Misled by my dreams.

Some, of you are under the impression that I am mostly normal, as well as mostly perfect. And I can understand why....that is the persona that I throw out there.

I hate to break any of those ideas, because they are mostly true. But if I were to be an honest person, which is not a fun person, those ideas are not true. Mostly fiction.  I am not really normal, but in my eyes...that's just perfect. I haven't met a normal person that I liked in like...um forever.

 Me, contemplating deep thoughts...like "what are we having for lunch today and does my butt look bigger today than yesterday?"

Two facts you might not know about me: I always sleep with at least ONE ear plugged and I love chewing sugar free gum during my waking hours.
If I am without a pack of gum, someone will die.

Those two little facts are this entire post.

The ear plugs are for plugging the sound other sleepers. I refer to the ear plugs as marriage savers.
Some nights I sleep with both ears plugged...it just depends on, well, you know,  how sensitive my hearing is on each particular night.

So, the other night I had a dream that I was craving gum so badly....it was like a addict going through meth withdrawals. {I learn this stuff from watching "Intervention"}

In my dream, I found the perfect piece of gum and I plopped it into my mouth. Oh, relief. Joy. Happiness. Pure bliss.


do you know where I am going with this?


Yeah, I pulled out a freakin' ear plug and PUT IT INTO MY MOUTH!

Yes, I was in a deep sleep and YES, this woke me up immediately.

I said to myself: Ewwww.....ear wax!

How weird is that?
Good thing I don't sleep with that can of mace anymore.

This is a lesson that I plan on learning from. I'll remember to never have any of the following near me while I sleep:
laxatives, rat poison, hand grenades, raw eggs, oreos, broken glass, rocks, newborn babies....
Oh, wait, that list will be endless!

Wow, after reading this again, I will be quite embarrassed if I am the only one who has done this. Please tell me that YOU have also mistaken an ear plug for sugarless gum!

FYI: ear wax tastes just as bad as you might imagine. gag.