I wish I could run.
I mean, I CAN run.
But it is best to save that nonsense for when someone is chasing me. With a knife.
If they have a gun, forget it.
I wish I could run for exercise.
Lots of people do it,
I envy those runners.
Burning all those calories.
They make me a bit mad. Out there running and burning those calories.
I want to burn calories quickly too. But I can’t.
I see those runners running and I think: BRAGGERS!!!
Every once in a while, I will try it. for a minute or two.
It hurts.
It hurts my feet.
It hurts my ankles.
It hurts my knees.
It hurts my ears.
WHAT???
my ears???
Yes, my ears.
You see, when I run, I have to move my arms.
My arms are connected to my shoulders. are yours?
My right shoulder talks to me.
My right shoulder is a LOUD talker.
it goes
click
clack
click
clack
CLICK
CLACK.
CLICK.CLACK.CLICK.CLACK.CLICK.CLACK.
It sounds like a couple of little tap dancers are following me.
And those tap dancers are holding click clackers.
My IPod can’t even drown out the noise.
Does your body talk back to you?
{All images borrowed from google}
My body doesn't have too much to say to me, but my knees and back told me to quit running a few years ago and walk instead :)
ReplyDeleteYou're a funny lady, I love how you write things!
Back before my ankle injury, I did crazy things like exercise.....
ReplyDeleteTotally! I hardly have a joint that doesn't scream something at me daily. Supposedly swimming is the one exercise I can do without pain, but then me in a bathing suit would cause LOTS of pain to any poor onlookers. So, I'll walk and have an occasional jog. I-yi-yi!!
ReplyDeleteyep. my knee and my hip! but not too often. yet.
ReplyDeletei love your tree hugger photo!! while you were there, did you happen to see a pink visor swimming by? (haha!)
ReplyDeletei wish i could be a runner too!
ReplyDeleteOh yes my body talks to me every day. Don't move that way - oh that hurts - I shouldn't have done that...Funny post
ReplyDeleteJust reading this makes me miss working out even though I have lost the drive over the past few months in dealing with injuries. But, that is all going to change because next week I MUST start working out again. My dream is to be one of those "braggers" :) again. My goal is to run in the this charity race and be on a team with my brothers and my kids, towards the end of this year. But, yeah my body talks to me. Right now it's telling me to drink some more coffee. :)
ReplyDeleteYes...it talks to more than I want it too!
ReplyDeletesandy toe
You know, ALL runners start out as walkers, then joggers. Just sayin ;)
ReplyDeleteWhen we were in high school I used to run for exercise and to build endurance for field hockey. My husband to be used to run with me--backwards. That's how slow I was.
ReplyDeleteI don't run. I elliptical. So much nicer!
ReplyDeleteI am with you 100% on the "runner's envy." I used to run, and it is fabulous for fitness. But nowadays, my knees don't like it, and the rest of me agrees. To have a runner's body...well, every time the Title 9 catalog, or the Athleta catalog arrives, I WISH*I WISH*I WISH I was a runner.
ReplyDeleteNow, I'm a walker, which is lovely and gentle. But a walker's body is not the same as a runner's body, truth be told. XO
Ha---just wait 'til you are 67 1/2, Suz.... Everything in my body talks back to me constantly these days!!!! Now it's the top of my left foot.. Doesn't hurt a lick 'til I walk on it... Whuz up wid that?????? ha
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
I can't run either, but I don't think my body is quite as talkative as yours. At least my iPod can drown out my body's complaints. Fortunately they now say that walking is as good (if not better) than running.
ReplyDeleteNo, no never run! running is bad for your joints and your boobs.
ReplyDeleteMy knee clicks sometimes, but I don't hear it when I run. I don't hear anything, because I'm wearing a hat to keep my ears from freezing off. I jog some in the wintertime, mostly to keep in shape. I don't want Mischief to have to carry 20 extra pounds, come spring!
ReplyDeleteYep. Every time I squat down for something, my knee pops. And when I rock in the rocking chair, one ankle pops. Every time. Maybe we need some WD-40! LOL
ReplyDeleteI hate running more than I hate cleaning my house. After 20 years of aerobics, my knees finally dropped the red flag!! I'll just stick with yoga for now;)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Yes, running from someone with a gun? Why bother...
ReplyDeleteYes, not when I'm running but when I do aerobics. I get pops and clicks and it makes me crazy!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I got a whole symphony going on here! My knees, ankles, hips, back, they all want in on it! Too funny.
ReplyDeleteI just think it is sooooo boring, and it makes me feel yucky. That must mean it is bad for me.
ReplyDeleteMy hair dresser once said--"If you see me runnin' call the police--somebody is after me!"
ReplyDeletemy hair dresser and I think alike!
it just looks like it would hurt more than feet, ankles, knees, and ears--if you know what I mean!
When I try to run, my boobs announce "WE'RE NOT ENJOYING THIS!" so I have no choice but to sit back down on the couch and watch more TV. :)
ReplyDeleteOh yes my body is saying, "get your fat as* off your sorry pity party pony and onto the treadmill..you've been workin' that knee injury long enough!"
ReplyDeleteIronically both my children, who swore they'd never run unless chasing a ball, joined cross country this year and loved it!!! Do not give up - there may be a running group out there just funky enough to motivate you!
I prefer to walk than run. I go to physical therapy and they work the dickens out of me!
ReplyDeleteOh, my body talks to me alright...and I don't have to run to hear it very clearly! ;)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever once seen a runner with a happy, smiling face? Hmmm? 'Nuff said.
Try speed walking. It's far better on the joints. Plus...you look so geeky that no one would accuse you of being a bragger.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note...one shoulder should not click. Have it checked out and see if there are some shoulder exercises that will stop the clicking.
My right knee says, "Squish, squish." It doesn't hurt but the sound makes me want to throw up and THAT is why I don't move.
ReplyDeleteMy body says, "Stop running, fool!" I tell it to shut up. Then we fight for a while.
ReplyDeleteBUT I do believe some people's bodies are built for running (legs to body proportions) and some are not. If it really hurts, that a good sign you might be better off with something else. Ain't no shame in doing something else!