OKAY, A LOT tamer. But, I can pretend…can’t I?
I have been battling a rabid and menacing squirrel. And when I say battling, I mean I have been tapping the window getting him to leave the new bird feeder alone. Which he does for 3 seconds, cause I am all scary and stuff. Cocoa is perplexed by this guy also. Last week all she wanted to have was a bird. Now, she has moved on to the squirrel.
Here are some funny pics from when she was trying to get a bird. She chased it from the feeder up to one of these palm trees. She was standing at the tree and crying. It was too cute. Then she caught sight of the bird….well she THOUGHT she did.
These pics are with my old camera btw: (and Ozzie is not dead, he is just rolling in the grass, he is a professional roller)
Look closely:
That is a fake woodpecker. Which just confuses the heck out of the reaI ones. I know that it conflicts with my fake flamingo, but I am crazy like that.
Cocoa still thinks it is real. And she still wants IT!
So, later on I was outside after Cocoa chased the squirrel up the tree.
I was looking up and going to take a picture when the crazy rabid menacing cute squirrel jumped from one tree to the next. I thought for sure it was coming right at me and this is the picture I got, as I imagined him planting himself on my face and eating me…I could already see the 5 o’clock news feed: ‘Woman has face eaten off by rabid squirrel as her boxers JUST watch!’
I have great skills right? This is the reason National Geographic never will keeps calling me.
Ok, here is the vermin. I shall name him Ralph. He eats like a pig and makes a huge mess.
Do squirrels ever eat humans? I think Ralph my have it in him…not sure, but he looks like trouble, just look at that fluffy thorny tail and sweet horn like ears.
I googled squirrel and was shocked, I mean SHOCKED to find this page: squirrel recipes. Seriously…..this is a few of them:
(please don’t click the links, ‘cause then I will be worried you are making squirrel for dinner, and I won’t be able to speak with you. ever again.)
Fried Squirrel With Mushroom Gravy
After reading some of the recipe titles I had a flashback of the movie Forrest Gump: ‘Fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, baked shrimp, shrimp kabobs……” Good ol’ Bubba Blue.
Don’t you wonder just how many squirrels it would take to fill up a crock pot?
**scratching forehead in wonder**
I went to the garden center and bought Ralph some corn cobs. I put a few out and he took them away to his cave and dined on them.
I think this may work for our situation…he has not been messing with the feeders since….I just hope he does NOT post my address on his blog for all the other squirrels. The corn cobs can get pricey!
Our Georgia squirrels received an email this morning from Ralph giving out your address for the best corn ever!!!
ReplyDeleteI tried to befriend a squirrel once, and he chewed through some very important wiring...the ones from the AC unit.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think I will send our South Dakota squirrels your way too. We have one that comes onto our deck and torments our indoor cats. Have a nice day today ~Natalie
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm, bacon wrapped squirrel - YUM. Seroiously, you can wrap bacon around anything and it would be delicious!!
ReplyDeleteLOL You are living in a jungle! It always amazes me how brave or maybe it's incredibly dumb squirrels are. They aren't afraid of anything!
ReplyDeleteWhere do you get such realistic plastic birds? LOL! I almost spit my coffee out when I got to your list of squirrel recipes! Really!?
ReplyDeletewhat will you come up with next??!!
ReplyDeletei can just picture you there at the window, tapping that cute little squirrel away!! i cannot imagine you looking too scary- of course, i've never seen you weilding that shank in the air. oh! maybe you should try it! i can hear the 911 calls now- ohmygosh there is a crazy woman in her driveway- i think she thinks she is a ninja waving around a pretty glittery stick. no, she is not beating children with it... oh no! she's down- there are squirrels beating her with corncobs! there must be fifty of them- come quick!
sorry... i forogt i was going to invite you for dinner! we are having "chicken" surprise :)
ReplyDeleteSquirrels are on the top of my "I Hate" list after snakes and alligators and ducks. Please keep feeding Ralph so he'll stay right there... in Florida. You wouldn't catch near one of those nasty things let alone eat one! :(
ReplyDeletethe 4th and 5th graders at my sons' school have a resident squirrel they've named "billy bob". if they don't protect their lunch properly it will be billy bob's lunch. There's been many a kid that have come out only to find their lunch box has been squirrel handled. He's even destroyed a couple of backpacks in search of food.
ReplyDeleteHe's one ornery squirrel!
no need to look up recipes on the internet bee, just ask jen! she's had her fair share of "game"!!!...
ReplyDeleteONE squirrel? You are carrying on so because of ONE squirrel? Where there are nuts, there are squirrels. I'm not referring to you, Suz, but our yard. We have two walnut trees and five pecan trees. I have counted EIGHT at one time cavorting in our backyard. And there were several others watching from the trees. Nasty varmints have dug up daffodil and tulip bulbs as soon as I turned my back. Of the twenty four impatiens I potted, only ten remain. The rest were dug up and carried away by these nasty rodents. They eat from my bird feeders more than the birds do. GRR! I do have corn out for them, but they can strip a cob clean in five minutes.
ReplyDeleteSomeday I will have to make a post about the stories the neighbors tell of the old lady who once lived here. She got special permission from the city council to shot the squirrels in her yard. Miss Carrie, who was in her 70's, would climb out the upstairs bathroom window to stand on the flat roof. With a bottle of whiskey in one hand and her rifle in the other, she would take pot shots at the squirrels. Finally, the neighbors had to stop her from discharging her firearm because there were lots of children in the neighborhood and "You know, she only had that one eye." she sounds like my kind of lady! LOL!
I love your boxers they are so cute !
ReplyDelete"join our growing food community and submit your heirloom recipe for allthe world to share"
Welcome~~~
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Those are some intimidating Boxers you've got there, Lady (NOT)! Now I'm driving myself crazy trying to remember some movie that did actually show a squirrel attached to someone's face - WHAT IS THE NAME OF THAT MOVIE??? (Don't you hate it when you can't remember something very important - lol)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, hope you are safe! Come visit when you can!
I didn't see squirrel fried rice on your list;
ReplyDeleteit's one of my husband's favorites!
and to answer your question, he puts two in the crock pot. ;D
you are too much, i will not be showing Wes the links because he is still trying to convince me that squirrel is a delicacy. i will not eat a squirrel, i will not eat a squirrel, i will not eat a squirrel. i don't care if it tastes like chicken i will not eat a squirrel.
ReplyDeleteLOL! You are too funny Suz! I understand your annoyance with squirrels because we have a lot of them. I just love your descriptions of Ralph and your dogs too. Thanks for the afternoon laugh!
ReplyDeleteI can lend you my killer akitas for a weekend... no more squirrel, bye-bye ralph!
ReplyDeleteThey caught and chopped a gopher in two again this morning, sigh :-(
My next dog will be toothless and have only one leg! LOL
I like squirrels, just not on my plate. Yeccch. *spits fur and tiny bones out*
we have problems with the squirrels down here on the AF base...seems they (the squirrels not the AF folks) think that those transformer things on the poles are where they're supposed to hide their nuts and things - - and there's lots of oak and pecan trees on the base - - so it's a regular occurrence to suddenly be thrown into darkness at work as another squirrels takes a few thousand volts and shatters another transformer...the power guys are good though - they can usually get us back up within 15-30 minutes.....
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute post!! If my mom were there she'd be best friends with your squirrel - call him down from the tree with her GREAT squirrel impression - and feed him from a baby bottle. Yes, she's crazy like that - I mean, she has a great love for animals like that! HA!
ReplyDeleteyou are SO funny!! No squirrels here - that would take some trees over 6 ft tall I suppose... anyway enjoyed reading your antics and can't wait to try some of those recipes!! ;)
ReplyDeleteSquirrel recipes?
ReplyDeleteICK!
Usually when I let Diva out for her morning poo, there are 4 squirrels at or near the bird feeder..... I'll have to mention to them that I now have RECIPES!
I could have told you that tapping on a window won't work -- at least it doesn't for Tennessee squirrels. Bacon wrapped squirrel might do the trick, but not for me. Fortunately we have a good supply of corn cobs up here.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, Suzanne.. I laughed and laughed!!!! In fact, I'm such a good friend that I'm going to scoop up all of our trillion squirrels in our back yard ----and send them to your house!!!! Since you love them so much and are feeding them, I'm sure mine would love to be there --instead of here. I refuse to feed those nasty things!!!! ha
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
There are so many squirrels at my son's college that in his major (Wildlife Biology) they catch and tag them for practice.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the time I was walking under some trees and a squirrel dropped a nut on my head. The little bugger.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma has a big backyard like yours, and we named all the squirrels "Miss Suzie." No, I am not making that up! I don't have any squirrel advice, I just thought you might find that amusing.
ReplyDeleteMy boxer used to be afraid of birds. She was terrified of them. She also used to roll around like that. I miss her so much..still!
ReplyDelete