Something funny...

If you have not read Katie's Blog , you have to read her post today about lurkers.

You know...the lurkers that visit your blog each day, but never leave a comment.

She cracks me up.

I tend to feel the same way...I'm just sayin'

I wonder if people are going to her site because

(A)she has great music

(B)adorable boys

(C)she is a cutie AND very funny

(D)is it her attractive husband?? Ladies??

Or

(E) Miles the adorable boxer.

hmmmmmmmmm

Maybe it is a combo.

I love people who can speak their mind without being offensive.

That is an art.

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage."

Robert Anderson

Blonde Moment #13

For a long, long time, I have been seeing these decals on car & truck windows.

Perhaps it is just the way my brain works, but until it was pointed out to me

(by my 12yr old)...all this time I thought it had something to do with "dancing"

If you try really hard, doesn't it look like someone dancing, one foot curled in, arms in the air... (headless?)
Never mind the fact that 99 % of the time I would see these on pick up trucks.


I think somehow I got the deer silhouette mixed up with this Kokopelli guy that I used to see in Arizona.

Honest Mistake. Right?



I had no idea that I was surrounded by so many "hunters".

ugggghhhhh.


On a eery side note....while looking for a picture of the deer decal, the first website I came to was temporarily closed down due to the owner recently being diagnosed with lyme disease. An obvious hazzard to hunting.



Yikes. I know that is nothing to laugh about. Years ago when trying to figure out my leg pain one Doctor suggested it may be lyme disease.



Last weekend, Linds spent a couple of days with a girlfriend and came home on Sunday. When she showered that night, she found two ticks on her leg. Yuck.



I was a bit freaked by it.


Parents check those kids after they are out running around.

There. That is my good deed for the week.

Things I have learned as of late....

Buying cheap toilet paper is not a good way to save money.


Kathy Lee Gifford has only gotten more annoying.


Cats look incredibly weird while throwing up.


Being a bit early is way better than being late.


People who are chronically early (like an hour) Are just as annoying as people who are chronically late.



I should never run, unless I am being chased.


Exercise is NOT overrated. I need to do it more.


I don't have an ounce of road rage in me.


Squirrels are suicidal. Why else would they run out in front of me?

Thomas Dolby really was NOT blinded by science. He can see just fine.

I make a sad face when I see roadkill. Even butterfly road kill gets my sympathy.

Irony

We are fortunate enough to live in a fantastic, well appointed home.

We really appreciate all that we have. We try very hard to take care of it all, with love.

But today, our water was out for a while....

I laughed to myself after I said this out loud:

"Kids, if you need me I am going out to the hot tub to take a bath.

Oh, and answer my cell phone if it rings, the house phone is not working. again. "

While I was having my bath in the hot tub...a vision came to mind.....

The Beverly hillbillies. Cement pond. Granny. Jethro

I hope none of my neighbors saw me.....

Really?

Shocker.

Not.

What is up with People magazine outing everyone?

First Dumbledore, now Clay.

If I see Barry manilow on the cover next week, I am going to freak. :)

Where are all the Straight men?

I blame it all on the Bravo Channel.

They are trying to turn me gay too.

Birthday Pictures

I celebrated my 21st birthday recently.

Yes I did.

(20 yrs is recent. Right?)

We had a nice dinner out with my FIL and MIL, our two girls and our unoffical adopted daughter. It is unofficial because her parents won't give me her Social Security number to write her off on my taxes.

(She spends most weekends with us and Summer vacations too. :)

The Restaraunt was very nice. The food was fabulous.

The girls were mesermized by the Waiter. Alex.

He must have been about 23, and the two 15 yr olds were in "lust."

And they were not shy about it either...

Hussies.

Alex snuck up behind me with a large gift.

Look at my face, he is lucky I did not have a steak knife in my hand....

My MIL knows me so well....bath stuff and wine and wine

Gosh, I still hate my haircut...arrrggghhhhh

Group shot w/ Alex. What is he doing? He must have really liked the tip...or the attention?

The Queen Mum

Recently I caught the tail end of a 48hoursdateline20/20 special on the Royal Family.
Usually I am not very interested in the Royals, but there was nothing else on.


They were focusing on the Queen and her duties; with highlights of her last State Visit.
What a life she has led…..*snooze*….Oh, I know that is not nice, but it just seems so proper and formal. Proper and Formal = Borefest.

The royal family has their own website.

How cool. They have their own blog. (ok, not a blog)

The Queen is the Head Of State in The UK, Her official title in the UK is:

"Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith".

I hope she does not have to answer the phone and give that title….

The official Title in my world is:

"Suzanne the First, By the luck of the draw residing in the Grand ol’ U S of A, presiding over her followers inherent in her humble kingdom of the canine, feline, and reptile.

Head of the Household; Supreme commander of domestic affairs."

I bet ya' didn't know how important I was did you?

One thing that caught my attention is that all the time, this lady is ALWAYS carrying a purse. She is never seen without it.

She is 82 years old. What can she be carrying?

A cell phone? Tampons? Chapstick?

I just found it funny.

As soon as I am rich enough I will have someone else carry all my stuff for me. (kidding)
My kids do it for me when I am old.

Shhh, I have not told them this yet.

What do you think she has in her purse?

Me in front of "Buck House" way back in 2004. This shot was taken just before I started my own private tour, by climbing the fence.

The securtiy offices are really grand.

Good News and Bad News

The Good News: Lo does not need surgery on her wrist for the fracture.

The Bad News: She is done with Volleyball for this season and hoping to be recovered for Softball come January.

I don't feel like such a horrible Mom anymore. (well maybe just a tad)

The Dr. said that her continuing to play was not making the injury any worse.

But her wrist would never fully heal without immobilizing it for some time.

He did not give a specific time frame, but alluded it could take as long as 3 months.

She goes back in 3 weeks for another X-Ray.

The funny thing is that last night she and I were talking about the possibilities of the Dr's appt. Would she get a cast? I said Nahh....maybe a brace.

Then she asked me how they even make casts....we went from there guessing the ways they are made...I never had one myself.

So today, she called me as she and Dad were leaving the Dr's office. The first thing she said was:

I now KNOW how they make casts!

She was so happy to have this bit of info. now.

Cute kid.

She at least got it in her school color....Green.

It was comical seeing her try to write with a pencil. This should be a fun few months. :)

A picture is worth A thousand puppy hugs....

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater... suggest that he wear a tail.

~Fran Lebowitz

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?

I think that is how dogs spend their lives.

~Sue Murphy

Bad Parent of the Year award.

I think I may have just been bestowed this award.....again......

Last fall Lo tried out for the Freshman volleyball team. The second practice she went down for a dig and jammed her pinkie into the unforgiving gym floor.

She complained about pain for a week or so. Dad thought she was being soft. I was hoping the pain would eventually go away.

Finally we decided to take her to the Dr.

It was fractured. And yes, she had been playing with a fractured pinkie.

Bad parents.

She had to wear a pinkie "brace" for about 4 weeks and then she was good to go.

This past June, playing in the FIRST softball tourney of the summer Lo did some acrobatic trick coming into home and somehow twisted her wrist. It has been hurting since then.

She has played numerous softball games (11 weekends in a row, plus 2 weeks straight) I can't even count how many games...a gazillion maybe?

Then she started J.V. Volleyball in August. Many games have been played, many practices too.

Add into this softball practice 2x a week and a few weekend tourneys.

The crazy thing is...she played softball so awesome this summer and her volleyball game has gotten so much better too....We just assumed she played better when hurt. (?)

The pain in her wrist has not stopped. We finally took her for an MRI last week....

The Dr. called and said she has a fracture in her wrist.

She has to get into a orthopedic surgeon tomorrow.

Crap.

No one can say we ever "overreact" around here though...

I just hope it is not too bad....like surgery bad. I will feel just horrible.

I suppose this means Good Housekeeping won't come a' calling when they are profiling Mother of the year nominees.....

I can hear her now..." I told you it hurt !!!"

I found this sight to be too funny.




I am pretty sure when Maisy decided to perch up here on the lanai counter top that "Freedie the Freeloader" was tucked away in his little den.
When anyone gets near his home, he generally likes to come out and see what is going on....




The cat was oblivious to the snake watching her....

About Freddie The Freeloader, our albino corn snake.

I know most people are freaked out by snakes. I usually am too.

We have had him for about 4 years. (a rescue) and he is clearly the easiest, lowest maintenance pet we have. Mostly because I don't do anything with him. I have never touched him.

The kids and Jeff feed him and clean out his cage. He spends most of the year on the lanai, the colder months he is in the playroom. (always in his cage)

He does not make any noise. He really likes when the kids take him out and let him slide and slither all over the ground. I don't think he even has teeth.

He sheds about 4X a year, so he is growing. He is approx 4 1/2 ft long.

He did escape one time. Clearly the cats had been sitting on the top of his cage and the screen broke through.

He was missing for about 5 hours and one of the cats found him for us in some plants around the pool. The cat did not even try to hurt him. She was just staring at him.

Since then, I ball up pieces of tin foil and set it on the top of his cage, the cats are afraid of tin foil.

How did we end up with this little guy?

Three years ago on Christmas day, as I was sick in bed.

(It ain't Christmas until someone is sick, that year it was my turn.)

Jeff and the girls went to visit a cousin. The cousin had this snake in a tiny cage.

And it was not being taken care of properly. The girls begged. Jeff gave in.

They came home and "surprised" me.

Husbands excuse?????

"It is better to beg for forgiveness, than to ask permission"

Really.

A new conundrum.

We saw a cute boxer puppy yesterday.

Jeff and Lo were giving me the eyes. They had a fairly good sales pitch.

Outwardly, I was not buying.

Inside, I was screaming “Lets take her home”.

I have said many times that one dog is really good for us.

She travels well. She fits in our bed well. I don't know if we can fit another dog in there...

She is a really good girl.

I know she would love to have a bro/sis to play with though.
And we have SO much love to share in this house.

I told them the Dog was way too expensive and if we ever got another one we would rescue, not buy. Jeff agreed, stating it would feel much better knowing we were helping a needy dog.

Lo said that buying is rescuing because we could “rescue her from the pet store”.

Clever girl.

Last night I spent about 2 hours looking at several boxer rescue sites.

Oh, there is a lot of them. Looks like most of them are taken by volunteers from local pounds and put in temporary foster homes until a perm home can be found.

Many are just abandoned. Or neglected. That just breaks my heart.
One dog, he was about 5 was found roaming the streets.

They tracked his micro-chip to a home. The home was now owned by a bank. How could you have a dog for 5 years and then just leave it?

I realize times are tough for people, but how could you just leave an animal to just fend for itself?

We are still thinking about it.
I have to weigh the pros and cons.

Something I did learn is that you are advised to NOT have 2 females or 2 males.

Even if they are fixed. That kind of bummed me out, because I wanted another girl.

(if I got a dog) They are about 10 lbs smaller than males.

But then again, if I were to get a male, perhaps he would be SO in love with me as Cocoa is enamored by Jeff. Jealous who?

I do know I would prefer an older dog-3 years plus. We would not even be against a senior dog (7 yrs +)
But then I realized they only live about. 10 years. I am already dreading Cocoa getting old and dying and she is only 3.

I am a real softie.

I still get sad thinking about my Beloved cat Junior who at 11 we had to put to sleep back in 1999 due to kidney disease. That cat was so awesome and affectionate.

He ruined me for all other cats...

Oh, who knows what we will do.
I told the kids that if we got another dog that means they can’t take friends with us on our summer vacations anymore because we won’t have room in the car.
Of course they are fine with that NOW…….

Movies that I can watch over and over....

Urban Cowboy. That movie made me want to ride a bull. Or just hang out in a country bar and dance. It all depends on my mood.

Grease. I loved the soundtrack and I've got chills, they're multiplying.

Sixteen Candles. Who did not want to end up with Jake in high school?

Holly mackerel, he had a Porshe.

Mr. Mom. Possibly the funniest movie ever. "You are doing it wrong.".....as he is trying to drop off in the car lane at school.

Something about Mary. Also, possibly the funniest movie ever.

Forrest Gump. Boiled shrimp. Grilled shrimp. Shrimp casserole. Shrimp soup.

Gone with the wind. Why, oh why, did Scarlett NOT just hook up and stay with Rhett?

Pulp Fiction. I know it is a bit dark, even for me. but I may have a thing for John Travolta.

Get Shorty. More John T.

Under the Tuscan Sun. Oh, to be brave enough to move to another country and start over.

Ferris Buellers day off. Bueller? Bueller?

Rain Man. Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart.

Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts baby in a corner. Didn't we all want to dance with Johnny.

Pretty Woman. Only Julia Roberts can make the life of a prostitute glamorous.

Walk the Line. Love me some Johnny Cash.

I can't wait to share some of those with the girls. When they are PG 13/R ready.

Ok, here are some that I am ashamed to admit. The fact that all four of us in our house repeat the phrases shown here....weekly....we need to just grow up!

Napoleon Dynamite. "Your Mom goes to College."

Elf. "Ohhhhh, He is an angry elf."

Water boy. "Mama Say's alligators are angry because they have so many teeth and no toothbrush"

Mr Deeds. "Never underestimate my sneakiness."

The Wedding Singer. The soundtrack and all the "campy" clothes were great.

How about you?

what are your faves and your faves that you don't really want to brag about??

Please share.

I have issues.

Yes, I do. I know it is hard to believe.

One of my issues is that I loathe clutter. I also hate to use the word hate. I have said this before.

I don't like clutter in the kitchen. No clutter. The counters must remain clutter free.

Seriously, I won't even start making a meal if stuff is everywhere.

My lady brain can't focus. :0

I also loathe the girls leaving stuff all over their bathroom counter.
they take such poor care of the bathroom.
Seriously, I would pee my pants before using their toilet. It can be that unsanitary at times.
I have told them time and again that Prison bathrooms are cleaner than theirs. (I don't know this for a fact, but I assume it is true)
They think this is funny. Dirty is a serious crime in my book. :)


This past year Jeff made them beautiful wood cabinets, we updated their sinks, gave them GRANITE counter tops, new faucets, mirror and lights.


Do you think they could keep it clear of clutter? for one day? mmmmmmNO.


I have cleaned their bathroom top to bottom many times.

Seriously, it takes 10 minutes if the tub is in good shape.

I sent them in there recently to clean, it took them 45 minutes.
For TWO people. geeeze.

And it still was NOT up to my standards.

I gave them a clue. They took it and finished the task.

A day later, I popped in there and I could not remember what color the counter top was.

really. one day.

I am starting to wonder if other people are living here and using their bathroom too.

I had them clean it up. AGAIN.

I went in to check and it was clean, except, they left their toothbrushes out. AGAIN.


They have a drawer for those little teeth cleaners.


I called them in and spoke oh, so slowly.

"o p e n t h i s d r a w e r a n d p u t

t h e t o o t h b r u s h a n d t h e t o o t h p a s t e b a c k e a c h t i m e y o u u s e it."

They stared at me like I had 3 heads.

Fine.

The VERY next day, I checked and Lo left her toothbrush out. AGAIN.


What does a normal mom do?

How would I know what a normal Mom would do.
But I know I wanted to get MY point across to them.

What did I do?
Well, I took her toothbrush from the counter and I put it way up on top of the mirror.
She could see it, if she looked.



That night after I told the girls to go brush their teeth, I was waiting. just waiting for my time to shine....Of course I had an evil grin on my face. Because, well, I am evil. ;)



10 minutes later I ask Lo if she has brushed her teeth yet.

L:"No". I can't find my toothbrush."

Me: "Well, didn't you put it in the drawer?"

L: "Yes, but it is gone."



I laughed and told her to search for it, 'cause she did not leave it in her drawer.


She was mildly irritated and this pleases me for some reason. Linds thought it was so funny.


That was a few weeks ago.


The next day I went in and found BOTH of their toothbrushes out and one tube of toothpaste too.


So, what does a normal Mom do?

really, if anyone normal that can tell me, I would love to know.

I did, what I thought was funny.

Surely they didn't find it nearly as hilarious as I did.

Since then, this has happend a couple of times. I find great joy in hiding the toothbrushes all over their bathroom. you have to keep kids on their toes....

They still have not mastered the cleaning up philosophy, but they are getting better.

"Oh, Parenting can be fun if you just apply yourself. "

Anyone else have any fun ways to torture, I mean teach your kids a lesson?

T-Shirt slogans I appreciate

Wordle

Wordles are cool. You put in your blog URL and it takes the most frequently used words and makes a wordle. Click on it to make it bigger.

If you want to kill 4 minutes.....

you can do one too, just go HERE

I re-did mine a few times and each time the biggest words that caught my attention were: Kids, Really, Smell.

Ironic?

NO.

A Picture is worth a thousand.......Heartbeats

My Favorite Brother

9/17/1963-4/2/1990

Angels can fly because they carry no
burdens.

-- Eileen Elias Freeman

Blonde Moment #12

Early on in the summer when we had just begun our softball weekend marathon, I noticed a really bad smell in the car.


I figured it was from the smelly girls we were toting all around the state.


But when the girls were out of the car, the smell lingered.

It was seriously bad.
I was looking under seats, in cracks, pockets everwhere thinking I was going to come across an old hamburger or a dead animal.


I went to the car wash and had them deep clean the carpets. ahhhhh, relief.


The smell was gone. I figured it must have been just the back of the yukon where the dirty socks and cleats sat for hours during our trips home.


I did not want to have to deal with the smell again, and seeing that we had several more weeks left, I was going to be pro-active.


I got one of these:



It clips right onto the a/c vent. I got it in the "neutralizer" scent because someone (myfabuloushusband) is super sensitive to smells.

The car seemed to really smell good.
I figured between the carpet cleaning and my new smelly gizmo I was good to go.

Fast forward to this week.

Linds and I are in the car and I look at the smelly gizmo.

I notice that the liquid in the bottom really has not gone down much since I purchased it.

hmmmmm. That is weird. I think to myself.

I take it off the vent and pull the top off.

Wow. Imagine that. There is a cap underneath. (DUH)

I pull off the cap and voila. I smell good stuff.

All these months I had the thing in there and it was doing NOTHING.

Linds and I both cracked up at this.

yeah, just another day being me.

Insects, insecticides, and a bit of mercury.

Since several tropical depressions came and dumped tons of rain here in sunny Florida we are having a horrible mosquito problem. I am sure it is not a problem for the frogs, birds and anything else that eats mosquito's but it is a problem for moi.


In general, any mosquito within a 10 mile radius of me will come to drink some of my sweet nectar.
Apparently something in my blood makes them want me. I don't know what it could be.....all the salad I eat? The wine I drink?
Who knows, but I am not safe lately.


They hover around the doors waiting for me.



Someone told me that the county is going to start "spraying" for mosquito's.

That would be ok, and it made me think of something that we used to do as kids.


A mosquito truck would slowly drive through our neighborhood on occasion and spray pesticides out the back of the truck.

All the neighborhood kids would run outside and follow the truck.

This is what kids did when they did not have computers or phones. (or a brain apparently)


Yes, we would run through the fog, directly inhaling DDT. I can still smell it.
You would have thought we were chasing the Ice Cream truck.

Smart right? This could be the reason why I never grew past 5'2?
Or possibly the fact that I can only retain basic math skills?

Where was my Mother?

A few years later I remember breaking open a thermometer and playing with the mercury.

I have no idea how I learned that this would be interesting...perhaps in science class.

I am lucky I did not grow a 3rd arm.

Anyone else play with dangerous toxins as a kid and live to tell the tale?

Not that I am near perfect....

To the crazed woman behind me at the grocery check out:


Yes, I was way in front of you.

Yes, I had my act together. I had my debit card out. My groceries put on the conveyor belt correctly...heavy, cold, produce. all in the proper order. thankyouverymuch. ( a bit anal?)

I even had my Reusable bags ready to go.

As I am trying to swipe my debit card, You were ignoring your 6 kids under 8 yrs old.

They were running wild. Meanwhile you were PUSHING your cart into my hip. Owwww

I know you were distracted. Not by your kids of course.
But by your having to fill out your food stamp papers.

Yes. I saw that and that is ok. I am all for helping those in real need.

But really, could you NOT buy some condoms with those food stamps?

Instead of the (2) twelve packs of beer you had behind the milk and cereal?

aggghhh. Why do I feel like I am the voice of reason? that is scary for me.

and it should be for you too.

Priorities.

Quote(s) of the day.

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."

Roseanne

Do you know why they call it PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

anonymous

babies, babies, everywhere

The girls and I LOVE to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8.

We tivo all the shows and watch them when we have time.

On labor day weekend they were doing a special that recapped some of the earliest shows.

Those babies are just delicious. Seriously makes me want to get an Asian baby for myself.

Or maybe two, they are small ya know.

Lo commented that she wants to have many many babies one day. "like 5 or 6"

My eyes got huge at that comment.

She loses her cell phone all over the house, how will she keep up w/ babies?

I suppose babies are bigger than cell phones, so maybe she won't lose them.

Kate was a brave soul and showed the national public what her belly looks like after carrying 6 babies at one time.

Lord have mercy. Bless her heart. Life is cruel.

Nothing will help that but surgery. (she has had a tuck since then)

But when the camera showed her belly, Lo and I sucked all the oxygen out of the room with our huge collective "gasp".

I looked at my child seriously and told her if she wanted lots of babies, she should try to have them "one at a time".

"a-yeah, you think?"

Holy Mackerel

They will never be forgotten....

A picture is worth a thousand words....

Ain't Love Grand?

Humor Therapy

I love some funny and Ellen is funny.
She always makes my day. So clever.

Bad hair day

Have you ever had a haircut so bad that you did not want ANYONE to see you.

Really, I don't want to see anyone I know, or even strangers for that matter until it grows out.

I love, love, love my hairdresser.

I have been going to her for almost 4 years.

Seeing that I was a "hair burner" in my past life, I know a good one when I see one.
She is good.

We laugh and talk the whole time she is giving me a new do.

I just don't know if maybe we talked and laughed a bit too much this last time.

She is 4 mo. pregnant too, maybe that was the problem.

We all lose a bit of our brain cells and get easily distracted in that condition.

(ok, some of us don't have to be in a "condition" to have that problem)

As much as I did not want to, I have had to go out and I have had to see people.

I tried to over compensate for the bad hair by wearing more makeup than usual.

At first I felt a little bit prositute-ish.

This is what it has come down to.

Do you think anyone noticed my hair?