My udders ache just thinking about it.

The place I like to visit the least is the gross store. I mean the grocery store.

Sometimes I wonder if I could live on tomatoes and peppers from the garden only. 

But I also love cheese with my peppers and tomatoes and salad and potatoes and and and and and and and and….

I love cheese so much, there should be a warning sign in the dairy department with my photo on it. 

Then I think….hey, Suz, you are clever and hardworking, why don't you learn how to make cheese? 

Then I think to mySUZself you have to get a cow to make cheese. 

Cows are SO cute…the big eyes….the long eyelashes…such gentle souls and I'd name my cow veronica. No, Elsie.  Elsie it is! 

She would have a nice little sheltered home next to my garden. 

Heated in the winter, fans in the summer of course. 

I'd wake up everyday and milk Elsie to make my cheese to accompany my tomatoes and peppers and salad and and and and….  

Of course, after all that milking, then I would feel complete udder empathy for Elsie. 

Poor Elsie's udders. 

I might just give up cheese. You know….for udders sake.

The moral of this story is that I can likely just live on produce from the garden.

And maybe some imported cheese on occasion? 

Oh, I am udderly rotten. 

Everyone should spend the weekend at our house….

but NOT at the same time…could get kinda cramped.


Thank you for all your kind comments on my last post. After talking it over with *professionals, I'm feeling much better about our safety. 

*Two seasoned sheriffs.
We are making some upgrades to our security system and I'm training the cats how to attack on command. So far, it's not going so great, {cat nip makes them lazy} but I won't give up. 

We had a great weekend with our fun company!! 

"Uncle Coach, why IS Aunt Suzanne taking our picture?"

 "Aunt Suzanne, please take a picture of me with Cocoa"  

 "Suzanne you can ONLY have ONE dog. I'm going to take Cocoa to my house and you can keep Ozzie." 

Me: "Why don't you want Ozzie?" 

Superboy: "Because he has that mole on his head"
{{yes, he is growing a weird non-lethal and non-pretty mole on his head}}
{SuperBoy was informed that after their summer vacation, HE can get a dog of his own…just ONE, that rule apparently applies to everyone. Just ONE}

Superboy: "Hey Dada, you take a picture with Ozzie."

 "Let me put on my monkey hat with Cocoa"

Suz: "Don't you know how sad we will be if Cocoa doesn't live with us anymore?"

Superboy: "No thank you, I think you'll be fine"

He is so polite as he is breaking my heart! 

We were able to get out for an adult dinner for Heather's  b-day. The Coach had a tasting menu set up at a snazzy place downtown….a lot of fun with some *exotic food.
Everyone loved it. Well, me? I was ready to hit a burger joint salad bar afterwards as I was still hungry!

( *I don't do veal or duck) 

Our weekend was full of belly laughs and joy….I hope yours was as well.

XOXO

There might be a shoe shortage and crime interferes with my sleep.

We have been busy bees around here…I've SO much to tell and SO little time to tell it. 

We renovated our master closet…not a small feat; it took 7 days. 

I put all my shoes into a plastic tub and evaluated the situation.

Me: Coach, look at my shoe collection.

Coach: I know, crazy right.

Me: It's obvious that I NEED MORE!

Yeah, we are kinda exhausted in De La Casa Busy Bee right now. 

***

The physical exhaustion isn't as bad as the mental exhaustion….although the mental part will eventually smack the physical part in the azz. 

SOMETHING I never thought I would have to discuss with my girls is  

the protocol IN case of a home Invasion.

Talk about a reality hitting you in the butt. There was an incident VERY CLOSE TO US and it has scared the beejeesus out of me.
I can't sleep more than an hour or two without seeing it play out in my home.

What would I do? What would the kids do? What would Ozzie do?

{Ok, we know Ozzie wouldn't do anything}

THIS is why I don't watch the news. I can't handle the bad stuff because it STAYS in my brain for eternity. (unlike math and history)

We are working on steps to ensure our safety and for me to get past this….but like most things, it will take time. 

And probably weapons.
But mostly wine. 

Please have a great weekend! We have FunCompany joining us this weekend and I'm stoked. 

Hey, who says stoked anymore?

Just me?

Tell me something good because I need a distraction!!

XOXO

Nipping MaryJane

Last week I was perusing the plant section at the depot with my niece when we came across catnip. She said I should plant some for the orangies. Apparently I was at a weak moment and I purchased 2 catnip plants and some cat grass too. 

Cat grass…..as in grass for cats to eat. Not grass made out of cats. {Whew}

Within 15 minutes of planting the greens Maisy (I refer to her as 'the crotchety' one) was all over the catnip.

Here's the proof:

She was drooling and rolling all over ONE leaf~~ heaven!

Later I caught her eating some of the grass. Wow~~instant entertainment for the felines and ME!

Hey, Cocoa----you're not a cat!

On Saturday we had a full house….someone saw the catnip and said: 

You know what that smells like, don't you?

Me: No? What? as I picked a leaf, squished it and INHALED...my brain was instantly transferred to any of the thousands of concerts I've attended.  

That smell?? More MaryJane than anything cat like. 

No wonder Maisy was drooling and chillaxing….then of course she had the munchies! 

On the upside, her glaucoma has improved greatly. 

I might need to purchase a one way ticket to Colorado for my old crotchety one; this made her less crotchety!

XOXO

Our friend Carlos, Superbowl and Elevator anxiety

 While planning our Vegas get-away,  the Coach purchased tickets to see Carlos Santana perform at the House Of Blues for Saturday night.

We had a beautiful dinner in the Foundation room prior to the show.

 What a night! What a show! SO much fun. Carlos Santana is still a great performer, showman, musician. (66 years old???)

You might have heard this little ditty a time or two:

Don and I might have been separated from the wolf pack late in the night--(anyone watch hangover 1?) but luckily someone found us and guided us back to our sweet suite.
I was surprised to NOT wake up next to Mike Tyson on Sunday morning.

Our Sunday morning was spent repenting the sins from the night before at the House of Blues Sunday Gospel Brunch. So fun….lovely music.

10 minutes later we were at the casino. So much for repenting….heathens.

For Superbowl we rented a party room at the top of the Madalay Bay. {foundation room} I think it's  on the 61st floor…..have I mentioned that this is the trip where I realized I have ELEVATOR ANXIETY???

More on that later. This was a fun event. We had our own personal wait staff….no really, she was a nice girl. She had to dress like that for the job….not that Don or the Coach noticed!

BOYS!!!

Twas a fun time for all involved. Oh, and there was a football game going on. Did you know???

Ok, I think I'm done with talking about Vegas.
Three posts….that's all I can do. I'm exhausted!

About that elevator anxiety…. it's a real thing! (for me)

Happy VD!

XOXOXO

Living {almost} Like The Prez

We had a fabulous suite for our weekend in Vegas. Our friend Heather finagled the hook-up of hook-ups at the seasons of Four. We are talking a super duper Suite deal. 

The suite was 1700 square feet. I could not believe the size of it. Can you believe they offered us the Presidential suite prior to this….the nice young lady at reception: "The Presidential suite is a better size, at 2200 square feet." 

We inquired as to what Presidents have stayed here. She just giggled, so I'm assuming it was Clinton. 

When we got in the elevator I said to the Coach: "She must know you are the President of your company and that you were once the President of the Girls Little League softball. "

I sat at the dining room table for 10 minutes, but not one waiter showed up so I moved on.

The reason for the suite was for all eight of us to have a 'meeting spot.' (poor photo)

We had a kitchen with a full size fridge. You know, for all our beer, wine, water, juice. 

There was even an office off the entryway. We felt the need to pull people in every once in a while and give them a good 'talking' to…

"Listen, I know you're doing your best, but I think we have to let you go…."

The closet was so large, I recall napping in there right after I was fired.
The company was going in a 'different direction'. 

I think the Coach is about to get fired by Don; that smile will soon fade. 

Yes, we are thirteen years old. Never mind the fact that most of the group hires and fires in real life….

I was fascinated by the dining room light. 

Yes, I'm usually fascinated by sparkly things. 

We lived large for a few days….so much fun that my face still hurts.
Don't you know, I still want that sparkly round ball of light. I think it would look great in my closet.
Of course, I'll need a dimmer to use during nap time. 

The most tolerant city on the planet

We had a fantastic time in Vegas. (Yes, most of you figured it out---smarties YOU are)

I'll share some highlights and photos soon. 

FYI: Suz almost always wins. The Coach almost always loses more than Suz wins. So, as a family, we are losers. 

Travel delays are always fun, aren't they? We had a "layover" in Houston, TX on the way home.
It ended up taking us 36 hours to get from Vegas to Florida. And we didn't even fly into the airport that we left from….we flew into Tampa, rented a car and drove to our airport to get our car out of prison.
Airline issues, weather issues.
Could always be worse, so I'm not complaining. 

Houston is a city I would not have minded visiting...you know, I was picturing Urban Cowboy. *Where is that hunky Johnny T*

Well, we didn't get so much Urban Cowboy as we got semi decent mall,  airport motel and The Jack In The Box. Yes, A Jack in THE Box. 

I recommend the strawberry milkshake.

At least we had our recent memories of Vegas to make us smile. 

Overlooking the strip at the Mandarin Oriental Bar. Yes, that is man nipple. 

In case you are wondering, I refrained from getting a tattoo.
This time.