This one time, I almost called the paramedics to get my child unstuck from________

The blank could be filled with many scenarios.

Lo got her head stuck in the back of a chair one time. Yes. It is funny now, but horrific at the time.

I could picture the phone call to 911:

Hello, yes, I need emergency care. My child got her head stuck in the back of the kitchen chair. What? NO. Her head is of normal size!!!

I don't remember how I got her unstuck...but she is not walking around with a chair attached today so I did something right.

Lo also got her elbow stuck in the handle of a play baby carriage. The child was screaming bloody murder. It was one of those plastic little tike's deals and I used BUTTER to get it unstuck.

A carriage similar to this one. No, this is not my child. I did some crazy stuff, but I never gave her a boy bowl cut. ;)

Lindsay had this little stuffed poodle. The poodle came with some of the old fashioned hair curlers. The plastic ones that have little tiny plastic spikes to hold your hair.

She thought it would be cute to put a curler on her finger. Seems that when she had been wearing it, her finger, trying to get circulation again swelled up and she/I could not get it off.

Again, screaming bloody murder.

Again, with the butter.

**note to self: get the girls cholesterol checked**

I know they did more things to me themselves than that....what with the cheerios up the nose, Cheerios in the EAR, the raisins up the nose, Lo getting a piece of lead stuck in her EAR and as a toddler she sneezed an entire piece of spaghetti out of her nostril. (sure wish we had recorded that one)

I don't remember doing any of that stuff when I was a kid. I was good. (My Mom could paint a different picture)

BUT.....When I was preggo with Lo and working in an office in Dallas...an ice cream man would come through the parking lot daily. (Ok, I flagged him down daily) I would occasionally everyday get myself an icy treat. (50lb weight gain who?)

One day, I was so darn happy to have my ice cream, I ripped open the paper and stuck that cold baby to my starving mouth. Really, I must not have eaten for 22 minutes by now. I was ravenous.

The temp of the Popsicle combined with the temp of my tongue made some sort of science experiment.

My tongue was immediately glued to the ice pop. I felt sheer panic...imagining myself living out the rest of my days with this ice pop stuck to my tongue. What would my baby think of me?

I could not talk. All I could do was motion with my hands and say: ahhhaaahhhhaaaahhhhheeeelllllppppppmmmmmeeeeeppwwwaaaaeeasseee.

All my coworkers were laughing at me....Suppose they were tired of all my eating all day long? naaahhhh

After a few minutes of my aaaahhhheeellllpppmmmeee in the middle of the office with NO help, I was pure entertainment for these people.... I ran to the break room sink and ran some water over my mouth and the ice pop. After a moment I was free.

Free to eat again. That was the most agonizing 2.5 minutes of my life.

Of course I refrained from more ice pops for one day a while.

I am not even going to get into all the stuff the Coach has done to himself as a kid or as an adult....Need not worry about someone else injuring him, he did it all by himself. **bless his Mother**

Did anyone else get their tongue stuck on anything.....any food shot out of your nose? Stuff in your ear?

What is the deal with cheerios anyway? Are they just begging to be put somewhere besides the mouth????

The toddler years are quite fun. But also dangerous. Glad we survived them.

I suppose the upside of having teenagers is they don't get themselves into predicaments...well ones that concern cheerios, raisins, plastic toys, etc... We are onto much bigger issues....uggghhh. It hurts my brain thinking of it all.