March 11, 2009

I Want A Sister-Wife.

Ok, maybe not WANT, but I sure could use and appreciate one.

I have had a longstanding fascination with the Mormon church and the Polygamist groups.
I know they are not one in the same.....

A few years ago I read a few books on the subject, starting with the beginning of the Mormon teaching and the spin-off into the polygamist groups.

I am not going to get into the details of the religion.
I am no expert, nor do I ever criticize others beliefs.
I have just always been very interested in learning of different cultures within different is quite fascinating to me.

Plus, I love the show Big Love.
Yes, didn't you know it would come down to that?

The whole sister-wife dynamic seems pretty organized. And I love organized!!

They share household duties. They help raise all the children. (think of the carpooling possibilities) They share incomes.

And obviously, they share a husband. I am not going to even think about that part.
That is just yucky.

Really, I am focused on having some help around this house.
yes, I could use a sister-wife; or two.

But, they can't look like this:

They are the true fashion victims of our country.

Really, what is up with the big pop-over bangs?

Are they hiding canned goods in there?

Or perhaps that is where they keep their People magazines?
You know, so they can keep up with important outside news.

I certainly am NOT down with all that.
And the clothes? HUH?

I suppose you can eat as many cookies as you want if you wear nondescript dresses....

But hey, I can't roll like that. Not in this century.

So, I suppose I will have to state my conditions for anyone wanting to join my cult family:

No to the big-bad hair.
No to the oversized bad clothes.
They must be motivated to clean.
They must cook well.
They must not sleep in my bed.
Just think of all the time I would have to exercise if I just had some help around here...

And have you EVER heard of this:
Polyandry: one woman married to several men.
Really, who came up with that?


  1. At Christmas...I saw that show Big Love or whatever at my father in was creepy but yet intriguing all wrapped up in people really do that???

    Cans in their hair????You are CRAZY fun!
    sandy toe

  2. Good question! You are so smart, Suz. You should be teaching a class on all of this common sense stuff.

  3. I said for a LONG time that I need a wife! I'm glad I'm not the only one that's crazy like that!

  4. Are you kidding? There's a show about The Yearning For Zion women? Or, one of the polygamist cults? OMG!

    Do you know who wore her hair like that? Jane Seymour as Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

    Your description of a Sister Wife is a maid!!

  5. Will you be offering free health benefits?

  6. well girls.... guess what....? i HAVE a wife and i love her and she is great with the household stuff and cooking and everything else. she is all of those things plus more. the fact that we are both women MAYBE has the advantage, but i do know of gay couples who are not domesticated, dont cook..etc.. what i think it all boils down to is sharing the responsabilities as 50/50 as we can. whether you have a wife OR a husband. who ever said one should do all the work anyway, while the other has it easy... in a partnership. we BOTH enjoy all those domesticated things.
    and hey, just BECAUSE i go against the grain, i think one wife with 3 husbands might be a good deal! BUT i would bet ya money it will never be legalized due to the double standards of our society. good post, suz. your little mind is just always goin, isnt it... ;)


  7. Oh I've seen that show! It was like a car accident. I didn't really want to look but I couldn't turn away.
    No Sister-Wife for me though...I'm pretty sure I would not be so good with the sharing of my man part!!

  8. Jen- you have to provide your own insurance...times are tough. Although I did get quite a bit of first aid training in girl scouts...I can fix some boo-boos.

    C-I knew you would have 2 cents. ;0 We do share around he...Coach brings home the bacon...I cook it, but I just want another cook. :)

    Thanks Karen, but who would come to my classes???

    Grandma J- maid...wife....whatever...just think of the lucky gal getting to spend so much quality time with me.
    stop laughing.

  9. Canned goods. *snort* Good one! I constantly pine for a wife. I'm sure The Husband won't mind. If she can cook and clean, he's in. Not to mention I'm always proposing to my girlfriends who cook.

  10. I'll be there in 2.75 days, the amount of time it takes to pack and drive your way. Just give me every other weekend off to see the Captain and it's all good. um. Wait. Do I have to bring the kids? I mean can I bring the kids?

    Oh and cans in the hair? Killing me

  11. I am addicted to that show. But as far as having sister wives in the same house, ummm, no thanks. I love being the only vagina in the house. It makes me feel all powerful. I am the Queen-king of my own castle.

    Is it me, or has Bill become an overbearing macho a**hole compared to the first season? I know he’s supposed to be the head of it all (no pun intended), but in the first season he seemed much more fair & balanced with his inter-gender interactions. Plus, he used to get triple the booty action (literally speaking). Now he’s on Viagra, can’t get some from his wives without getting the 3rd degree, and he’s always harping how his word is final, he is the boss of everyone, no one can disobey him, blah, blah, blah. Methinks he should return to the Bill he was in the first season.

  12. I think you are off base with the Elvis haired fashion victims. I think if I am going to have a sister wife, I want her to look exactly like that so I can rest assured that I would be the hubby's pick for bed sharing. Similar to my thoughts on picking a nanny... former beauty queens need not apply.

  13. Does this job offer include insurance coverage? And you do live where is it's warm and near my children. Just maybe I will apply for the job...I will have to discuss it with my husband first. Would it be okay that I brought him along?
    I do have refrences since I have been married before...I have been told, even by my ex husband that I really was a good wife. Go figure.

    I have never even heard of this show Big Love but it sounds fascinating to me because I tend to be fascinated by these kinds of things. I had a muslim friend that used to tease me that he would let me be his number 1 wife if I would marry him.

  14. i'm thinking that if you concentrated on real life instead of thinking of this far-fetched STUFF you would have more time for cooking and cleaning!!! and... has you love for Rosie grown cold already???

  15. Oh, rats Suz! I’d be your perfect candidate with my OCD and I even have my own insurance. But you’re looking for a cook and that’s the most worstest thing I hate. The only thing I’ll make in the kitchen is coffee and that’s only because I think I’ll die if I don’t drink it!

  16. omg i secretly wonder about this all the time!!! hehe i <3 big love! i haven't gotten a chance to see this sunday's episode yet but ive got it on dvr.... i can't belive Nikki kissed her coworker last week!!!

  17. i love big love! I would watch it on demand when I lived in NE! I would wait until the whole season was done, so I could watch it all in one weeekend! :) lol.. this whole blog made me laugh esp about the bangs.

  18. you know i could have used one today and tomorrow with all the errands to run and chores to do and now the gardening, they would be perfect!!

  19. I would totally be a sister-wife with you! I think we should all have The Rachel and wear lots of strappy sundresses..oh! and I'll make the beds if you do the dishes :P

  20. Now I know why I don't watch TV...I did live in Utah for a while...and I am married to a "jack" no thank you to that- or polygomy! But I wouldn't mind a wife!

  21. Oh God, I am dying when I say this but I had hair similar to that in the early 90's. Oh yes, I did but at least I dressed better

  22. I love "Big Love" too - did you see the most recent one with the big standoff with Nikki and everyone else? My goodness, what a tangled web that Nikki has woven for herself....

    I have ALWAYS joked with my husband that we need a concubine. (Which, I guess, is the same thing as a sister-wife.) But you're right, she can't have that ski-ramp hairdo.

    "True fashion victims of our country"..... Suz, you're hilarious. Seriously. I really think you could be published, sweetie.
    Love you!

  23. P.S. Did you see the interviews several months ago with these real polygamist wives in Texas? Oh MY..... I really thought some of them had had front lobotomies.... it was scary. (They might as well have been wearing burquas and living in CAVES as far as how educated and informed they were... it was frightening....)

  24. I am a product of polygamy, several times over. Several of my ancestors were polygamists, including my fourth great uncle, the one and only Brigham Young.

    I just wish I had bangs that could hide canned goods.

  25. I've been trying to get my hair to poof up like that in the front forever. I will stop now. lol. Great post.

  26. You are so funny! I've been so lazy lately about blogging...


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