The one where I visit a Doctor in a closet and I need a tongue transplant.

So, I broke down and finally went to the Dr. yesterday. I really didn't want it to get to that point because, and I hope I'm not telling you something you don't know, but all the sick people are at the Doctors office.

My regular Dr stopped taking our insurance, so right now I really don't have a regular.
But I am regular in contrast to the lady I will meet up with in line at CVS.

My friend told me about the Minute Clinic. Have you heard of these? Just a little closet office inside CVS and you're seen by a nurse practitioner. I mean, I wouldn't go there if I fell off the roof while pressure washing and had a bone jutting out of my skin, but for my issue it was sufficient.

I was sure I had a sinus infection and of course, I was right. Sadly, they wouldn't pay ME for the diagnosis, I still had to pay THEM. 'Merica
Anyhoo, I'm on antibiotics, some saline spray, and Flonase. I'm certain I'll be feeling like my normal sassy self in a hot minute.

The day before I had a bunch of errands to run starting with picking up a package at UPS, then Target.
I went into the UPS place and the lady fetched my package for me. Then I had to sign paperwork and this entire time, I needed to cough. I was holding in my cough. Kind of like holding your pee, but you know in my throat.
Finally, package in hand, papers signed and I almost made it to the door when my body wouldn't hold in the cough one more second.

*COUGH*

I'm not kidding when I say a lady 4 feet behind me let out a gasp so big, that I know tons of old UPS germs made a beeline for her respiratory system.
Calm down, people.

After I didn't infect the patrons of the UPS store, I headed to Target for my typical shopping run that I do every 10-14 days. On my list were some various items and apparently a hot ticket item.
No, it wasn't for Tickle Me Elmo.

*cue the dramatic background music*
               
              TOILET PAPER

Do you think they had any TP at Target? 

Nope. Nada.
Not a square to spare.

I sent a family text complaining about the toilet paper and Linds let on that she is always stocked up and she would share, but only a square.
My people.

The next day after my visit with the minute clinic Dr inside the CVS closet, I purchased a six-pack of bud toilet paper like a normal human.
There was a lady behind me that had at least 48 rolls of TP.
My tongue was bleeding from me biting it because I wanted to ask if she needed a referral to a gastro specialist or did she want me to help her find the Imodium to assist with her apparent issue,
but on this day apparently, I had self-control.
Having self-control really takes a bite out of my fun.

I'm still very confused by it all and it's the last thing I would think of hoarding. 
Food? Sure.
Medicine? Yeah.
Wine? Absofreakinglutely.
Toilet paper? Not even on my radar.

If anyone could clarify, please let me know.

Bueller?  Bueller? 

Last night as I was almost finished with dinner (the chores!)
I said to the Coach, can I still have ice cream if I don't finish my chicken? (I told you I'm 12)
Oh, nevermind, we don't have any ice cream.
His response: I'll take you out for ice cream, but you have to stay in the car so you don't scare anyone.
My people.  

I decided I didn't really want ice cream, although the prospect of having it delivered to the car was appealing.

I already shared two nonsensical posts this week and I was thinking that was enough, but this one's for you, Kari.
*holds bud light up in the air*
Wait, I don't drink beer.

Wishing everyone a healthy weekend doing something fun and by fun, I don't mean hoarding paper products.

Bee sweet.
Bee healthy.
Bee a good human.
Damnit.

XOXO