July 29, 2009

I wanted to be Kelly.

When I was around 4, my Mom took me shopping at the Palm Beach mall. She thought it would be a good idea to go into the Jordan Marsh department store and try on clothes.

Silly woman.

Oh, how I loved that store. Not only did they sell clothes, TOYS, perfume and shoes, they also had a lunch counter. I think they may have had the best girl cheese grilled cheese sandwiches ever.

On this particular day, as Mom and I were in the dressing room, and I already had my fill of grilled cheese, I decided that I was bored to tears with her trying on clothes.

So, I made a break for it. I easily climbed out of my stroller, for I am part monkey.

It was so easy to escape my cell underneath the door, especially when my captor was naked.

These are the things I did to her, but secretly I think she enjoyed all the chases I put her through. Really, how else would a young mom get her daily exercise????

I remember bits and pieces of this day, but as my Mom tells the story I think it gets better each time.

I vaguely remember wandering through the clothes dept.

I vaguely remember crossing over the little wishing pond in the middle of the mall, you know the area that I dreamt of falling into and collecting all the shiny coins from.

I vaguely remember the smell of burning candles, pretty colors and twinkling lights.

Then I remember people asking me questions: what is your name? where is your Mommy? How old are you?

Alas, I found myself in the Wicks n Sticks store.

"Why hello nice people, my name is Kelly and I am 9 years old."

YES, I was a big fat little liar.

According to my Mom, it took about 42 deputies and all of the mall staff to find me in about 20 minutes.

Prior to Amber alert days, you could get away with more stuff. Those were the good ol’ days.

I was a bad girl.

And the name Kelly? Who knows where that came from, at the time, I don't think we knew a Kelly yet.

A year or two later, I changed my name to Cindy.
Cindy Brady, that was me.

The funny part of this? Today, when I venture to the mall, I still end up in the candle store.

Minus security.

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Hey!!! There is Cindy..or is that Kelly????

How did you traumatize your parents???

C’mon, I know you did, I was not the only trouble child...was I????


  1. HA!
    I didn't get to escape until I was 17.

  2. LOL that is a GREAT story - but boy am I glad you didn't get kidnapped or anything :-o

    I guess back then life was simpler? I remember growing up in the 70's and 80's and being out all day long with no parental supervision, it was expected you took care of yourself and of your siblings, you came home for lunch and that was that.

    How times have changed, eh?

  3. oh ps: yes the hawk photo was taken on my property a couple of days ago :)

  4. funny story, the things kids sometimes do that traumatize their parents, lol

  5. Love the knee socks.......hey I think I had a pair of those shoes only in dark blue with light blue velvet on My fond memory of shpping with my mom was when I was about 6 or 7 and I had a lose tooth and my mom tricked me and pulled it out in filene's department store...I cried when she grabbed the tooth and pulled and just then I swallowed the tooth and then cried even harder because the tooth was gone and that meant no proof for the tooth fairly.....!

  6. That is wild and I love your picture! I was the world's most bashful child; I never ventured very far alone.

  7. What a cute story, Suz... You make a cute Kelly and Cindy in addition to Suzanne. I drove my parents crazy in high school since I had a boyfriend whom they did not like... It wasn't a great time---but I thanked them later for caring so much about me.


  8. My little darling did that to me one day at Sam's Club, the little shit!! They called a Code Adam, locked down the entire store, sent every single available employee through the store to look for him, while I stood at the service desk literally shaking and trying not to burst into hysterical tears. All of a sudden, the store manager, who was standing next to me, whispers, "Ma'am, do you know that woman?" I look where he's looking, and I see my very angry mother carrying a struggling Stud Muffin, chastising him for having run away. I could see how she could have been mistaked for a kidnapper, and a mean one at that!! I didn't know whether to squeeze him or spank him! Oh, that was definitely one of my scariest Mommy moments.

  9. Very cute :)

    My parents used to leash me {with an actual dog leash} because I would wander off all the time.
    One time at the airport I ended up sitting on the baggage carosel {sp?} going round and round.


  10. Oh, I had the police out looking for me more than once. And the MPs, too. (Military Police, when we lived on base.) I wasn't naughty, I just got lost really easily. Once, I went home with a little girl in my class who saw me crying on the street. I was lost. Of course, we tried to call my mom but she was out looking for me. It must be easier now with cell phones.

    Funny story! I never made up a pseudonym. Clever!

  11. a couple of things spring to mind. I ate poison berries from a bush at the age of three or so, I remember my dad rushing round to the GP next door for advice.
    I also tipped the chair over when switching the tv channel over ( the day of no remotes- good grief) and split my head open needing lots of stitches. Great fun and you say- keeps parents on their toes.

  12. I had to be good all the time--my sister was the bad one. You can only have one per family.

  13. Suz: you are awful, how could you?
    personally when waiting for mother I always sat perfectly with an angelic smile on my face, hands in my lap and ankles crossed, just as in church. I was NEVER naughty.
    but I was a damn good actress. :-)

  14. So did you ever get payback from your daughters? I remember just losing sight of my boys in the mall a couple of times and the sinking feeling! Your poor mom must of been hysterical!

  15. Love that adorable photo!!!

    When I saw the title of this post, I thought you were talking about Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell...because I so wanted to be her too :)

  16. OMG you did not?????? When she was changing???????

  17. I did the same thing to my Mom at a mall in Chattanooga. But I still swear she wandered off first. I was just standing there beside her looking at shoes and the next thing I know, she is gone...

  18. You little imp you! I never ran away, much to my parent's disappointment.

  19. We didn't have malls when I was growing up and I haven't heard my parents tell such an interesting story about me. But we did name our daughter Kelly and she put us through a couple of 'adventures' like the one you described. There must be something with that name ...

  20. i like the knee high socks best about your outift bee!!..... next time tell us the story about the fake "person" you put in your bed when you snuck out at night.... (i bet you did do that right?)

  21. I'm not sure I'd call it deliberately traumatizing. I think "payback" is more appropriate, and being that my mom was a mighty creative gal herself, this required drastic action. Mom was sitting on the sofa with a pair of glimmering scissors. She said, "Debbie! Look how cute your sister is with her new, super-duper-short-pixie-cut. Don't you want me to cut your long beautiful golden strands so your hair is adorable like your sisters?" Naturally, I sat down. When I stood back up I looked like my son -- only I wouldn't meet him for another 3 decades. In the meantime, my sister's pixie had grown a bit and she wanted her bangs cut. So guess what I found? Mom's scissors. Oh boy was mom surprised by sister's little nubs -- cut right before the family holiday pictures.

  22. have i heard this story before? i'm sure your mom loved getting her exercise that way... you naughty girl!! but i do love that you found the candle store... some things never change!

  23. I love this story, Suz.
    My mom & I used to go to Fredrick & Nelson (a Marshall Field store), where I would have a cup of chicken & rice soup, a bowl of Olympic Berry sherbet and teddy bear cookie to go. Yes, we love sweets in our family!

    One day when I was in preschool, my mom dropped me off (I wouldn't let her walk me in, because I was a BIG GIRL). She had forgotten that there was a fieldtrip that day, and no one was there. I found the doors locked, so I started to walk home, by myself, through a pretty busy town. I knew exactly where I needed to go (it was a couple of miles). Getting tired, I stopped to rest at our dry cleaners, & they recognized me & called her. She said, "Oh no, you must be mistaken; my daughter is at preschool!" After they put me on the phone to prove it, she came & picked me up and made me TAKE A NAP! After such a big adventure, I remember being insulted that I had to take a nap...but now I know SHE needed the quiet time to recover from the shock.
    I remember that everyone made big deal out of the fact that I knew the way home. That seemed dumb to me, since I always went home after going out; of course I knew how to get home! I also recall that I was also mad, because I wanted to finish the job and get home on my own.
    That's my version of your mall story. Thanks for asking; it's a funny memory!

  24. It's a wonder your mom didn't have a heart attack! You were and still are a stinker! LOL!

  25. I seem to remember getting choked on hard candy at Christmas time....every. single. year. GAH! Dad would flip me upside down, and beat me on the back until the candy flew out of my mouth. We were all happy when Lifesavers were invented!

    I always wanted to be named Veronica...or Toni, with an "i"!

  26. I once left my mom in a department store and went to the bedding section and fell asleep in one of their pre made beds. it took her an hour to find me. I think that qualifies as traumatic no?

  27. Oh my gosh...I'm on the ground laughing. You can borrow my name any time. It's gotten me in trouble a few time too!!! :-)

  28. I was a perfect child. Except when I threw tantrums in public and barfed all over the movie theater.

  29. Oh goodness...I still remember the day the neighbors came to my home b/c I tp their house!

    My parents hair is gray b/c of me and my silly stuff.
    sandy toe

  30. Great story! My mom would have killed me, though, so I wouldn't be around to tell it...

  31. I never wandered off. But my mom did forget to pick me up from church (CCD) when I was about 6. Traumatized me for life!

  32. Aidyn loves to open the doors to the bathroom stall and dressing room! I know at least a half a dozen people have seen more then they've bargained for!

  33. Look at how cute you were!!
    I was always Denise. I wanted to be Denise, not Suzanne. I think every little girl dreams of being someone different.


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