The one where I lighten up and ditch the {Christmas} crabs.

I've been known to be a crab at Christmas. All the pressure....the 'timeline'. 

On one hand I LOVE Christmas. I love the 'meaning' of Christmas.....the celebration.

On the other hand, I LOATHE Christmas. The stress, the pressure. 

A few years back, I put my foot down and took away most of the stress by stopping gift exchanging  among the adults. 

Seriously, that was the best.thing.ever.
Of course, the Coach has cheated on this deal. He is on my naughty list.

So, I'm less crabby about that part. But I do feel like Christmas decorating shuffles my life so much because I am such an 'orderly' person. I like routine. And Christmas decorating is not part of my routine. 

That might sound really weird to most people....and if I really wanted to analyze myself {which is my favorite sport} I would think it goes back to my childhood. Divorced parents, Mom worked a lot of hours, alcoholic/bi-polar father, going from one house to another? no routine?? 

I could totally be a shrink. 

One of my favorite childhood photos. 

Me and my poor doll at my Dad's trailer. Note the bottle of Whisky behind me and a large knife. I'm pretty sure I used that knife to cut my bangs.

My bangs just grew out last year. 

So, yeah, I embrace routine and order. It comforts me. 

Ok, now that we've ventured deep into Suz's psyche....let's talk about how much I've let stuff go.

I used to have the tree in our living room decorated 'formally'. 

Gold/silver/balls & pretties; lots of foo-foo stuff.

In the family room we have a little funky tree and we put all the home made ornaments, along with some silly/tacky things. It was too cute for words. 

Lindsay put her foot down this year. She didn't want the trees like we've done them in the past. {apparently my need for routine and order has not been gifted to my girls....who if we analyzed, grew up with order and routine!} 

All this shrinking is hurting my head.

2012

 Lolo couldn't care either way. So what does that mean?

So, I let them have at it.

Everything on the big tree...except balls. 

I'm so far gone, I've allowed a GLEE ornament into the living room. 

*me laughing hysterically*

BTW: Much to my children's chagrin, the photo/school ornaments will always be my favorite. 

Oh, wait, who are these people, because they appear to be quite normal.

The funky tree is now a 'ball only' tree.

Makes sense right? Ok, no it doesn't, but I don't even care.  

And see the top there where it is totally crooked.

I'm not even going to fix it. 

I think they did a bang up job. 

Guess what.
I'm looking forward to Christmas.

Do you really think I can make it to Christmas without fixing the Tree top?
*crossing fingers*

The one where I buy myself the best gift ever!

A few weeks ago, as I was slaving {cleaning} our floors, I had an epiphany. Again. I have them daily. Usually my epiphany includes me hiring a dreamy housekeeper who helps me with keeping our floors tidy.
The housekeeper is thorough, dependable and won't steal my wedding rings. Just like me, but not me.
On this particular day, as I looked up, I saw one of those cute girls being all 'newsy' on morning TV. She was sharing this wonderful new joy, that would soon be mine.
My Robot. 


I know there have been some of these guys around for a few years, but I've never heard any good news about them. They malfunction. They don't work like they should.
But this guy, well he is all things awesome.

I purchased him the week before Thanksgiving and I am in love. Still. Every time his little motor starts up, it thrills me like the first time.

He is smart, efficient and doesn't require any coddling. Perfect.
I was calling him: MY ROBOT. But my Aunt Trisha suggested I give him a real name.
Roberto (the Robot) was born. You must say it in an Italian accent, since he is my Italian butler now.

We have a lot of square footage. And I'm not bragging...it is a pain in the azz.  Cleaning the floors has always been the most time consuming and this guy right here cuts my cleaning time down immensely.

I run Roberto daily, and daily his little dirt cup is almost full. He goes places I don't go on a regular basis. Under my settee. Under our media cabinets.

You are advised to not leave any slim cords hanging down anywhere. There was one instance where he got a hold of a skinny cord. (Coach's headphones) Roberto merely ingested the entire length of the cord, realized what he had done and turned himself off. Crisis averted and the cord was not damaged.

He has a wonderful pattern that I've noticed. When I ask him to clean. {I push a button} he will either start towards the front of the house {Family room, kitchen, Living room, Dining room, Master bedroom, mudroom and hallway to the girls rooms.} OR he will head towards the back of the house {Large/long halls, craft room, playroom, Coach's room} He will clean for about 1 1/2 hours before his battery is tired. THEN....this is where the magic happens:

HE will bring himself BACK to his charging station and revive his own battery!

I know. 
Amazeballs.
After he is charged up again {usually 1-2 hours} he will simply GO BACK to where he left off prior and start cleaning again.
It just makes my heart pitter patter hearing him cleaning for me.

He does like to fall into our guest bathroom shower and get stuck. So, I just close that door when he is working to avoid the stuckness.

{There is an included boundary marker/strip that you can lay down to have him avoid any areas you don't want to send him. I started using it after I realized the issue with the guest shower. Have I mentioned that I don't like to read directions?} 

There is a way to program him for daily cleans, but I like telling him when I'm ready to have him clean since my schedule varies. I'm bossy like that.

Here he is working his magic under the dining room table. Sometimes I move the chairs for him, sometimes I make him work around them. Notice he does not bang into my furniture...unlike some other helpers I've had. 

If I want him to clean a certain room, I just pick him up, place him in the specific room and shut the door  so he can focus.
How often can you put a man in your room, shut the door and he will clean everything...even under your bed. And then not expect anything from you?
Never.

I'm sure you are wondering how Cocoa and Ozzie would react to him. Well, I kinda knew they would be cool...they aren't concerned with Rosie or my steam mop.
They give him a sideways glance some days, but they realize how happy he makes me and they just let him work.
Did I ever tell you my dogs were super smart?

He goes over my rugs easily too...nothing slows him down I tell ya! He makes patterns in his robot brain....and you can watch him navigate over one specific area until it is done...

Speaking of Rosie. I still love her....but she has been sitting in the closet now for several weeks, not seeing the light of day since Roberto has moved in. I feel kinda bad. So bad that I'll have the girls take her out and vacuum the driveway today just for the fun of it.

BTW: I purchased Roberto at Bed Bath & Beyond using my 20% off coupon. I did purchase the upgraded version made for 'pet' homes. The Coach told me they have the regular version {much cheaper} at Costco.

P.S. I was not compensated for this review....but Roberto compensates me daily with his capabilities.

P.S.S. I close the girls bedrooms when Roberto is running. If he were to accidentally get in there, he might commit suicide. {Too many obstacles to clean around!}

I give Roberto 27 thumbs up. That is 27 out of 2! 3 of those thumbs are because I know he will never swipe my jewelry!

XO

Monday Scmonday

Happy Monday to you all.

What? You don't think Monday is a happy day?

Me neither, but I try to fake it till I make it. Happy that is. 

I've got some good stuff to share and I've been holding back.

Why you ask?

I am a funny bird. I have a hard time sharing good stuff when I know there is always some bad stuff happening to others.

I know, I know....there is ALWAYS bad stuff happening somewhere. IT is inevitable. 

My blog friend C has had a really hard time the last few years. Health and financial issues. 

If you are a praying person, could you please send up a prayer or two in her name? She desperately needs some good health sent her way. It's getting harder and harder for her to be in her happy place. 

Also, she could use a hand or ten to help with financial woes as well....if you can spare a buck or two it would be much appreciated. 

A good cause is a good cause. Plus, she is sad that I won't give her my boxers. 

The dogs, not my shorts. 

And, back to the good things to share.

Someone is trying to make me feel the Christmas spirit. And I'm not talking about anyone prying me with alcohol. I've been known to have been bitten by the Christmas Crabbies. And I don't even spend that much time at the beach. Damn crabs.  

I was surprised on Saturday morning with a Secret Santa bag of goodies. 24 to be exact. 

I'll give you the deets later. 

Oh, and I could be Magnum P.I. minus the 'thick' mustache...cause I figured out who it was quickly.

Also....I might be the owner of the best darn piece of domestic equipment on the planet. 

I got a robot to vacuum my house. I wrote a post on it. A personal review of sorts and then I thought: Perhaps ONLY I care about something this wonderful??? 

Do you want to know? Do you care? 

Let me know so I don't waste the time of anyone. 

Lets recap:

Prayers for my friend Chris.

I'm trying to rid myself of Christmas crabs. 

Anyone care about domestic ingenuity that has changed my life?

Ok. carryon.

I have to pretty myself up and get to work. And that is taking longer and longer....

XOXO

The one where I imagine I'm smarter than everyone.

I am fairly certain that you had a nice Thanksgiving. I'm fairly certain that if you were at our house, your Thanksgiving would have been a little bit funner. 

Fun is our middle name. 

 Can't tell you our last name, it's a secret.

 The food was awesome. My Mom and Aunt prepared a major portion of our dishes/desserts two days leading up to THE day. {Smart!} We have two full sized fridges, but there was talk about renting a third. Just talk. 

I did something super smart this year. I purchased an electric roaster. 
 Therefore, my oven was free for the 38 casseroles and pies. 

 I might be exaggerating. We only had 37 casseroles and pies.
But seriously, cooking my turkey all by it's lonesome in the roaster OUTSIDE was brilliant. 

The house did not heat up and the turkey was cooked in 3 hours as opposed to 7.

 Oh, and we continued our Thanksgiving tradition by playing football.

 Well, I just kinda ran back and forth {looking pretty} while others played football. 

 One thing you should never do though, is play football with Cocoa's football.

 She really wanted to play 'with' us with her football. But that was getting kind of dangerous with all the tripping she likes to do.
So, she was tied up like some janky 'hood dog. 

 When you play football with people who are in their upper 40's, early 50's and late 60's, you need to have less tripping than necessary. 

 I might have been the only one who never fell, rolled or was tackled. This is why you should just run back and forth {looking pretty} while watching others play.
See, I am brillianter than you thought. 

Ozzie was exhausted just watching me. 

We had a great week with my people here. I can't wait till next year.
Can we just skip Christmas and head to New Years?

XOXO