A True Fan

 

If I had to line up all the folks who like to hang with my girls…well, it would be a long line.

And I don’t even feel bad about bragging about that.

The first in line after Coach and I? Their Grandparents.

They are fortunate enough to have THREE Grandma’s and TWO Grandpa’s.

How lucky…I know.

There is an upside to divorce.

 

This past weekend, we were near my MIL and FIL’s hometown. They don’t get to see LoLo play as much high school softball as they do travel ball in the summer.

So Coach’s Mom showed up on Friday with her nails ‘did.’

 

Here is a close up.

I know. She is flippin’ awesome.

 

 

Have you ever colored your hair or nails to match a beloved team?

Nobody puts Baby in (a corner) Camp.

 

Except, for the baby herself.

Linds: The baby.

(that is what My G’ma referred to her as. The baby)

We had tentatively planned a Vegas trip for spring break…yes with the kids. But that plan fell through.

So, she declared this year, “I want to go to camp.”

Okie dokie.

Camp it is.

Our good family friend Connor has been going to this camp for years.

But she knows not another soul there.

She is a brave and adventure seeking kid.

She was on board and declared herself a camper this spring break.

A dude ranch camper.

Horseback riding , paintball, rock walls, zip lines, dancing, archery, water sports, skateboarding, photography…you name it. They will do it. (I wish I could have done this at 14 Or 42!!!)

Hence my Florida driving tour on Sunday. For my girls…anything.

Here is the kicker. This little baby of ours…well, she is a techno addicted kid. Forizzle.

Majorly addicted to her electronics.

 

So, when she learned that NO cell phones were allowed…and she  was game STILL, well we knew she was really GAME.  

Her little thumbs have never had this much of a break.

It could be bad for their muscle tone. Or good.

 

I pick her up on Friday. I miss her already.

If only she could call or text me….

 

Monday Smonday

We had a wonderful, but jam packed weekend.

I have photographic evidence. 

There were four games of this:

Four of these make a boxer party.

This ONE guy…who with his wonderful parents drove 2 1/2 hours to watch her play.

 

She had ONE In the park Grand SLAM!!!

Her first. Ever.

 

And of course, One baby to nibble on. Super boy. Super yummy.

Did you read the bragging part? First.grand.slam.

And of course, some attitude with our chillaxing. That was not a first.

There was much driving for me yesterday…I took a small tour of Florida.

Southeast coast north to Central Florida, Central to the West coast, then south to home.  In THE RAIN.

It will take a couple days for me to catch back up. If ever.

Our spring break commences today.

I am feeling the spring part..when does the break come?

 

Friends And A Baby are on the Weekend Menu!

 

I am getting some much needed girlfriend time this weekend.  I have been around these kids wayyyy too much. I noticed I am talking like them. A lot. Or maybe they are just talking like me?  Like, OMG, now I am confused.

Have you noticed that as you get older, you can count the number of really good friends on one hand? You know, those people who know your stories…know your ticks and still love you? Me too. 

Girlfriends…there is nothing better.  And one of my girlfriends has the sweetest, cutest, most edible little baby boy. Super boy. I am going to nom nom nom nosh on his face.  

Surely I will post some photos… Before I nosh his face.

***

Speaking of babies that I can eat…

What kind of dressing do you like? Bleu Cheese? Ranch? Or would you like some of my homemade mustard/lemon/poppy dressing?

See how pretty my lettuces are growing? Red lettuce and romaine.

I am such a total garden nerd now. What time is the meeting? Gardeners Anonymous.

***

MMMmmmmmm can you smell that? Fresh Cinnamon raisin bread just piping hot out of the bread machine. Sinfully yummlicious.

Have a great weekend everybody. I hope your weather is nice so you can get out and grow something, cut something or run after something. (???)

If you are trapped indoors, may you have good company….a girlfriend or two, a furry friend, or even a cute baby to nosh on.

Bee GREEN. Bee friendly. Bee happy about something!

What is on the agenda? Spill it!!

My Favorite

 

Potted flowers:

Geraniums; the only flowers I have not been able to kill. They tolerate the Florida heat, as well as love the Florida COLD.

And my new favorite POTS for the front entry:

 

I had my eye on these for quite a while and was waiting for them to go on sale. They are so pretty. And recyclable.  And pretty.  And on sale. Did I mention pretty?

And….they are self watering. That sounds like magic, right?

So after two weeks of me waiting and watching, I have not seen these pots water themselves. I am thinking this self watering bit is a hoax. :)

 

Remember my friend Maribel? She loves living on the front porch; lots of lizards to hiss at.

Ok, maybe she doesn’t hiss. See her little bowl that she is holding. I joked that I would keep an extra house key in there. Some of you sillies thought I was serious.

I am not that naive.

I hid the key under her little bunny tail. 

If you need me, I am sitting by the front door waiting for these pots to self water…

 

I Dreamt I Had Insomnia.

 

 

Think about it.

I dreamt that I couldn’t sleep. While I was sleeping.

I must dig deeper into my psyche and see what that means.

Or maybe I will just let it pass.

I am getting a headache thinking about it already. 

I’d like to take a nap, but I am afraid I won’t be able to sleep.

 

Cocoa has never been stricken with insomnia. 

PS. I almost hit publish when I realized the title said: I dreamt I had amnesia. It took me 10 minutes to remember the word I was looking for to replace amnesia.

Irony surrounds me.

Now *AND* Later

 

Do you know the real meaning of the candy called Now and Later?

You know, those little sweet squares of destruction deliciousness.

I learned the meaning at age 12, while innocently sitting on the hUMp in the back of my Dad’s blue Mustang.

Now means: enjoy the great taste of the sweet candy NOW.

Later means: Soon you will be at the dentist…’cause back at NOW, you pulled your filling out of your molar with your dang quarter candy.

SHiZa Minelli!

ShitAkE Mushrooms!

The visit to the dentist was not as painful as the verbal lashing from my Dad concerning buying candy and the co$t of dental health. 

If I could have turned back time, I would have kept my quarter in the pocket of my faded brown corduroys where it belonged.

Now and Later, I will neither forget or forgive.

Getting Better and Going Solo

 

I took your advice and I went to the Dr. yesterday.  You know who YOU are. You bossy and smart people. You.

Have you ever coughed so hard, you thought you might wet your pants? Me neither.

So, I am on the drugs now.

I spent a good part of the day running around; Dr., Pharmacist. Super WallyWorld…I got home, unloaded the car and had a few hours to rest before I had to pick up Linds.

15 minutes later:

**Ring Ring**  Hello? “Mom, it’s me Lo, I am sick. I can’t stay for softball practice.”

So, a jaunt to the high school and another trip to the Dr. and yet another to the Pharmacist.

By the way, have you ever walked up to the pharmacy counter and said: “I would like to fill my subscription?”    Me neither.

My pharmacist thinks I have a thing for him now; 4 visits in one day. Whatever. I am a tease.

***

My people are leaving me for the night and a good part of Saturday.

ALL of them.

It will just be me and the critters.

I will be fine.  As long as Cocoa does not insist on me giving her another mani/pedi.  She never stays still for the polish to dry….boxers are impatient like that.

She is so cute! Sometimes I just want to squeeze her so hard and love her so much that her eyeballs might pop out of her head.

maybe I shouldn’t advertise that?

How is your weekend looking? Solo? full house? A mani/pedi for your pooch or you?

you know I was kidding about the mani/pedi for Cocoa. Although, she does insist on a monthly European facial and Hot Rock massage.

Bee Healthy. Bee Silly. Bee Colorful!

 

Under the weather? What does that mean anyway?

 

I am on day 8 of “the sickness.”

The funk. The bug. *cough cough* The creeping crud.

 

I thought it was going bye bye. Two times, I thought it was on it’s way out the door. But it came back for me. I am irresistible that way. 

I would scream, but it hurts too much. I am sure it will leave soon. If not, I will visit Dr. FeelGood.

I just don’t like to go if I can get better on my own with no rx.

**excuse me, I just coughed up a lung**

Tuesday I spent so much time in bed, I was getting concerned about bed sores.

I have cleaned out the TIVO. I have used up mucho boxes of tissues. I am sleeping as much as humanly possible.

It is boring after a while, all this laying around. No energy to do anything.  I did not even feel like typing.

I paid Ozzie to type this for me. That dog will do anything for a cookie. Plus he gets to use his degree he acquired at boxer stenography school.

I caught myself watching back to back episodes of Keeping Up with The Kardashians. Kill me now. It doesn’t get much worse than that, does it?

I hope to feel better soon and get back to real life again.

**air hugs** 

 

 

 

Art by: Erin Smith

The Weekend in Numbers, Dings and all!

The number of teenagers we had at our house Friday night: 7

The number of teenagers we took to dinner on Friday night: 7

The number of times I said: “this is crazy” to the Coach: 2

The number of dings added to the Yukon (while still in the driveway): 1

LoLo’s first. And hopefully last.

The number of us in the car traveling across the state for a dance competition: 5

The number of stage mothers seen at said dance competition: 147

The number of times I thought: “I have never seen so many little girls wearing SO much makeup”: 242

The number of times I opened my mouth to speak and all that came out was a squeak: 29

The number of ibuprofen consumed by me: 10

The number of nights Ozzie and Cocoa got to stay at the boarder: 2

The number of minutes before Ozzie and Cocoa got their baths after we got home: 15

The number of hours Ozzie and Cocoa spent on the couch after their weekend: 6

The number of ‘maters found growing on the farm when we got back home: 3

The number of times I declared: “I’m a real farmer NOW!”: 3 and yes, I had both arms fist pumping in the air while declaring this.

I hope your weekend was fabulous. I do consider this a fabulous weekend…sickness, ding and all.

Everyone will be relieved that my voice is back. Kinda. A bit on the squeeky/smokey side.

Well, almost everyone.

TGIF; Marry a nice boy and NO cussing!

“Life is one fool thing after another, whereas love is two fool things after each other.”

                                                                                                Oscar Wilde

I was feeling pretty miserable for a few days this week. Thanks to the love and support of my fama-lama-ding-dong, I survived. The coach is very good to me. I should have milked it for a few more days though…

I swear, if my girls don’t marry someone as nice as their Dad, I will never forgive them. Plus, I will make HIS life a living hell. I will…

***

Cuss word of the week: Shiza Minnelli. (Liza, with sh)

We are not cussers at our house…but Lo said this out of frustration yesterday and it cracked me UP! Shiza Shiza Shiza.

My friend KBL has the best cuss words lines ever:

“Oh my helicopter!”

“What the French toast?”

That kind of stuff just makes me laugh so hard!! *Snort *Snort*

Do ya’ ever wake up in the morning and feel like you SLEPT like this all night? Me too.

***

Nothing big happening this weekend…softball last night. softball tonight. Dancing tomorrow.

Da’ bears are 8 and 1. Sweet Shiza!

Happy weekend everybody.

Any plans for dancing? Poles involved? Me? NEVER.

Bee a happy fool. Bee a dancer. Bee Loved.

Do you have to give love to bee loved? {maybe not, if you dance on a pole! }

*Sharing is Caring*

 

Right?

Unless it is a cold virus or a jail cell.  Keep those to yourself. 

Ok, I said I had a little something sweet that I wanted to share. Actually I said it was super duper sweet and cute news that will get me into trouble for sharing.

It is not BIG news.

Nothing that needed lights, press, or an interruption of your lunch. (thankyouverymuch Tiger Woods)

I may disappoint you today.

I said it was nothing big. OK?

NO. I am not getting a puppy. Please. I have enough animals.

*Ruff Ruff* *Meow* *slither* *sss…sss…sss* (noisy *lizards)

Ok, so the cutest. sweetest...little thing that I thought I wanted to share, but was afraid to share, cause I will get into trouble is:

Icanttellyou.

It is too risky for me.

I shant do it.

I have much to lose. 

I will die a painful death.

I still have much unfinished business.

I mean, who would organize that huge pile of photos on the table?

What? You don’t care about my painful death?

Wow.

Thanks people.

Ok, well, then I will tell you but in code words. Ok? Ok.

Don’t complain if you can’t figure this out on your own.

I made a promise.

There is this painful death I have to worry about.

Ok, so the cutest sweetest little piece of news is as follows:

It involves a teenager in my house.

I won’t tell you which one. But she may or may NOT play a sport that involves a stick like apparatus and a round thingy.

 No, not hockey.

But I can’t tell you what sport. Ok? 

Well, anyhoo, when this teenager was a little girl, she may have played this sport way back then too.

She is 6 in this picture. lil’ jack-o-lantern.

Well, anyhoo, when she played this particular sport that I can’t mention, she had boys on her team.

You know back then, she was one of the boys. Well, she practically is today as well, but she has caught the boys eyes for more than just playing sports. You know what I mean.

Heck, look at her:

Oh wait, not THAT photo.

This one:

I mean, we don’t have to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play with her anymore. (The sayings I learned from my Dad…)

So, this particular teenager may or may NOT have a boyfriend that MAY or MAY NOT go to the same school as her.

He MAY or MAY NOT play a sport SIMILAR to hers too.

No, NOT Lacrosse.  

And guess what else.

He MAY or may NOT have been on her SAME team way back when.

Yep.

He MAY or may NOT be in this photo right here:

(my jack-o- lantern is 2nd from the left)

This particular boy MAY or MAY NOT have been to our house several times in the last month.

This particular boy may or may NOT have a cell phone permanently attached to his ear talking to one of my children.

I am just sayin’.

That is all.

I think that if all this were true, that it would make for a really, really sweet and cute story.

right?

maybe.

if it were true.

I won’t confirm anything.

I hope my death is not too painful.

I love you all.

PS. Remember I like tulips. 

PSS. Someone please feed the animals and water my garden.

PSSS. I like all my photos organized in chronological order.

 

Paybacks

The other morning Linds came out of her room ready for school.

I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye…something foreign.

I immediately reached my hand out to her hair….What is that? PURPLE??

Before my hand could touch her head she jumped back and said:

Gurrrllll Pahhleease don’t touch my weave!!!!!!

Sometimes, I am not quite sure where she came from.

But she always makes me laugh…laugh so hard I lose my coffee.

Where she came from? That is coming back to me…it is all coming back to me.

Paybacks. You reap what you sow. You get what you gave.

Sorry Mom. Sorry Dad.

 

See What Happens?

I opened my big ol’ pie hole yesterday talking about how great LoLo has been hitting and lo and behold….the softball God’s heard me.

Her bat cracked at hitting practice last night.

See? paybacks. when will I learn??

I almost mentioned the fact that LoLo has been in the local paper a bit lately…luckily in the sports section and not the police beat.

Isn’t that what all parents want? To keep their kids out of the bad news section?

But I won’t mention that now.

You know, I could stir up fate again.

***

We have been taking turns; drawing straws, on who gets to be sick each week.

It has been about 4 weeks for me, so my straw was drawn this morning.

I am officially calling in sick.

Who is bringing me chicken Noodle soup?

How about some fresh squeezed OJ?

The more pulp the better. I like to chew my OJ.

Have a glorious snot-free day.