Unmentionables.

Is there anything I won’t discuss? Possibly not.
Occasionally I walk into the laundry room and I see this:

I always chuckle to myself. I put them there…to air dry, but the vision still surprises me.
I think: Wow, we have a situation here. A bra situation.
I counted 13 bras here that were washed just yesterday. I do laundry nearly everyday.
Only 2 of these belong to me. None belong to the Coach.
11 bras between two girls that were worn in the last few days. WOW.
Clearly, these are around more for their looks than for their necessity.
Some are designed to be workhorses. They have their work cut out for them and they are not always pretty. Those would be mine.
I can't even remember when mine went from cute and colorful to blah.....maybe around 1999?
Perhaps a trip to the lingerie store is needed for Mom.
And I don’t usually go to that ladies store that is named after *someone* and her secret. Cause I figured out a long time ago what *her* secret is:
Their overpriced bras don’t fit me. Secret revealed.
But I dread going….almost as bad as buying a bathing suit. Or going to my dentist for my yearly pap exam. Yes, I said dentist. We have bad insurance, what can I say?
I dread it.
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Ok, for a cute bra story. My daughter is going to kill me……so you know it has to be good.
The Scene: My Grandmas house for our family Christmas celebration 6 years ago.
The peeps: Grandma, Uncle, Coach, Me, our 2 girls ages 7 and 10. My cousin, his wife and their 2 girls ages 8 and 12.
Grandma takes pride in purchasing just the most embarrassing wonderful gifts for each of us. They are usually taken to goodwill as soon as we make it back home. But we love her and I have taught the girls to fake it. IT is part of life. Fake the ‘being happy’ for your OLD OLD Great Grandma.
We are all sitting around Grandma’s Florida room opening up our tacky as hell wonderful gifts.
Linds (7yrs old) opens up a box and blindingly reaches in and pulls out a pair of colorful panties and a training bra.
Her face went from smiling and happy to devastated in one split mili-second.
Have you ever seen a baby projectile vomit?
Well, my child projectile cried. The tears SHOT straight out of her eyes.
She started bawling.
I was floored. I had never seen her react to anything like this before that did not also involve bleeding.
We were all stunned and just kind of starred at her for a moment, trying to digest what in the heck was wrong with her.
I grabbed the bra/underwear and shoved them back into the box and we finished opening up gifts and did not say a word about it.
BTW: the other 3 girls also received matching bra’s/undies with NO tears.