We had a nice visit with my Grandma and Uncle on Sunday.
FYI: my butt is large. This is according to my 96 yr old Grandma who forced me to eat lots of food even after she told me this. Oh, and Lindsay’s top, could it be maternity wear? NO GRANDMA, she is 13! And 10 minutes into our visit, she told me how much she missed seeing Coach. I swear, sometimes she likes him better than ME!
I love this old woman, NON filtered mouth and all.
*****
We were driving in Coach’s pickup truck this weekend ‘cause he took the big Yukon to carry bodies. (softball bodies)
In his truck there is a little open console area at the top of the roof near the rear-view mirror. This is where we keep our gum. We are gum addicts. Ok, I suppose I am the gum addict here.
This little console is made so you can keep sunglasses in this spot, or a garage remote, possibly a small handgun or just gum. We I like gum.
well, the gum kept falling out. Really, I don’t drive erratic. It is just kept happening. really.
Linds was getting frustrated and said: “I wish this opening had a door on it, the stuff (gum) keeps falling out. What if someone wanted to carry their letter opener here, they could get stabbed in the eye while driving”
I started laughing so hard and realized again how long till we were home. (and near a bathroom)
Then as she is chomping on some gum, totally trying to annoy me, she says:
“If I were a hobo, do you think I could survive on gum alone?”
I started cracking up. She then adds:
“What? gum is plentiful, it is under benches and tables everywhere”
She then proceeds to read the calorie/nutrient numbers…”there are 10 calories in sugar free gum…how many do we need each day to survive??”
SHE will have a one woman show one day…so hoping she makes a million bucks with her zany wit.
Then…I will have ALL the gum I want at my disposal. Yes. Life will be good.
PS. I have never stuck gum anywhere that it did not belong. I am very adamant about gum going INTO the garbage. Who does that?
Cute post. So nice that you still have your grandmother. And she looks so good to be 96. That is so special.
ReplyDeleteI have a gum snapper. Every once in a while you think for a minute that someone fired a gun inside the house.
ReplyDeleteyou are a good audience for her bee!! but heckle linds every now and then so she can be ready for those "drunk" laughers when she hits the stage!!!
ReplyDeleteYour Grandma's unfiltered comments remind me of my mom, now 87. She's lost all her inhibitions.
ReplyDeleteYour 13 year old is a funny kid. Maybe she will make a million bucks.
Sometimes I wish I could be an old lady and say everything on my mind :)
ReplyDeleteHaha :) funny post. We are gum addicts too. It's funny because I had a similar conversation with CG not long ago about the nutrients in gum. I think we determined we liked other foods too much to try so gave up the concept, but Linds brings up a good point about there being gum everywhere.... ewww :)
ReplyDeletewow, your grandma does look great, what's her secret? i bet it's her attitude that keeps her going strong.
ReplyDeletedon't kids say the darnest things. my eight year old totally cracks me up sometimes!
What a cute post! I remember when I was little I drove my grandpa crazy chewing gum. Now, my old teeth hurt to bad to chew gum!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, and it's supposed to be wrapped in paper first, right? So you don't find it in the garbage - er- recycling bin. But gum lasts forever, doesn't it? It doesn't recycle.
ReplyDeleteI saw a news item last week about a (famous!) wall, covered in chewed gum at the Pike Place Market in Seattle. ICK! GROSS!
its very refreshing to see how great a relationship you and the girls have. and your gramma sounds like a hoot! i wanna be just like her when i grow up.
ReplyDeleteerm, i am one of the gum sticker under chairs and desks person. ;(
c
If you could live on gum and then be able to recycle it - wouldn't that be perfect?
ReplyDeleteFunny gal Linds is!!
ReplyDeleteIs chewing gum and talking like eating and talking with your mouth full?
It sounds as if Linds is definitely her mother's daughter. There should be many fascinating posts in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteYour grandma sounds like a hoot! And your daughter is hilarious - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I need your address to send your bookmark.
shelleyupnorth at gmail dot com. Thanks!
I don't chew gum much, Suz, because when I do chew it, I 'think' that I have to chew the devil out of it ---and because of that, I give myself a huge headache. WHY do I have to chew that fast and that hard and that LOUD???? My hubby chews gum--but you'd never know it since it seems to just stay in his mouth to keep him company!!!!! ha ha
ReplyDeleteWe're picky about our gum also---and we buy it in bulk at Sam's (Eclipse). Now--aren't you glad you asked us all about our gum situations???? ha ha
And NO---I can't remember sticking gum under a table--but I've seen it there at restaurants, etc. YUK!!!!!!
Your grandma must be a HOOT.... Such a Cutie!!!!
How are your squirrels????
Hugs,
Betsy
Ok, wait...Linds would try to survive on OTHER people's already chewed and discarded gum?!?! Yikes!!
ReplyDeleteGrandma looks freakin' amazing!!! You got some mighty good genes there, Suzy-Q!
that scene in elf just cracks me up... when he sees all the free gum at the subway! linds could live forever there!! glad you tow were ablet o entertain yourselves int he car... adn very glad that you did not have a letter opener stashed in the gum holder!!
ReplyDeleteOkay..funny but yet makes me a bit quesy!!!
ReplyDeleteNow that is recycling!
sandy toe
Your grandmother is a joy! Sometimes we try too hard to make conversation and make comments that come out wrong. I bet she misses coach...nothing like having a handsome man visit!! You are so sweet to take Linds to see her. These are great memories.
ReplyDeleteI don't chew gum much. but if you make it to VA Blogfest we can sit and chew together.
Don't you wish that your Grandma would just be honest and tell you what she REALLY thinks?? Bwahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteLet me know when Linds is scheduled to appear at Funny Bone in Richmond!
I love your grandma stories...she is such a hoot. And I wonder where you get it and now your daughter too...it's good your keeping this trait in the family...lol.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm sure our Granny's were seperated at birth!! Mine has also lost her filter. What a sweetie she is:)
ReplyDeleteNaa naa! I responded :)
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh too much.
ReplyDeleteYour butt is perfect.
Black men like big butts.
Gary tells me all the time.
Of course, that is the ONLY thing on me that is not big.
Huge stomache.
No one likes that.
Huge chin.
No one likes that.
Fat back? I have one
But my butt?
Flat as a pancake.
Shoot me now.
Hey, this is so good.
Should I make it a blog post? : )
Maybe tomorrow!
Your daughter IS you, you know that, don't you? Not only does she look JUST like you did at her age, I could TOTALLY hear your voice saying some of these things.....! Hilarious! :)
ReplyDeletewhy am i always the last one to comment!
ReplyDeleteMaybe bring gramma some gum on the next visit, the kind that sticks to teeth. It'll make for interesting conversation!
"mmmouahahaggarenraiapfttf"
"yes, I agree!"
I love your dogs.....they are your dogs....??? Beautiful.....I just came across your blog.....love it love it love it.....
ReplyDeleteI remember once when my great grandmother was alive and still living on her own my grandma took me for a visit. When we knocked on the door she was surprised and looked sad. She said that she didnt have any treats to serve us. We told her we didnt care, but then as she sat us at the table she pulled out three different kinds of desserts, candy bars, and sodas! She still acted as if it wasn't enough. I swear if you didnt walk out of her house 10 lbs heavier you ruined her week! :) Grandma's are so silly! I cant wait to be a grandma and wear sweaters with kittens on them, and give my grandkids buckets of candy, and not have to deal with the sugar high, and not wanting to go to bed at night! :)
ReplyDeleteHave you had the gum that is shaped like little cubes in the YUMMIEST flavors around? Wish I knew what it was called but WOW is that some good gum!
ReplyDeleteI have a daughter that makes me crack up like that. I was lamenting her growing up and boys being attracted to her. She started talking about her favorite cartoons... very good diversionary tactic!
I think you should write a book about all of this.
ReplyDeleteNow as far as gum is concerned, I think I chew about 3 sticks a year. I used to like bubblegum, but facial hair and bubblegum don't make a great combination.
LOL! I LOVE gum too! One year for Christmas my friend gave me a bag containing one of every kind of gum at the checkout counter. How awesome is that? My mom sends me gum to China. Mmmm...gum.
ReplyDeleteYour grandma is too cute. I look forward to the day I have an unfiltered mouth with no guilt. Love the stories!
i love your grandma, awesome stuff this is what we will remember when they are gone, all the good stuff, and you have it a plenty. lots of good stuff here, love it thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteA letter opener? What a fun girl she must be!
ReplyDelete...hahaha! Your story made me laugh...funny post. There is nothing like a fresh stick of gum, or that gum smell that always wafted out of my mom's purse when I was a kid...
ReplyDeleteHahaha!! I love Linds!
ReplyDeleteAnd who just tosses gum on the ground?? I hope every time they toss a piece, they step on a nice gooey piece!
She is so flipping cute, just like her mama! So witty and fun! I wish I could hang out w/you two. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and about your witch post? I am totally with you there. I was terrified of them as a child and always had nightmares that they were taking me away from my mother. What's up w/that, anyway? I remember crying hysterically when I was 4 or 5 on the Snow White ride at Disneyland, all because there was a WITCH at the end. What a wuss. LOL
And I wonder why my kids have issues!
I love your Grandma! Have I said that before? LOVE her!
ReplyDeleteShe is so cute! Her comments made me giggle :)
ReplyDelete