell our kids that the motion sensors in the house were really "Santa cams" and that "either Santa or one of his elves were constantly watching".... (isn't that awful????)
ReplyDeleteAlso, the house we live in now has a basement - our last house did not. A basement is a huge LURE to little kids, but we didn't want them to go down there, so we'd tell them that a flock of hissing geese lived down there (when they were little, we were all chased by some hissing geese near a lake at our house... very traumatic for the little ones).
My sister was a VERY picky eater as a child, so most of the doozies my parents told were directed at her. One that she now uses with her girls was, "If you don't eat the crust on your bread, your eyelashes will fall out." (My old-world Italian parents were having NO part of cutting the crust off anything, despite my sister's whining. All the "little white girls" on our block ate their sandwiches that way, so she wanted to, too.)
ReplyDeleteOne that we used with our kids, that I'm pretty sure came from my mom, was "Let me see your tongue!" This is what we said if we thought the kids were lying. We told them that if they were lying, their tongues would turn black. It worked every time!
I'll be back later with more :)
I told my little brother that if he didn't get out of the bathtub when I opened the drain, it would suck him down. I was not the most patient of big sisters!!
ReplyDeleteMy parents insist we are related. My brother and I don't believe them. There's just no way!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny; you could do stand-up, -really - you could! I can't think of any lies, since my parents are (sometimes brutally) honest, but if I do, I'll be back to tell you. Blessings to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLOL...mother of the year..I don't know if they hear the "eye' story"...heee!!! I tell my kids I will leave them if they don't get in the car and they will have to find their own way to school.
ReplyDeleteThey KNOW I won't!
-sandy toe
Haha...these are so funny and I love the comments also! I can't think of any good ones right off hand that I tell my kids...I usually dream up some good santa stuff around Christmas time. Although, this year Santa didn't cooperate with me....my son has a hard time staying in his bed at night. He'll come up in the middle of the night and just stare at me until I feel someone creepily watching me sleep. So I told him that Santa wasn't going to come at all if he didn't stay in his bed cuz the tree was right by the couch. So when he saw Santa he asked him if he'd still come if he was asleep on the couch and Santa says 'As long as you are asleep' NOOOOO! Wrong answer Santa! You were supposed to say sleep in your own bed!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I am DEFINITELY getting mother of the year award. I do a million worse things! I tell Kaishon the same thing about having siblings. I tell him they are very very tiny and he can't see them. He asks why they can't play with him and I tell him they are afraid of him because they hear him being bad so many times. Mmmmmmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmm take that Mother of the Year. Please.
ReplyDeleteLet's be facebook friends? You only have 6? Did you search for your classmates? I think when you blog facebook is not NEARLY as exciting as the blogging world.
My husband did stuff like that to me when I came here.I had never seen"Driving Miss Daisy"but knew all about it and one day it came on and he remarked that it should have been named"Doing Miss Daisy" and I was so naive I believed him when he said that stuff happens between the two.I actually watched the entire movie before I realised that he was joking.And I was 27!not 7!
ReplyDeleteI tried to tell my son that if he doesn't stop wearing diapers now he is going to have to wear them forever and Daddy doesn't wear diapers... does he want to when he is daddy's age? He just looked at me and said, "Yes. And I buy some for Daddy at store."
ReplyDeleteHow do you potty train that???
You truly do make me crack up! I would not have even been creative enough to think of the Bob story!
ReplyDeleteI guess my husband does tell the boys to quit touching themselves in the private area or it will fall off! However, if that was the truth it would have fallen off a long time ago...what is it with boys and touching and rearranging themselves!
Whenever I acted up, my mother would just tell me that I hated myself.
ReplyDeleteI was always told I would be sent to my room.
ReplyDeleteIt never happened. So that was a lie.
I guess I was too cute to punish. LOL
when i was "bad" my parents told me that the people from the vitamin factory were coming to get me, i beleive there was once a time where i was put in the car and driven past to really scare me!!
ReplyDeleteHWHL ... hissing geese? Now that is a good one! Love this post. My Mother was the disciplinarian and she didn't screw around ... no idle threats from her. She meant business and I learned to not set her off. xoxo.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin Connie told me that the Midnight Snake liked to eat fingers so I always slept with my hand crunched up under my pillow.Oddly,I slept that way for about 40 years.No wonder I have sleep issues. Well,at least the Midnight Snake never got me!!
ReplyDeleteThey will love retelling these stories to their therapist in 20 years.
ReplyDeleteMy mom wouldn't let me wear parachute pants (remember those from the 80s?) because she said they caused cancer. Same with jelly shoes and rubberized bracelets. I snuck those anyway. Also I couldn't eat anything red, no licorice, no swedish fish, no cinnamon dots. Funny, because guess what is loaded up in my candy closet now!?!?
We had to keep our microwave in the basement and had to leave the room while it was cooking. Even if the thing would take :30, we had to rush out of the room and could only come back after it beeped.
LOL! Somewhere, I hear the a shrink's cash register going ka-chinnngg....
ReplyDeleteKIDDING!
The stuff my parents told me was horrendous, yet secretely I loved it. I'm sure I did... erm!
Lying to your kids is as natural as stealing their french fries. It's necessary sometime. I like the one about Bob :)
ReplyDeletein the eye!! HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeleteMy E is afraid of blood.. so I always always make sure to mention the possibly bloody OUTCOMES of her dangerous actions. :)
aND BROTHER in the attic... fabulous.
love it.
d